Claiming a convict's soul
by LoversCure
Summary: After the war Hermione tries to help an innocent child, but what if it turns out this girl is not the only one who needs and deserves to be saved from the consequences of war?
1. Chapter 1 All the world's a stage

**A/N Ok guys, this story is going to be quite long, I already have 20.000 words semi-ready on my laptop and I am not even near to finishing the plot. Hopefully I can make it up to 100.000 words, that would be amazing.**

**This is the first story I ever post so I'm actually quite nervous about it. However, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.**

**I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters and places you may recognise, they are all the amazing creation of J.K. Rowling. I only own the things that came from my own mind.**

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><p>"<em>When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."<br>-Marc Twain_

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><p>It was freezing in London. Diagon Ally was covered in a thin layer of snow, making it look like a scene from a muggle Christmas movie, even though Christmas had passed over a month ago.<p>

The big clock that hung from Gringotts showed it was a quarter past nine and most stores had just opened their doors to welcome their first customers of the day.

Voldemort had been defeated and the war had ended. Most shop-owners had returned to Diagon Ally and reopened their shops. The street looked as beautiful and magical as ever.

However, this early in the morning the street was practially empty. A few people roamed the street to do some early shopping, a few others stood in front of Madam Malkin's. The woman had yet to open her store this morning and so they where waiting patiently.

In the scarcely crowded street, one woman stood out. It was evident that this lady was trying not to be recognised and that was exactly what caught the attention of the passers-by.

The woman wore a long expensive looking cloak in a dark-red shade, it came all the way to the ground and hid whatever she was wearing underneath. The hood of the cloak was up and pulled over her face so that it also hid her face completely.

Even though her face was invisible it was clear this person was either a girl or a woman. Her figure was too slender to be male and high heels could be heard clicking on the street as she walked.

Her gloved hands where pushing a pram as she swiftly moved towards the leaky cauldron.

In the pram was a little girl of approximately a year old. The babygirl had black hair and her large eyes where almost as dark as her curls. She was silently reaching for the falling snowflakes, almost able to grab them before they would hit the heating spell that was around the pram and melt. Her face was scrunched up in concentration as she tried to reach for another snowflake every time one melted.

The woman's high heels where clicking onto the streetstones in a fast rhythm. She was clearly in a rush. Every time she would pass someone she would lower her head, making sure no-one could see her face.

Some of the people around her would stop and look at her but in general they did not pay too much attention to her awkward behaviour.

Ever since the war had ended they did not really have a reason to be afraid of others, and besides, they had gotten used to people not wanting to be recognised.

Most of the death-eaters that had survived the final battle had been arrested and had either been kissed or where serving lifetime sentences in Azkaban. Only a few had gotten away but no-one expected those who had not been caught to be stupid enough to go on a shopping trip to Diagon Ally.

No, the people who where trying to hide their faces in the streets had not been death-eaters. However they had either openly sympathized with them or where otherwise associated with the 'wrong' side of the war. No-one wanted to have anything to do with them, and so they hid their faces in shame, hoping that some day, in a few years, they would be able to regain their place in society.

However, if people taught that this woman had also been on the 'wrong' side of the war, they could not even start to guess how far off they where in their assumptions. This person had not only not been a death-eater sympathizer But she had actually played a key-role in defeating Voldemort and saving the wizarding world.

She had been given an Order of Merlin, first class and with her status as war-hero she could have done or gotten everything she wanted.

However, about two weeks after the final battle she had decided to disappear. And all because of the small girl that was still trying to catch snowflakes. Yes, she had disappeared because of her adoptive daughter which she had sworn to protect al all costs. And because of the child's adoptive father, her husband.

The young woman looked at the pamphlet on one of the store windows. Her own face looked back at her. 'Missing' it said. She recognised the picture, it had been in the Daily Prophet only two days after the final battle, when the news of Voldemort's defeat had finally reached every single soul in wizarding Britain.

She sighed. Maybe it had been stupid to come to Diagon Ally after all. People where looking for her everywhere around the country.

She felt a slight pang of guilt go through her stomach as she thought about her friends who where still looking for her, even though she'd disappeared on them months ago. She knew they knew she was okay. After she had made her decision to go into hiding she had sent them a letter. In that letter she had stated that she was alive and well and also that she wouldn't be returning for quite a while. She had not given them any details about why she had left or where she had gone to but she had hoped they would trust her enough to accept her decision and to not come looking for her. She had been sourly mistaken, they had started to look for her right away, reported her as a missing person and even months after her disappearance they wouldn't give up on finding her. She couldn't say she was surprised about it.

The woman sighed, she loved her friends but they just wouldn't understand. They wouldn't understand why she had adopted this child and they most definitely wouldn't understand her choice of husband. Worst thing was that she couldn't blame them for it. If she would've been in their situation she wouldn't have understood either

Thankfully the store that she had needed to go to had opened early and after she had bought what she had come for she had started to make her way back to the apparation point. She couldn't wait to be safely back home.

Suddenly someone grabbed her arm, almost causing her to scream in shock and hex the person. Instead she managed to keep herself calm and only gave a slight gasp.

She didn't look up, but she could hear a males voice.

"Excuse me ma'am, but would you please show us your left arm," the voice said urging and with a dark tone to it.

The woman lifted her head just enough to see there where two figures in front of her. She recognised the colour of their robes, they where aurors. She didn't recognises their faces but she was really glad she hadn't hexed them. Ever since the war aurors had gotten more dangerous. They where now allowed to use unforgivables on suspected death-eaters and on everyone who attacked them, and many of them seemed to enjoy that freedom a bit too much.

At the same moment a whaling cry came from the pram. The child didn't like the loud angry voice of the auror and had decided to deal with this by having a tantrum.

Quickly the woman removed her black leather glove, which reached all the way up to her elbow and showed the auror the inside of her left arm. It was obvious they where checking for the dark mark.

"Thank you madam, everything seems al right there. I'm sorry for the inconvenience." the voice spoke, still not sounding too friendly.

The woman had to fight the urge to snap at him for scaring the baby, instead she nodded, put on her glove and quickly walked away from them. They hadn't asked her to identify herself and she had no intention of waiting around long enough for them to remember that.

The baby didn't stop crying, red spots where now covering her pale face. The woman stopped walking and picked her up. With her left arm she pressed the girl to her chest, covering her under her cloak to protect her from the snow. Then she took her wand, shrunk the pram and put it in the pocket of her cloak. She was nearly at the Leaky cauldron and she couldn't use the floo while pushing the pram anyway.

"Excuse me, madam" a familiar voice started "I might have something in the shop that will calm her down, I have recently added childrenstoys to the collection."

She turned around, glancing up at George Weasley's face, making sure her own face was still covered in the shadow of her hood.

He looked older, the loss of his twin had been hard on him. He gave her a friendly smile, but the smile didn't reach his eyes the way it used to.

Because of the shock the auror had given her and her daughter screaming her lungs out she hadn't looked what way she'd been going. She had just wanted to get away from the aurors as fast as she could. Her lack of carehad caused her to stop right in front of the weasley's store, causing yet another threat to be discovered.

She quickly shook her head, she obviously couldn't take the risk.

George looked at her, clearly being disappointed.

"You know what I'll do?" he said, "I'll give you a free sample of one of the new toys. I think she would like it and it seems to be such a sweet girl. Those aurors gave her quite a scare, didn't they?"

The woman gave it a quick thought. She really didn't want to risk being recognised by him. But refusing a free toy for the baby might look very suspicious and would possibly draw his attention even more.

She cursed herself for getting into this situation but nodded anyway, following George inside of the shop. She still had the girl in one arm, cradling her against her body. Once inside the girl had popped her head out of the cloak and was looking around, her dark eyes big with wonder and her fright already forgotten.

Everywhere around them colourful pranks and toys changed colour, moved, smoked, flew, or made sudden noises. The store was just as beautiful as the woman remembered. As she followed him to the back of the store her attention was drawn to a big, colourful kite. The card in front of it said it worked even when it was wind still. Suddenly, the kite started moving, flapping its sides as if they where wings. The sudden gust of wind caused her hood to fall back.

The woman gasped, grabbed the hood before it fell all the way down and quickly yanked it back in place.

But he had seen it, there was no doubt he had seen her face.

He stared at her, going very pale, eyes widening. "H-h-herm.."

She quickly shook her head, turned around and tried to leave the store. George, who apparently had come to his senses extraordinarily fast responded to that by firmly grabbing her by the arm and dragging her with him to the back of the store.

She could have hexed him, but she really didn't want to. And besides, it wouldn't solve anything. He had seen her, nothing could be done about that.

So she let him drag her through the store while she clasped the little girl to her chest.

They entered the office at the back and once they where inside George locked the door, took a seat behind the desk, crossed his arms and looked at her.

Hermione sighed, took one of the two seats in front of the desk and grabbed her hood, lowering it all the way. Game over.

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><p><strong>AN:**

**Yes I know, terrible cliffhanger and a lot of questions. everything will be explained in later chapters.**

**The chapter's title 'All the world's a stage' is a line from Shakespeare's 'as you like it' **

**I would love to get reviews so I know how I did! I also don't mind advice so I can improve my writing skills but please don't flame my story down without giving advice, there's really no use for that. **

**Also, if you are (or know) a good beta that would be willing to take a look at the next chapters, please let me know! I did proofread my story but English is not my first language AND I'm dyslexic so I'm quite sure I need a beta.**

**Next chapter will be up in a week max. but probably sooner, depending on the reviews. (If I missed a lot of mistakes while proofreading I might want to wait for a beta)**


	2. Chapter 2 We read the world wrong

**A/N.: Chapter 2! A big thanks to my readers for their kind reviews. I'll make sure to spell Diagon ally right in the future :).**

**I also want to thank everyone who has added this story to either their favourites or their story alerts. It all means a great deal to me guys!**

**Again: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters and places you may recognise, I only own the things that come from my own mind.**

**P.s. Thoughts and letters will be written in italic: **_Like this. _**In this chapter all the thoughts will be Hermione's.**

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><p>Chapter 2 - We read the world wrong and say that it deceives us.<p>

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><p><em>Absence and death are the same - only that in death there is no suffering.<br>-Theodore Roosevelt_

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><p>George stared at the woman in front of him and blinked a couple of times, as if she was a vision that could dissolve into thin air at any moment now. But that obviously didn't happen.<p>

Hermione didn't meet his eyes but turned her attention to the little girl instead. The child had stopped crying and was now rubbing her eyes with her little fists, still sniffling a little.

After a minute or so Hermione couldn't keep pretending as if George wasn't there. Gathering all her courage she raised her head and looked him right in the eyes.

She saw a lot of emotions go through those brown eyes. Shock, relief, hurt, betrayal and then some. Seeing those emotions made her feel even more guilty about her disappearance. However, in her bright mind she was also well aware of the fact that she could not let her emotions get the better of her now.  
>She had had good reasons to leave and giving George too much information could be catastrophic. She broke with George's glance and instead looked around. She noticed a fireplace on the right side of the room, next to the desk. If only she could get to it...<p>

With only a tiny movement of his wand George blocked the fireplace. _Well Shit._

"I...I don't understand" he finally said, drawing Hermione's attention to himself again.

He had kept looking at her, as if he was afraid that if he would look away for just one second she would be gone once more.

George had realized that the girl in front of him did not look the same as he remembered. The Hermione he remembered was a bossy know-it-all with bushy hair and ink smudges on her fingers. The Hermione across his desk looked more mature and composed. Her face was not as round, her cheekbones where showing more and her lips seemed a bit more plumb. Her hair was longer and tamed into smooth brown ringlets, falling down over her right shoulder.

And now that she looked at him it was evident that it where her eyes that had really changed. These where not the eyes of a nineteen year old girl. He had seen eyes like this before, just after the war. They where the eyes of his parents, of his brothers and sister, of the members of the order of phoenix, of Harry Potter. They where his eyes. They where the eyes of people who had seen too much and had bared too many burdens.

However, most of those people had by now more or less recovered. Granted, a lot of them still suffered from nightmares and other symptoms of something that muggles called PTSD, but they had moved on with their lives and where getting better. Hermione's eyes looked as if she was still fighting in a war, as if she still had burdens too bare.

Hermione didn't say anything. She didn't know what she could say, her brain had gone into protection mode, trying to find a way out of this situation. She had to keep her adoptive daughter safe at all costs. As long as George was no direct threat to the girl everything would be al right, but she had to get out. She knew he would demand answers and she couldn't tell him anything. Quickly she glanced down at the girl who was slowly dozing off in her arms.

George followed her gaze. "The girl..." He finally said, nodding his head towards her. "She can't be yours, can she? I mean, you weren't..."

"No I was not pregnant" Hermione finished his sentence. "I think either Harry or Ron might have noticed that, don't you think?"

"Right" George answered, he knew she was only making a joke out of it to get rid of the awkwardness but right now that wasn't helping, this was no time for jokes. "Then who is she?"

"Her name is Esmeraude, she's an orphan."

"And why is she with you and not in an orphanage or something?"

"She is with me because she is my adoptive daughter. And that's obviously also the reason why she isn't in an orphanage_." or something_

"But you have to be married to adopt a child!" George replied, eyes wide.

Hermione cringed, she had not expected George to know something like that, and she definitely hadn't planned on telling him that scrap of information. _A well, there is no use to denying it now _she thought. "Yes I am aware of that George."

"so you are?"

"I am what?" Hermione asked, raising one eyebrow. _Wait, had she actually copied a habit from a painting? Now that was weird. _Ofcourse she knew what George had meant with his question but she was trying to buy her self some time.

"Well, married of course!" George said, eyes still wide.

Hermione didn't answer. As long as she didn't respond to the accusation he would never be sure.

Unfortunately George had other plans. "Accio gloves!" he yelled, while pointing his wand towards Hermione. Hermione's gloves shot from her hands and flew towards George.

"Auch! George that hurt!" Hermione accused while rubbing the fingers of her right hand with her left.

George didn't respond. Instead he stared at the ring that was around one of Hermione's fingers.

The ring was a silver band with a tiny running lioness on it, drawn in gold. The eye of the lioness was a very small emerald.

George was astonished at the combination of a Lion, the symbol of Gryffindor and an emerald, a stone that was associated with Slytherin.

_Oh god, _Hermione thought _If his eyes open even wider they might actually fall out._

Now George was the one to raise an eyebrow, looking suspicious. "Who did you marry, Hermione?" He asked, sounding very serious.

"That is none of your business."

George glared at her. He was clearly getting angry at her, and she couldn't blame him.

Suddenly something seemed to snap inside of him and he started shouting. "For months, MONTHS! We haven't heard a single thing from you. We didn't know where you where, you could have been death! We all lost so many family members and friends and you simply decide to leave us without telling us why or where you went. You can't even imagine what we've gone through! And what about Ron and Harry, do you have any idea what you did to them?"

Startled at the sound, Esmeraude started crying again. Hermione tried to comfort her but after this outburst she too was shaking.

"You knew I wasn't death. I sent Harry and Ron letters telling them I was okay."

"You could have been forced to write those letters. You could have been abducted by one of Voldemorts remaining followers and forced to write you where okay so we wouldn't come looking for you. Many of his sympathisers are still on the lose. Even some death-eaters haven't been arrested. Even Malfoy hasn't been captured yet!"

Hermione's head shot up. "and why on earth would Malfoy want to abduct me?"

"Oh come on Hermione! You're the mudblood that helped defeat his master, of course he'd want revenge!"

"Well, I haven't been abducted by Lucius Malfoy. Or anyone else for that matter. You can pass that on to Ron and Harry, I'll make sure to send them another letter sometime soon. For now I would very much like it if you'd unlock the door so we can take our leave before Esmeraude chokes on her own tears." Hermione said as she grasped her gloves of the desk and fumbled to put them back on. Her face was torn with hurt, tears shining in her own eyes as well.

George didn't unlock the door but his anger seemed to disappear as fast as it had come, making him look more like his old self. "I can't, Hermione. I should take you with me to see the order. They have the right to question you about why you took off, there have been some weird stories going around. And besides we all deserve an explanation. They won't forgive me if they hear I spoke to you and just let you go. You have to understand" he pleaded.

Hermione took a deep breath. "Very well then" she said, before taking her wand from her sleeve and pointing it at the door. With a loud 'bang' the door flew open. The spell was strong enough to make the doorpost catch fire. She put her hood back up and hurried out, hiding Esmeraude under her cloak once more. Once outside she disapparated right away, leaving an astonished and confused George behind.

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><p>Harry Potter was sitting at the kitchen table inside of the Burrow. Even though he didn't officially live there he liked being in the Weasley's family home.<p>

Soon after the war he and Ginny had gotten married and had purchased a small house in Godric's Hallow, but because Ginny was finishing her education at Hogwarts the house was too quiet for his liking. Therefore he would usually visit the Burrow and dine with the Weasley's after he got back from aurors training. Today was his day of and he had come over to spend the day with his in-laws.

Molly Weasley hadn't been too happy about their marriage at such a young age, but she'd come around fast when she saw how happy the two where together. And of course she had very much enjoyed preparing the event and having it at the Burrow.

In the months after the final battle a lot of young people had gotten married. Luna and Neville Longbottom where even expecting their first child together. Of course both of them didn't have parents any more, So it only made sense that they wanted to start a family of their own. Xenophilius had been killed by death-eaters just days before the final battle and Neville's parents where still in St Mungo's,

Harry heared a sound by the kitchen window. He looked up just in time to see Molly open the window and taking a letter from the owl that was in front of it. As soon as the owl had given her the letter it flew away, apparently it didn't have to wait for a response.

"There's two letters, one is addressed to you dear." she said before handing him the letter.

Harry took the letter from her and gasped as he recognised the handwriting. He quickly opened it, ignoring the shaking of his hands, and started to read.

_Dear Harry,_

_First I want to congratulate you and Ginny on your marriage. I am very happy for the both of you._

_As I have told you in my last letter I am alive and well. I might need to add that I am here out of my own free will._

_I am very sorry that I can not tell you where I am or why I have not been in contact with anyone but you will have to believe me that it is for the best._

_I think George will try and talk to you sometime soon. I really hope this letter gets to you before he does._

_The reason he would want to talk to you is because he saw me and my adoptive daughter earlier today in Diagon ally._

_Yes I have an adoptive daughter and yes as George will inform you that does also mean I'm married._

_I am not going to tell you who my husband and my daughter are. I wish I could but I feel the only way I can protect them is by keeping them a secret. Please do not think that I don't tell you because I don't trust you. I just think people wouldn't understand and right now it is not a risk I am willing to take._

_Please pass my love on to everyone else and tell them I miss them and that I hope they are in good health._

_Love,_

_Hermione_

Harry put the letter down, ignoring Molly who had seen his face as he read and was now firing questions at him. He felt relieved by the information Hermione had given him. He had recognised the handwriting on the envelope the moment he had seen it. Now that he had read it he had no reason not to believe it was Hermione who had sent it. The things she had written in it had to be true; she said that she had spoken to George and this was so easy to check that it couldn't possibly be a lie.

However, Harry didn't know whether to feel relieved or angry.

He was glad to hear that she was safe, but that also meant that she had deliberately abandoned them.

Harry didn't understand how she could do such a thing, especially after they'd lost so many of their friends already. She of all people knew how hard it was to be abandoned by someone you cared for. He remembered all those nights in the tent, after Ron had left, when she would cry herself to sleep. And how could she do something like this to them after all they had been through?

Harry could feel the anger burn inside him, ripping on his intestines and replacing more and more of the relief he had initially felt. He took a deep breath to calm himself down and re-read the letter.

How could she possibly be married and have adopted a child? He had known that she and Ron had broken up only a week after the final battle, deciding they'd mistaken friendly affection for love, but she hadn't been in love with anyone else, had she? And why wouldn't she tell him who it was?

Yes, the letter had answered a few of his questions, but it had also caused a million new questions to appear.

At that moment Harry heard the rush of flames behind him. As he turned around he saw a red-haired figure tumbling into the kitchen. George had arrived.

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><p><strong>AN: Still no answers, I am terribly sorry. You'll get them soon enough, I promise!**

**- _Esmeraude – A French girls name which means 'Emerald' (only long after I chose the name I realised there is a character in Sailor Moon which has the exact same name. There is no similarity between them)_**

**- The chapter title '_We read the world wrong and say that it deceives us.' is a quote from 'stray birds' by __Rabindranath Tagore 1861-1941  
><em>**

**I love reviews, so keep them coming! Every time my inbox shows I have a new review I feel like a child on Christmas morning. You guys are amazing!**

**Again the next chapter will be up soon, my university is closed for a few days so hopefully I'll be able to work on the story :)**


	3. Chapter 3 Hate the sin, love the sinner

**A/N: Hi guys! So this is chapter 3.**

**I have rewritten this chapter several times and this is the second version I put up. (so if you did got an alert but couldn't find the chapter, that's why!)  
>Let's hope it's better than the last one. (I posted that one about two hours ago but once I re-read it I realized just how terrible it was and I took it back down)<strong>

**A big thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story so far. Please keep the reviews coming so I know if I'm on the right track.  
><strong>

**Again I do not own anything you may recognize. It's all the amazing creation of J.K. Rowling and I'm just borrowing it.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Chapter 3 Hate the sin, love the sinner.<p>

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><p><em>You didn't ask me to be born<br>You, why should you learn of war or pain?  
>To make sure you're not hurt again<br>I swear I'd give my life for you _

_I'd give my life for you – Miss Saigon_

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><p>After Hermione had sent the two letters for Harry and Ron she walked to the nursery to check on Esmeraude. She was relieved to find the girl was sound asleep. After the sudden apparation earlier that morning, Hermione had had a hard time to get the girl to calm down. Side-along apparation was always very uncomfortable and Esmeraude was simply too young to understand what had happened.<p>

Hermione sat down in one of the two armchairs near the window and closed her eyes for a few seconds, pinching the bridge of her nose. It had been an eventful morning. After a few minutes she took a deep breath, got up from the chair and looked around the room.

Esmeraude's nursery was grand to say the very least. The walls where painted with butterflies, unicorns and purple dragons. The floor was packed with toys and stuffed animals and one wall was covered in bookshelves that contained colourful children's books, both muggle and wizard. Hermione liked to say that this room was the dream of every small child. Her husband liked to say that it looked as if a rainbow had exploded in here. And he did not think of that as a compliment.

Hermione had ignored her husband's snide remarks and had kept the room the way it was. The man tended to disagree with a lot of things she did and trying to keep him happy would just drive Herione crazy. And besides, children where supposed to dream and play, carefree and ignorant of the world around them. They couldn't possibly do that in a room with dark wallpaper and ancient furniture.

Hermione had had to grow up way too fast once she had entered the wizarding-world. The return of you-know-who and the entire war that followed where to blame for that. But at least she had been safe and happy as a small child. Esmeraude hadn't always had that, and Hermione was thankful for the fact that the girl had been far too young to remember anything about the war. _Especially about that one terrible day._  
>Hermione would make sure that this girl, her daughter, would never have to face horrors like that ever again. She would protect her, no matter what.<p>

Thinking about how much her life had changed over the past few years made Hermione's head spin. At first she had dropped out of school to roam the country, always hiding from both Voldemort and the Ministry. Then, after they had done the impossible by defeating Voldemort, she had managed to get herself into more trouble again. And now she was married and had a child to take care of. Would her life ever get normal? Hermione doubted it.

It would have been so much easier if she had just walked away from this all and lived the life of a war-hero. If she had just left it up to someone else to marry that man. But it hadn't been about her husband. It had been about Esmeraude, from the very first moment it had been about Esmeraude. The little girl had nothing to do with the war but still Hermione knew that if there was no-one there to protect her, she would suffer from it's aftermath.

Hermione's thoughts wandered from her daughter to her husband. She obviously didn't love him but they had come to an understanding of mutual respect. That was probably all she could ask for. And it was already more than she had ever expected. She had to admit that the man was most definitely not the villain everyone else kept him for. He was just a man like any other. He was a man who had made the wrong decisions for the wrong reasons, and now had to pay for that. Or rather, he made himself pay for that. After all, he could have fled.

Hermione shuddered as she thought about the fate her husband would face. She knew he had changed, she knew he regretted every crime he had ever committed. But who would believe that?

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><p>Suddenly a house-elf appeared in the room, ripping Hermione from her grim thoughts.<p>

At first, Hermione had insisted on paying the house-elves, but said house-elves had not responded too well to that idea (to say the least) and eventually she had had to give up on it.

"What is your name?" Hermione asked the elf in a friendly tone of voice. Hermione insisted on learning all the house-elves' names but there seemed to be at least a hundred of them.

"My name is Wizzy, mistress" the elf replied as it threw itself at her feet.

"Very well, Wizzy. Please get up from the floor, there is no need to do that"

The elf shot up right away. "Wizzy is being sorry Madam"

"There is no need to be sorry either, you couldn't have known. Now tell me, has my husband woken up yet?"

"Master has woken up about an hour ago, Madam."

"A, well the early bird catches the worm I guess." Hermione replied. The elf looked at her with a blank expression on it's face and did not respond to this muggle proverb.

"Would you be so kind to tell me where he is?"

"The master is being in the Library"

"The one on the first floor?"

"Yes Madam."

"Thank you. Now Wizzy, would you be so kind to stay here and keep an eye on Esmeraude? You really don't need to do anything, just come and get me if she wakes up."

"Yes Madam, of course Madam, Wizzy will keep an eye on the young Mistress"

"Thank you very much."

With that, Hermione left the room and headed towards the first floor library. It was no surprise that that was where he was. Ever since the loss of his first wife he seemed to live in there, doing nothing but writing. Hermione was a bit worried about it, she actually had to make him come out to have dinner and she had had to ask the house-elves to make sure he would go to bed at night. He was spending way too much time in the library. The fact that Hermione thought someone was spending too much time in the library was an achievement in itself.

As soon as she opened the library doors she could hear the sound of a quill feverishly scratching on parchment. She could not yet see the person writing and so she simply followed the sound to where her husband usually sat.

The library was in one word enormous. It held at least three times as many books as the one at Hogwarts and Hermione had actually managed to get lost in it twice, after which her husband had had to save her. That was something she would probably have to hear to no end.  
>However, the part that amazed her the most was the fact that this wasn't even the only library the house held, even though it was definitely the largest one. There where two smaller libraries on the second floor and according to her husband there was one more in the basement as well. She would have to take his word for it as that room had very strong wards around it and he refused to let her in. Apparently it held some of the oldest and most dangerous books on dark magic and even her husband did not go there unless it was strictly necessary.<p>

Hermione found her husband in his favourite chair behind an ancient writingdesk. He was hunched over one of the five leather bound books that where on it. She tiptoed over to where he sat, trying not to disturb him. Apparently he still heard her as she approached because he turned his head around. A pair of pale grey eyes looked at her.

"Good morning darling" He spoke in his deep velvet voice.

"Good morning Lucius" she answered.

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><p>Lucius' appearance had changed a lot due to the war. Yes his eyes still held the same pale grey colour, but yet they weren't the same any more. They seemed tired and as good as empty, as if all the joy of life had left them. No trace of the old arrogant gleam they had once held, a gleam which had fed a lot of witches' fantasies.<p>

Along the left side of his jaw there was a dark stripe where a scar started, it went all the way down the side of his throat and then disappeared behind the collar of his shirt. It had been a very precise cut, as if it had been made by a knife rather then by magic.

His pale blonde hair was longer and not as well kept. It had also started to show signs of a more silver colour in some streaks, even though he was only forty-four years old.

Hermione quickly closed the space between them, letting her hand casually brush his shoulder as she walked past him. She then sat down in the chair on the other side of his writing desk.

Lucius had slightly flinched at her casual touch. He reminded Hermione of a scared animal when he did that. It was clear the war had left more than just it's physical scars. On both of them for that matter.

Lucius recovered himself, embarrassed about the fact that he had flinched away from the touch of his own wife. Not that their relationship was a physical one. Merlin no! Their marriage had not even been consummated. Other than the short kiss at their wedding ceremony there had not been any romantic physical contact whatsoever. But still it was embarrassing to flinch away at such minimal physical contact.

Snapping from his pondering, Lucius quickly scribbled a few last words down onto the parchment and then shoved the book away.

"So where have you been this morning dear?" he asked in a casual voice. "The house-elves told me you had left the Manor rather early"

Hermione didn't answer. Instead she handed him a flat box.

"Ah, of course" He said as he opened the box and lifted the tissue-paper. It was another book, similar to the ones that where already on his desk. "Thank you darling, it is very much appreciated."

Hermione gave him a faint smile. "I wish I could give you something a bit less...sad" She said.

"I understand. But for once in my life I am doing the right thing. I, too, wish there was another way."

They where silent for a while, both lost in their own thoughts.

Lucius was the first to speak again.

"So did you enjoy your trip to Diagon Ally?"

Hermione snorted. "Hardly"

"May I ask what happened?" He asked. He didn't sound worried but Hermione could see in his eyes that he was, a bit.

"Nothing major. I just had the bad luck to bump into a pair of aurors enjoying hunting-season and after that I was recognised by no-one less than George Weasley"

"Sounds like you had a rather interesting morning indeed" Lucius said. A small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. The worry had vanished.

"Oh don't mock me! It's not funny. I barely got away. George didn't want to let me leave."

That caught Lucius' attention. Anger showed in his eyes as his protective nature played up. He managed to keep his composure and was glad to find that his voice didn't waver as he spoke."Did he hurt you?"

"No, of course not. He would never do anything to hurt me. I think he was just worried about me."

That seemed to ease Lucius temper. "Well, you are here so it is clear that you got away. Do I need to tell you again that you could just meet up with your friends? I can't say I am their biggest fan but they do deserve it. Something with saving the wizarding world if I'm correct."

"I am not having this conversation again! You're not going out in public and so neither am I"

"Yes, well, the difference is that I would be arrested the second I set foot outside the manor for being pretty much the ministry's main target. whilst you are a war hero and part of the golden trio"

"Well that war hero happens to be married to a certain ministry's main target and therefore refuses to go outside. If they don't accept you they don't accept me. And I don't want to have this conversation again."

"If you insist. You are aware of how little sence you make though, aren't you?"

"I _said _I don't want to have this conversation again. Now, I am going to take a walk on the grounds. I will be back in about ten minutes. Would you join me for breakfast after that or did you already eat?"

"You mean you are going to have a cigarette?"

"If that's how you want to put it."

"Is there any other way to put it?"

Hermione rolled her eyes.

Lucius smirked at this. It reminded him of an old friend. "Really darling, I don't understand you. You are supposed to be the brightest witch of your age and yet you smoke. I do believe you are aware of how bad it is for your health?"

"Well, I didn't always smoke. As you are well aware I only started smoking during the war. And I think, considering the fact that back then I was a teenager fighting the most powerful and evil wizard ever, and the fact that nowadays I am a teenager who is married to one of the countries most wanted, I do deserve this one bad habit. You can call it stress relief if you must."

"Well I suppose they are your lungs darling, not mine. Although that does not change the fact that it seems very much out of character for you."

"Perhaps" Hermione mused, "Now, will you be joining me for breakfast or what?"

"Manners, darling, manners."

Hermione sighed, but she did know he was right. Her mother would probably kill her daughter if she could hear her talk so disrespectful to anyone, even if it was to her own husband. "You are right. Would you please join me for breakfast?"

"Now there's a good girl. Of course I will join you for breakfast."

He saw anger flickering in his young wife's eyes and chuckled. He thought she looked rather gorgeous when she was angry, even if the anger was directed at himself. Yes, even though he refused to touch her, he had to admit his wife was beautiful.

"Do. Not. Speak. To. Me. Like. That." She spoke angrily. "I may be young but I am your wife and I expect you to treat me as such."

"Ofcourse darling. I am very sorry. I suppose I will you see you at breakfast then. Oh and would you make sure not to smell of smoke when you return? It's rather disgusting."

with that he returned back to his writing, showing their conversation had ended.

Hermione shook her head and got up from her chair. There was no use at getting angry at him. He wouldn't give in and she didn't want to have an argument right now. Oh, that infuriating man was going to be the death of her!

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><p><strong>AN: Oh my! It's Lucius *okay, yes you probably already guessed that, and I already knew it, but still...***

**- The chapter's title: 'Hate the sin, love the sinner' is something Mahatma Gandhi once said.**

**Sooo, next chapter will be up in a couple of days (or tomorrow, because it seems I can never wait very long before posting another chapter) **

**Please keep the reviews coming! I really appreciate it if people add my story to their story alerts or their favorites, but reviews give me a better idea of how I am doing :)**

Oh, and anyone want to guess who Esmeraude's parents where? One person already made a guess but I am curious to what the rest of you think!


	4. Chapter 4 Imagination is everything

**A/N: Hi guys! I put this chapter up earlier today before I went to work but it seems it won't show up. Hopefully it will work now.**

**Once again thank you for your reviews!**

**I have noticed that the two less positive reviews where made anonymous. I appreciate them (as long as they are not just story 'bashing') and so I would really like to be able to reply to them. I rarely add something to this story without an underlying reason and I'd like to be able to explain those reasons. **

****Anyway, back to what you're all here for. Chapter 4!  
>I still don't own anything you recognise, that's all the amazing creation of J.K. Rowling.<strong>**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Chapter 4 - Imagination is everything.<p>

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><p><em>I believe humans get a lot done, not because we're smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.<br>__- Flash Rosenberg_

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><p>Once outside, Hermione made sure to securely close the enormous wooden doors behind her. As soon as she was outside the freezing wind started to rip through her clothes. Hermione shivered and quickly cast a heating-charm around herself. Well, at least it had stopped snowing.<p>

She sat down on the steps and pulled a slightly crumpled pack of cigarettes from her jeanspocket. After taking one from the pack she lit it with the tip of her wand. The tip of the cigarette turned green at the first drag.

The cigarette was made with magically treated tobacco. It still wasn't healthy but it was by far not as bad for your lungs as muggle cigarettes. Thankfully it didn't cause the well-known ageing problems and yellow teeth either (Hermione was the daughter of two muggle dentists after all). Unfortunately nothing had been done about the smell.

Emerged in her own thoughts Hermione took another drag of the cigarette. Suddenly she heard a strange screaming noise. She looked around and held her wand up, ready to attack. Then she realised what had made the noise. On one of the gates across the lawn strode a albino peacock.

Hermione silently cursed herself for being so paranoid. There was not the slightest chance anyone or anything could get through the wards without her and Lucius knowing about it immediately.  
>Even owls had to wait outside the gates for their letters to be collected by a house-elf. This house-elf – Larry- had been in charge of the mail for decades, making sure that only important messages where to go to his master. Not that Lucius had opened any letters recently. These days they didn't even reach him. To make sure no-one knew where he was, Lucius had ordered the house-elf to simply sent all the letters that where addressed to him back to sender. The only reply people got was scribbled on the original envelope. '<em>Master is not at Manor, Larry does not know where Master is, Larry is very sorry for inconvenience'<em>

Letters that where addressed to Draco where not sent back. They where screened to make sure they didn't contain booby traps, and the letters that where found safe where collected on a small pile on the boy's desk. Waiting for him to get back from Azkaban.

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><p>With a flick of her wand Hermione banished the cigarette, got up from the cold marble stairs, and went back inside.<p>

Hermione entered the small dining room that was only used for breakfast. At first she had found it ridiculous to only use the room for breakfast but she had stopped complaining about it after she realised just how big the manor was.  
>She hadn't seen all of it yet but she was sure they could be having breakfast, lunch<em>, <em>tea and dinner in a different dining room every day for an entire month if they wanted to.  
>Hermione loved to wander through the house in search for new areas and rooms. Within two days she had found the three large libraries and occasionally she would stumble upon one of the smaller ones that where attached to studies and bedrooms.<p>

The building style made her suspect the Manor was built around the same time Hogwarts was built and, just like Hogwarts, it seemed to be sort of sentient. Different parts of the building seemed to be moving to different places every now and then. More than once she had been desperately lost in the hallways, eventually swallowing her pride and calling a house-elf to take her back to her rooms.

Once she had accidentally stumbled upon the room where she had been tortured by Bellatrix. That specific event might not have been as terrible as it had looked but seeing the room had caused all the memories of that last year of the war to come back at once. Hermione had started to tremble and her knees had buckled from underneath her. The marble floor had gotten dangerously close as Hermione went limp, but just before her face crushed into the cold stone two strong arms had been around her, scooping her up as if she was a small child instead of a grown woman.

Lucius carried her from the room in mere seconds, closing the wooden doors by kicking them on his way out. He had sat down against the stone wall and had cradled her violently shaking figure against his chest. After a few minutes Hermione had calmed down enough to take in the situation.

The smell of Lucius' hair had entered her nostrils, a smell of rime and freshly mowed grass. It blended with the smell of a very expensive aftershave. And then there was the faint smell of parchment and ink due to the fact that Lucius was working on writing his memoires day in day out.  
>Next thing she noticed where the tense muscles of his chest which she could feel through his black velvet shirt. He was very uncomfortable at their touch but he was trying his best to conceal it from her. "I am so very sorry darling, I should have thought about that room before I let you wander through the Manor alone. I'll make sure to seal it so it won't happen again." he had whispered. His voice had been nothing more than a soft deep rumble. To Hermione's terror she had felt her stomach jump and her heartbeat pick up at the combination of the sound of his voice, the smell of his hair and the feeling of his strong arms keeping her safe.<p>

Rationally she knew it was nothing to be ashamed of, Lucius, with his angel-like face, lean muscular body and pale blond hair was a beautiful man. She knew he had once been desired by many witches and she suspected many would still desire him. But Hermione didn't want to feel attracted to him, even if it was only a physical attraction. It would only make things complicated.  
>The man had lost his wife not so long ago and she knew the only reason he had re-married had been to adopt Esmeraude. He did not love her and therefore falling in love with him was most definitely out of the question.<br>After the incident the room was sealed and everything had stayed the way it was.

Breakfast passed without Hermione paying too much attention. She ate a few bites of toast but found she wasn't really hungry. The conversation she'd had with George earlier had affected her appetite. She supported her head with her hand whilst pushing a piece of bacon around on her plate. Then she looked up at Lucius.

_Did she imagine it or did he quickly look away at the exact same moment?_

Hermione grabbed her mug of coffee and took a sip.

_God Lucius looked good when he put his hand through his hair like that...wait...WHAT?...no, she had not just thought that! She had promised herself not to think things like that any more!_

another sip of coffee.

_She liked coffee, it was useful. It helped her to wake up in the morning and it helped her to stay awake and read, even if it was far after midnight._

Lucius grabbed his mug as well.

_She liked it when Lucius drank his coffee. The beautiful thin line of his lips forming to the shape of the coffee mug. The movement of his Adam's apple as he gulped the dark liquid down... OH COME ON!... now she was just being completely ridiculous. She had to stop it._

She tried to keep a straight face and focused on the here and now. Only to realize that she had been staring right at Lucius. The man, who had now put his coffee mug down, looked back at her. The corners of his mouth edging towards the signature Malfoy smirk, one eyebrow slightly raised. Hermione Blushed and quickly looked away.

_Stupid her, stupid Lucius, stupid coffee for making her think of Lucius that way, stupid imagination, stupid, stupid, stupid!_

Hermione quickly got herself together. She gulped down the remainder of her coffee and was just about to get up from the table as one of the house-elves apparated next to it, making the familiar popping noise.  
>Instantly the elf threw itself at Lucius' feet, his long nose nearly slamming onto the floor in his hurry.<p>

"You can get up, Larry" Lucius said.  
>After Lucius had found out how sensitive his young wife was to the subject of house-elves he had tried to learn the names of his elves (an impossible task with this many house-elves)<br>He had also learned to tell the elves to pick themselves up of the ground. Personally he didn't care. He would never tell them to behave like a floorcloth but if they insisted on doing so it was not his problem.

The elf stumbled back to his feet. His tiny fist was clenched around a letter and he looked rather nervous.  
>"What is it?" Lucius asked. The elf cringed at the annoyed tone of his master's voice. Hermione shot her husband an angry look.<p>

"I has a letter, master." the elf squeaked.

"Yes I can see that." Lucius replied. "Do not tell me you came to disturb me and my wife at breakfast to share this _incredible _news with us. You are in charge of the mail and therefore it only makes sense you come across letters once in a while."

"Lucius!" Hermione's voice sounded just as annoyed as her husband but clearly her annoyance was directed at him and not at the tiny creature dressed in a pillowcase. "I think that's quite enough! Now I understand your name is Larry?" she asked, switching her attention from her husband to the elf.

The elf nodded, it's long pointy ears bobbing up and down.

"Very well Larry. As I understand you send letters for Lucius back to their sender and letters addressed to Draco are to be put on the pile in Draco's room. Is there a reason why this letter can't be handled by that standard procedure?"

another nod.

"Why then, Larry?"

"This letter is not being directed to Master or his son, ma'am"

"Then who is it for?" Hermione asked, her voice still soft and friendly but she could feel her stomach turn.

"It is being addressed to you ma'am."

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><p><strong>AN: Lucius' hair smells like the water that you find on the grass at morning, not like poetry! Just clearing that up ;)**

**The (full) chapters title is: Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions. - Albert Einstein**

**I'll try to post chapter 5 and 6 together. Chapter 5 will be a short flashback, and I'll tell you more about the letter in chapter 6.**

**I hope you guys don't hate flashbacks; after next chapter I'll need a few more through-out the story to make everything clear. **


	5. Chapter 5 What's done is done I

**A/N: Ok guys, here is, the first flashback. I am sorry it took me so long, I've been sick for the past couple of days and I didn't feel well enough to write. I'm still a bit shaky but I just wanted to get this chapter out. Chapter 6 shouldn't take this long, don't worry! **

**Thanks again for all the reviews! Please keep them coming, they really mean a lot to me and as long as they're not made anonymous I reply to every single one.**

**The scene you're about to read is a scene from the book written in Hermione's p.o.v.**

**I don't own anything you recognise, as usual.**

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><p>Chapter 5: <em>What's done is done.<em>

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><p><em>It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves.<em>

_- Carl Jung_

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><p>"<em>Wait," Bellatrix said. All except...except for the mudblood."<em>

_Hermione heard Ron's protest followed by the sound of Bellatrix slapping him across the face. She felt her stomach turn and her heart sink. _

_She had known her situation was hopeless from the moment they where recognised. she was a mudblood and therefore the Death-eaters most likely victim. However, she had hoped the boys would understand the gravity of the situation and would focus on getting out, not on saving her. It was clear that in Ron's case that hope had obviously been in vain._

Oh please Harry, please don't do anything stupid. We need you. _Hermione thought_

_She had accepted the fact that she might die months, maybe even years ago, when she had decided to follow Harry no matter what. She had known her actions and decisions could lead her to her death. Actually, it had always been quite likely. _

_Now all she could do was pull her shoulders back, raise her head and face whatever was coming for her with all the bravery she could manage. _

_Hermione took a deep breath. She had to keep calm and empty her mind. It wouldn't be enough if someone would use legilimency on her, but it would at least make it more difficult for them to access her mind. Up until that moment her unbelievably bright brain had been working on full speed. She didn't understand why the fact that they had Gryffindor's sword was so important and it fascinated her. Why had it sent Bellatrix in such a state of pure fury and madness?_

_The first burst of the cruciatus curse hit her with an unbelievable strength, an embodiment of every little part of Bellatrix' fury._

_Hermione screamed as the air was blown from her lungs. It felt as if every part of her body was on fire. The pain pushed every last thought from her mind as tears streaked down her cheeks, blurring her vision. She heard the sound of her own blood rushing in her ears, banning every sound except for her own screams._

_Hermione didn't know if the curse lasted for minutes or ours. All she knew was that her nerves where on fire and it had to stop. And as suddenly as the pain had started it did stop. Slowly Hermione's vision came back. The face of Bellatrix Lestrange was only inches from her own. The crazy black eyes of stared at her with an intensity that sent shivers down her spine, the woman's face was torn in anger._

"_Where. Did. You. Get. The. Sword?" she spat at Hermione, her voice shivering with anger and something else...could it be fear? The woman's breath smelled terrible and Hermione had to try her best not to turn her face away._

Well, Hary found it in a pond after he followed a patronus into the woods. Oh and he almost drowned when he tried to get it out. And then Ron used it to destroy a piece of your masters soul.

_Hermione didn't answer and before she knew it she heard Bellatrix screech "Crucio!" and the agonising pain started all over again. This time the spell lasted longer. Hermione screamed at top of her lungs. She could feel a blood vessel popping at the back of her throat and she tasted the metallic taste of the blood in her mouth._

"_Bella, I think that is quite enough, if she looses her mind she won't be of any use to us. Remember what happened to the Longbottoms, we can't have that now" She heard the cold voice of Narcissa Malfoy say. _

_The spell ended. Hermione felt her muscles shaking but she couldn't stop it. Pearls of sweat dripped down her forehead, mixing with the salt tears that where still flooding her cheeks. _

_It seemed that the only reason Bellatrix had cut of her spell was to yell at her younger sister. _

_Hermione took the sudden break in Bellatrix' 'interrogation' to look around the room. _

_Draco stood in a corner of the room. His face was paler than she had ever seen it and his hands where shaking. Bellatrix was screeching at her sister, Hermione's ears where still ringing in the aftermath of the spell and she could only make out lose words. "no idea...vault...you-know-who...all death.". _

_She moved her eyes towards Lucius. The man was looking at his son, his arrogant face showing worry and sadness. Then he turned to face Hermione and their gazes met for a split-second, his pale grey ones locked with her own brown eyes. _

_Suddenly she saw a flickering in his eyes, as if he had made a decision. He took an other glance at his son and then back at her. Then he put his finger to his mouth, signalling her to keep quiet. Hermione felt her stomach turn, she didn't know what he was going to do but considering the fact that this was Lucius Malfoy it couldn't be much good. She noticed a wand in his hand. _Hadn't Lucius Malfoy lost his wand? _She had heard Bellatrix say something like that when they where brought in. _

_Malfoy kept the wand close to his side, hiding it from everyone elses sight. _

_And then Lucius Malfoy pointed the wand at Hermione and flicked it._

_The spell had been non-verbal and invisible but it did take it's affect. All the sudden Hermione felt her mind go nicely calm and empty. She had the urge to fight the mental invasion of, but she had never been able to fight of the imperio in Dada class and she didn't have the strength to even try now._

_Then she heard the soft velvet voice of Lucius Malfoy, as if it came from inside her mind. _

"Granger, look away from me and back to Bellatrix and my wife, Look as if you are terrified."

_Hermione felt her body responding. Her head snapped towards the two women and her eyes opened to give her face a terrified look. Just at that moment Bellatrix turned her attention away from her sister and back to Hermione, she grinned at the terrified look on the girl's face. _

"Bella will use an other Crucio. You won't be able to feel it but I need you to pretend you do. As soon as the spell hits you, you scream, cry, roll your eyes and make your body buckle in the chair."

"_Now girl, I'll make you talk." Bellatrix said at the very same moment. "Crucio!"_

_Hermione's body responded as it was told. She did not feel any pain and her mind was still as empty as it had been, but she screamed and cried._

_They fell into a sinister routine for the next half an hour.  
><em>_Bellatrix would scream questions at Hermione and when she didn't get an answer she cursed her with the cruciatus.  
><em>_Hermione would scream and her body buckle. She had to be black and blue with bruices but she didn't actually feel anything. Somewhere in that half hour she had fallen from the chair and she was now on the floor at Bellatrix's feet.  
><em>_Lucius just stood there, looking arrogant and tall, not showing in anyway that something was out of the ordinary. Suddenly he changed strategy._

"Tell her de sword is a fake."

_Again Hermione did as she was told. Her voice sounded hoarse and quiet. She knew it was a lie, one that would be easily discovered, but her empty mind did not worry about it._

_It was obvious that Bellatrix didn't even believe this to begin with and she prepared to fire yet an other crucio. However, before she had the chance to do so, Lucius suggested to bring out the goblin that had been brought in with the rest of the prisoners. His voice didn't waver, the man sounded as cold and calm as ever._

_As soon as the goblin was brought in, Lucius flicked his wand again, effectively imperio-ing the small creature as well. After that everything went fast._

_The goblin examined the sword and told everyone it was real. Then a loud _crack_ was heard from the cellar and wormtail was sent downstairs to check on the prisoners._

_Only moments later noises could be heard from the staircase. Hermione looked up to see Lucius trusting the wand back into his son's pocket. _So that's where it had come from._ The moment he lost touch with the wood the imperio spell ended. _

_Hermione groaned as she became aware of the physical aftermath of that many crucio's. Her throat was sore and her eyes swollen. She had bit on her tongue several times and even her teeth seemed to hurt. Worst of all was the feeling in her nerves in general. The overstimulated nerves where working on full speed, sending wave after wave of pain rushed trough her body. _

_She saw Bellatrix press her dark mark to summon her master. Then she lost consciousness._

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><p><strong>AN: I know this chapter will raise a lot of questions, I'll answer some of them throughout the story but I won't be answering all. Believe me I have thought of pretty much all the questions you can ask (and the answers to them) but this chapter is not a major part of the plot and so I don't want to spend to much time on explaining it. Let's just say I wanted to make Lucius look a little less evil towards Hermione.**

**Chapter's title: 'What's done is done.' is by William Shakespeare **

**And because I can't say it often enough: Please review! Reviews are a bit like smiles, they're easy and free to give but they absolutely make my day.**

**Next chapter will be up as soon as possible, probably tomorrow.**


	6. Chapter 6 Fill your paper

**A/N: Okay, back to present time!**

**This chapter was really fun to write, and probably much more fun for you to read than last chapter. I don't really have much to say about it, so enjoy!**

**(Oh, and unfortunately I still don't own anything you may recognize)**

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><p>Chapter 6 Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.<p>

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><p>Hermione reached out to take the letter from the elf, but Lucius was faster, snatching the letter from between her outstretched fingers and pointing his wand at it.<p>

Hermione opened her mouth to say something about it but then she realised he was only checking the letter for possible dangers. After about a minute he seemed to have run every test he could think of and handed it back to Hermione.

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><p>Hermione took the letter from him and opened it with shaking fingers. She had recognised the handwriting on the envelope. <em>How had she known where to find her?<em>

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><p><em>Dear Hermione<em>

_I am not sure if this letter will reach you because I am not sure you are residing at Malfoy Manor to begin with._  
><em>It's just a guess I made after Harry told me about George's story and about the letter you sent him and Ron. I am not entirely sure why but the Manor was the first thing that came to my mind.<em>

_If you are reading this than I am safe to say you are indeed at Malfoy Manor._

_(And it means that I might want to start paying more attention in divination-class)_  
><em>I am not sure what to think of that but I suppose it's not up to me to judge you for that.<em>

_The past months have been very hard without you 'mione!_  
><em>Especially on Harry and Ron.<em>

_After all you guys have been trough and all the people lost it was a massive blow for them when you disappeared. _

_At first we thought you had been abducted or killed by death-eaters on the run.  
>After your first letter we knew you where alive but that was pretty much it.<em>

_Harry and I got married on the 10__th__ of August and I really wish you could have been there. It was so an amazing event but both Harry and I missed you in it. And you where supposed to be my maid of honor! Of course Luna did a fine job in that, but it just wasn't the same._

__Ron is still sulking about the break-up so no matter who you've married he is going to see your husband as his worst enemy. Just giving you a heads-up.__

_Sweet Hermione, if you receive this letter, please, please, PLEASE write back! I miss you a lot and so does everyone else._

_Love, Ginny_

_P.s.:_

_Harry doesn't know I'm writing this letter. Nor does anyone else. They would have me admitted in a mental facility for thinking you're at Malfoy Manor out of your own free will_

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><p><em>Dear Ginny<em>

_No you do not need to be admitted at St Mungo's. Your suspicions are quite right and I am indeed residing at Malfoy Manor._

_Thank you for not judging me, I am very grateful for that._  
><em>I also want to ask you to not tell anyone else for now. It really hurts to keep everyone in the dark about my current life but it really is the best way right now.<em>

_My congratulations on your marriage. I am very happy for the both of you and I am more than convinced that you will have a blessed and happy life together. The two of you are simply meant to be._

_I am sorry to hear that Ron is not over the break-up. It only took two days before we where fighting all the time and we disagreed on practically everyting. It would have never worked out. I had hoped he would have realized that by now and moved on. I do care a great deal about him but we will never be more than friends._

_I miss you as well, more than I can say. I hope I will be able to introduce you to my daughter sometime. I suppose George told you about her?_

_Love, Hermione_

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><p>Hermione folded the letter, addressed it and handed it to Larry to be sent. She knew it was a risk to tell Ginny about her location but she knew she could trust the girl.<p>

Lucius had already left the room, granting Hermione some privacy to read the letter.

Hermione left the breakfast room and headed towards the nursery. Esmeraude was safe with Wizzy but Hermione didn't want to leave her in the care of others all day.

As she reached the room she wiped away a couple of stray tears from her cheeks. She had had to rewrite the letter to Ginny twice because her tears had stained the paper.

Now she entered the room, only to find it empty.

"Wizzy?" she said. A soft popping noise on her right indicated the elves arrival. "Wizzy, could you please tell me where Esmeraude is?"

"Yes Missus of course. The baby is being with Master."

"Ah, very well... Library again?"

"Yes Missus."

This was becoming ridiculous. If the man kept residing in the library he might as well put his bed in there. Really, she was the one known for practically living in a library and she really wasn't planning on giving up that reputation to her husband.

Hermione opened the library doors and stopped to watch the scene before her.

Lucius was not in his usual chair behind his desk but instead he sat in one of the armchairs that where in front of the fireplace. His robes where casually draped over the back of one of the other chairs, which left him in just a grey silk shirt and a pair of black trousers. In his right hand he held a book, keeping it at an arm's length distance. His left arm restrained the squirming girl in his lap. Esmeraude clearly didn't have patience for the children's tale he was reading to her.

Hermione decided she could make him suffer a bit longer and went to silently lean against the wall. She noticed he squinted his eyes a bit, that man really needed reading glasses, if only he wasn't so stubborn.  
>Hermione listened to the coper sound of Lucius' voice. She didn't understand how Esmeraude could get impatient with such a voice. She watched his strong chest move as he spoke.<p>

Oh she really had to stop this. they hadn't gotten married out of love and it was just silly to fall in love with the man now. _Wait...what!...love?_ Great, now she really had lost her mind. Yes she was attracted to the man, but seriously which witch wasn't? He had been a wizardingworld sex-symbol for longer than she existed. Few women would admit that these days, but she knew it to be true. No, she wasn't in love with him. But how was she going to explain that to her traitorous heart that had started to beat very fast?

Looking around she noticed the painting that hung next to the library doors. She had never paid it much attention but just now she swore she had seen movement. A flash of gold that had quickly left the picture frame. Hermione decided it was not that interesting. Lucius ancestors rarely ever stayed in their own frames. Although, Lucius _had_ spelled a couple of frames to make sure their inhabitants couldn't leave them. That had happened after a few very nasty incidents in which several paintings had shown similarities with the painting of Mrs. Black in Grimmauld place. Said paintings now resided in one of the dungeons underneath the Manor. Lucius didn't really like most of his ancestors. He had left them up because their portraits had never bothered him, but he would not have anyone verbally assaulting his wife.

Hermione turned her attention back to her daughter and husband. She had to stiffen a giggle at the scene that was now before her. Esmeraude had decided Lucius' silverblonde hair was way more interesting than his story. Her small fists had gotten a hold of the long ponytail that fell down over his left shoulder and just as Hermione had looked at them, she pulled.

"Ouch!" Lucius exclaimed. The babygirl giggled at that sound while Lucius tried to separate the little girls fingers from his hair.

"You think that's funny tiny witch?" he asked her. He sounded angry but the amusement in his eyes gave him away.

"Now Emeraude, you are not provoking your dad, are you?" Hermione said teasingly joining in as she walked up to the chair. She gave the girl a mocking-stern look and sat down on one of the armrests of the chair. A small part of her brain noticed the smell of her husband's aftershave and again she could feel her stomach fluttering.

"Now dear, I think you should treat our furniture with a little more respect. Why don't you take a seat of your own instead of harassing that poor chair's armrest?"

"Since when do you care about the well-being of furniture?" _oh that infuriating man!_

"Since this particular chair has been in my family for many generations, as has most of the other furniture in the Manor. I do not care about the well-being of other peoples furniture but this is _my _furniture."

"Our furniture" Hermione corrected him

Lucius crooked one eyebrow. "Watch what you say witch, one would think you are only in this marriage for the Malfoy money." He didn't sound angry, just...well...mocking. And a bit arrogant.

"If I remember correctly it was you who proposed to me. Whether Narcissa guilted you into it or not"

"Ah yes, and as always you do remember correctly. Smartest witch of your age, right?"

Hermione grinned at that remark. "Well considering the compensation payments the ministry is going to demand of you, I think I would've been foolish to marry you for money."

Now Lucius raised his other eyebrow as well. Suddenly Hermione worried she had gone to far. She remembered how Draco had always been bragging about his family's fortune. She cursed herself for being so tactless. Of course this was going to be a sensitive subject, The Malfoy family had been all about money for centuries.

But then Lucius started laughing. The sound echoed throughout the room and bounced of the walls.

Now it was Hermione's turn to raise her eyebrows. Lucius didn't seem able to catch enough breath to answer her unspoken question.  
>At last the laughter faded to snickers and then stopped. Lucius had to wipe his eyes, his face still slightly red from laughing. Hermione decided he looked better when he looked arrogant.<p>

"You really have no idea what you have gotten yourself into, do you?" Lucius asked.

"Please do enlighten me"

"My beautiful Hermione,Those payments have already been made. The ministry doesn't expect me to turn myself in, I think they're not even sure I'm still alive. So they demanded those payments from Draco when he turned himself in."

"So now you're broke."_ he had just called her beautiful!_ _No wait, focus. _"I don't care about money but I can't imagine you don't have a problem with being poor."

"Hermione, before those payments where made, our family was the richest family in wizarding Britain. I won't give you the details but let's just say... we still are."

Hermione could feel her jaw drop. That certainly wasn't possible. She knew the amounts of money the ministry was going to demand from the Malfoy family. It had been in The Daily Prophet in the weeks after the war.

Lucius snickered again. "Oh dear, it seems I have finally silenced my famous know-it-all. I think it must be pretty cold in hell."

"That's..that's...that's just impossible! I have read how much they asked. Nobody has that kind of money."

"Ah yes, that dreaded profit reported about it, didn't it? I have to say they where a bit off with their figures, it turned out to be more. However I have no intention to enlighten the ministry about my financial state, no doubt they'll demand everything once they find out."

Hermione felt all the remaining colour drain from her face. She couldn't even start to imagine how much money they where talking about.

"I think I should take advantage of your silence and leave our daughter in your care so I can resume to write my story down. Would you care to join me for dinner tonight?"

Hermione nodded, still lost for words. Lucius got up from his chair and handed the infant to his dumbstruck wife. He seemed to hesitate a moment, then he wiped a stray ringlet from her face and fleetingly kissed her on her forehead.

He walked over to his desk, grabbed one of the books he had been writing in and left the room, probably heading towards a different library.

After he had left, Hermione slowly moved from the armrest to the actual seat of the chair, cradling Esmeraude in her arms. Her right hand touched her forehead, her fingertips moving over the exact spot Lucius had kissed just moments earlier. She had lots to think about.

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><p><strong>AN: Now that was fun, wasn't it?**

**I'm not sure if anyone has noticed, but we've already spent 5 chapters on the same day. Next chapter will cover dinner. Don't worry, after that I'll make things speed up. I'm not going to spend 6 chapters on every day because if I did I'd need a few hundred chapters at least ;)**

**- Chapter's title was by William Wordsworth**

**Keep the reviews coming!**


	7. Chapter 7 A friend

**A/N: Hi guys! This chapter we'll finally see how the order responds to George's news.**

**Just a warning: This chapter will contain Ron bashing (I apologise to everyone who likes him, but it's my story after all.)**

**Unfortunately, anything you recognize is still not mine. It's all the amazing creation of J.K. Rowling**

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><p>Chapter 7 - A friend is one who walks in when others walk out.<p>

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><p><em>But you should know<em>  
><em>That Im on your side<br>I am on your side  
>Although it may seem useless<em>  
><em>I am on your side<em>

_Maria Mena- I am on your side_

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><p>Harry Potter was worried. After the news about Hermione, the remaining members of The Order of the Phoenix had been called to meeting. After her disappearance a lot of rumours had been going around. From the very first start he had protected Hermione and he knew he would keep doing so, but the events of that afternoon where surely not going to improve anything. <em>Oh Hermione, what have you gotten yourself into now?<em>

He raised is head as he heard Minerva McGonagall enter the kitchen. Minerva was not only the new headmistress of Hogwarts but also the new leader of the Order. She was the one who had decided on the meeting that evening but she looked just as frustrated as Harry felt.

"Minerva, you know Hermione would never..."

"I know Harry. I don't believe it either, not really. However, it is a rather suspicious situation and as leader of the order I can't just ignore the rumours."

"But that's all they are! Rumours!"

"Perhaps. However, if I just leave it be there will only be more rumours. We can't simply ignore this. Hermione is still a member of the Order, and she left so soon after the war...I understand why people find it suspicious."

Harry dragged his hands trough his hair, making it even messier than it already was. "Why doesn't anyone get it? The war is over. If Hermione wanted to leave us she had every right to do so. I won't say I like it but it's no reason to suspect her of god knows what."

McGonagall had no time to respond, because at that moment the remaining members of the order crowded the kitchen. It took a few minutes for everyone to take their seats and that gave Harry time to regain his composure and to see who had showed up.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley where seated next to George. They already knew what was going on but they hadn't said anything about it all day and so it wasn't clear to Harry what they thought about it. Ron was on George's other side, he looked absolutely furious, leaving no doubt as to what _he_ thought about the situation. Bill was on the opposite side of the table, he seemed to be in an argument with the new minister of magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt. Harry was curious to what the men disagreed on but they where whispering, making it impossible for Harry to tell what they where saying. Fleur had stayed home, she was five months pregnant and suffered from back pains and headaches. Fleur was not the only person missing today. After the war Charlie had gone back to Romania to work with the dragons. To no-one's surprise, Mundungus Fletcher wasn't there either. However, there where also a couple of new members in the order. Luna and Neville where on the far end of the table. Neville looked happier than Harry had ever seen him. The boy had been ecstatic when he found out about Luna's pregnancy and had been glowing ever since. He had taken on an apprenticeship with professor Sprout and He and Luna lived in a small house in Hogsmeade from where Luna now published the Quibbler. An other addition to the Order was Percy Weasley. Percy had abandoned his family before they'd had a chance to introduce him into the order but now he was back at his family's side he had become a member just like the rest of them.

Once everyone was seated Minerva opened the meeting. "Good evening everyone. As some of you already know, we are all gathered here this evening because there is new information about our missing member, Hermione."

Immediately the energy of the room changed into an anxious excitement. Low murmuring could be heard as the members that hadn't known why they where called to Grimmauld place started asking questions.

"What?"

"Is she alive?"

"Where is she?"

"Is she here?"

"What's she been up to?"

"People, please calm down!" Minerva interrupted the noise. "Hermione has been spotted this morning, in Diagon Ally. I would tell you about it but I think it's best if George tells you about it. He is the one who spotted her."

"What, George, you've seen Hermione Granger?" Percy asked, he sounded a bit annoyed because no-one had told him."

"Well, I am not sure she's still a Granger" George responded. By the the time he had finished his story, everyone, apart from those who had already known, looked dumbstruck. Ron looked plain furious.

"I knew it, I just knew it! That bitch changed sides!" He yelled out.

"Ronald!" Molly yelled in shock.

"Ron!" Harry bellowed at the exact same time. The anger he had felt when he first got Hermione's letter had faded completely and now his anger was directed at Ron. "Ron, I'm sorry mate but that just doesn't make any sense. Why would she change sides after the war? She worked so hard for our side, she fought on our side!"

"And she disappeared within two weeks after the final battle! Bit suspicious don't you think?"

"No, I don't think that's suspicious! I..."

He was cut off by Kingsley's deep voice. "Harry. As much as I would have liked it to be different, I think Ron has a point here. Why would Hermione disappear so shortly after the war ended? She could have gotten everything she ever dreamt of and yet she left. There must be a reason for that. It seems unlikely she changed sides after the war, but perhaps she was already..."

"NO! No, what are you guys going on about, this is Hermione we're speaking off. Our Hermione. And she is a muggleborn for Merlin's sake!"

"She wouldn't be the first Harry. I know it doesn't seem like her, but we don't know how long she's been playing this game. Maybe she's been fooling us all for years."

"You're acting as if there is any proof! And there isn't, other than the fact that she has left. There could be a million reasons for that!"

"Harry" Mrs. Weasley said, pleading.

"NO! I'm sick of you guys trying to talk sense into me, you are the ones that don't make sense! I refuse to listen to this! I refuse to listen to you guys talking about Hermione as if she..as if...Argh!" With that Harry left the room. He could feel his anger flaring inside him. If he hadn't left he would've probably hexed someone. How could they think Hermione would so such a thing? How dare they talk about her in that way, after all she had done for them.

"_but maybe." _the little voice in his head said before Harry had a chance to shut it up. _"Maybe something is going on."_

Harry shook his head, effectively making the voice shut up. Hermione had always been there for him. She had always picked his side, even when Ron hadn't. Now Harry, would do de same for her. He would stand by Hermione, no matter what.

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><p>That night, after she had put Esmeraude to bed, Hermione went back to her rooms to get ready for dinner. She had finally gotten to terms with the fact that her husband was apparently the richest wizard in Britain. It was not as if she cared much about how much money someone had, but the amounts they where now talking about had to be simply ridiculous.<p>

Opening her walk-in closet she quickly went trough the numerous dresses that where in it. After she and Lucius had gotten married and officially adopted Esmeraude, Lucius had insisted on buying her an entire new wardrobe. Claiming that 'if she was a Malfoy she would have to dress like one'.

Hermione had agreed on buying new clothes. She hadn't been able to take any of her old clothes with her to the manor so she needed new ones anyway. However, the shoppingtrip that had followed had simply been ridiculous.

Lucius didn't specifically like shopping but he did have a great, even if slightly expensive, taste in clothes. And he had enjoyed the fact that they had been in France and that he could walk out in the open without a to high risk of being arrested.

Within two hours Hermione was the proud owner of entire new wardrobe, which contained at least 30 dresses and the same amount of cloaks and robes. She had also insisted on buying muggle clothes. It was not that she hated to wear wizardingrobes, but she _did_ think that muggle clothes where way more comfortable and easier to move in.

Lucius had agreed on buying her muggle clothes, on the one condition that he could pick the brands. Hermione, who had assumed that Lucius Malfoy wouldn't know any muggle clothingbrands anyway, had agreed to that. Well that had been a mistake!

Within an hour she had found herself in the middle of a Chanel-store with three store attendants fussing over her. A fourth was talking to Lucius in rapid French, batting her eyelashes so fast it seemed as if she had a twitch. Hermione had had to admit that her French was not sufficient for this kind of shopping and so Lucius did the talking for her. Unfortunately that also meant that he was the one to direct the store-attendants.

After she had been put on one dress after the other she felt like a live Barbie-doll and her hair was a complete disaster. She was quickly running out of patience.

It took _a lot _of debating and arguing but eventually Lucius accepted that Hermione couldn't wear ridiculously expensive dresses _all_the time and so he also bought her a few pairs of jeans and some more casual muggle-clothes. Something that had made Hermione incredibly happy.

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><p>Right now Hermione picked a simple black pencil dress. The smooth fabric came down to her knees. The neck was to high to be sexy but at least it covered the scars on her chest. She decided to leave her hair down, to lazy to do anything with it. Hermione slipped her heels back on and walked trough her rooms towards the nursery to check on Esmeraude once more. The little girl was sound asleep, her tiny lips in an adorable pout. Hermione couldn't help but smile at the peaceful scene. She couldn't believe that in an environment filled with so much hatred, something so beautiful and innocent could have been created. She left the room, making sure to close the door with as little sound as possible. Then she called for Wizzy and asked the elf to keep an eye on Esmeraude.<p>

Hermione walked down the hallway, submerged in her own thought. She didn't hurry, dinner wouldn't be served for an other fifteen minutes.

"Well, good evening Hermione"

"Good evening Narcissa. What brings you here?"

Hermione and Narcissa's portrait where on a first-name basis. It was not as if they spoke very often, but the moments they had shared during Narcissa's life had been rather intense. And besides, it would be awkward to address each-other with Mrs. Malfoy.

Hermione was curious as to why the woman had ventured towards this part of the manor. She knew for a fact that Narcissa's painting hung two floors higher and the woman usually kept to herself.

"Actually I was looking for you dear. Can we have a word?"

"Well, I am supposed to meet Lucius for dinner in fifteen minutes so I do have a bit of time."

"Thank you. We could move to my old sitting-room down the hall if you want to. For me it doesn't matter but standing in a drafty hallway can't be to comfortable for you."

"Yes that would be nice, thank you."

Narcissa Nalfoy disappeared in one frame only to show up in the next one, Politely making apologies to their inhabitants. Hermione followed. Narcissa reached the last frame and disappeared, Hermione assumed that meant the door next to the last frame was the sitting-room. She opened the door and entered. Narcissa was elegantly leaning against the side of a very large frame that hung above an enormous fireplace. The old wizard who inhabited the frame was sound asleep and didn't seem to notice.

"Please sit down." _Even as a portrait that woman didn't forget her manners. _

"Thank you." Hermione sat down in the large armchair that was directly facing the fireplace and portrait. She noticed several doors. "These are private rooms?" she asked, curiously.

"Yes, but they're empty now, a shame really. They have the most amazing bathroom."

"Who did they belong to?"

"In life, these where my rooms."

"Your rooms?" Hermione asked, surprised. She knew for a fact that Lucius' rooms where located in the east wing, on the other side of the manor.

"You sound surprised?"

"Well yes, I would have thought you and Lucius shared rooms."

"We did, for a while. I moved here after Draco was conceived."

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Why? Lucius didn't make you move, did he?"

Narcissa smiled "I keep forgetting how little you know about our previous life. But to answer you question; No, Lucius did not make me move. It was my own decision. I was betrothed to Lucius from the crib and even though I cared a great deal about my husband my heart belonged to someone else. Lucius and I have always been more like brother and sister."

"Lucius never minded that you where with someone else?" Hermione was surprised, she would've thought that Lucius was to possessive to allow his wife to have an affair.

Narcissa gave her a sad smile. "I was in love with someone who's heart was already taken as well, we have never been together. Although I don't think Lucius would've minded if anything had happened. He has always been faithful to me, but he would have understood. He cared a great deal about my happiness."

"Who was it?" Hermione asked as her curiosity got the better of her.

"I don't think it matters any more." Narcissa fell silent, she looked as if she was on the brim of crying. _Could portraits cry?_

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Hermione quickly asked, trying to change the subject.

Narcissa kept quiet for a few more seconds, trying to regain her composure. "Actually, I wanted to talk about Lucius."

"About Lucius? Why?"

"Well, I saw you looking at him earlier today in the library."

Once again Hermione felt herself blush. "I knew I saw something move in that portrait!"

"And I thought I was being so careful! Oh well, nothing to do about that now. Anyway, I wanted to ask you what you're going to do about the situation?"

"To be honest, I don't really think there is a situation. Lucius would never be attracted to someone like me."

"Oh sweetheart, you should really give yourself more credit. You should see the way he looks at you when he thinks no-one notices!"

"Really?"

"Really. Give it a chance Hermione."

"I am not sure I can." Hermione said quietly. She looked down at her muggle watch. "I should go, dinner should be served any moment now. I am sorry" She hastily got up.

"Hermione!" Narcissa called after her.

"Yes?"

"Would you have time to have a proper chat sometime? Tomorrow around tea-time perhaps?"

Hermione felt reluctant. She liked Narcissa but their conversation had taken her out of her comfortzone.

"Yes, of course." she answered, deciding it would be rude to refuse.

"Thank you."

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yes. Tomorrow."

Narcissa watched the girl leave. She could only hope her plan would work. Both Lucius and Hermione deserved to be happy.

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><p><strong>AN: Again, I am sorry for the Ron bashing. Please remember that in the books he has always been a bit unreasonable and he gets angry quite fast. I tried to be nicer to him but that only made him seem very much out of character. I'll try to make him turn around eventually but only if it works with the story.**

**Next chapter we'll see Hermione's conversation with Narcissa. (A meddling portrait, o dear)**

**Please keep reviewing! I know you guys are out there but last chapter didn't get that many reviews. This is my first story and I have to admit that I find it hard to write if I am not sure if I'm on the right track.**


	8. Chapter 8 the pain of the mind

**A/N: A big thanks to everyone for their amazing reviews! They where very reassuring and I really needed them. Please keep them coming!**

**I am sorry if you have reviewed and I haven't replied to it. I usually reply to each and every review (if not made anonymous) but for some reason I don't receive emails from FF any more. I am not entirely sure why, so if anyone has an idea why this might be, please let me know! (It's not blocked in my email and all my settings on FF seem to be okay, I already checked that)**

**I know I have promised some of you that this chapter would be up last week but I had to rewrite the conversation between Hermione and Narcissa several times because it refused to work. Sorry about that.**

**As usual, nothing you recognise is mine – pitty.**

**Now, on with the story! - Enjoy!**

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><p>WARNING: this chapter contains mentions of rape (no actual scenes!)<p>

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><p>Chapter 8 - The pain of the mind is worse than the pain of the body<p>

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><p>Hermione stood on the balcony of her second floor rooms. She looked out over the grand yard. The terrain around the Manor was so large that she couldn't exactly see where it ended. This morning it had stopped snowing and so the air was clear. Snow still covered the grounds. The air was still freezing, making Hermione shiver as she nervously took a drag of her cigarette. She wasn't supposed to meet with Narcissa's portrait until later that day but already she was a bit nervous.<p>

She liked Narcissa but she definitely didn't like the meddling. Hermione had gotten into the marriage knowing it wouldn't last long. Why didn't Narcissa understand that Hermione _couldn't _allow herself to have feelings for Lucius? She had lost so much already, Hermione wasn't sure she could take an other loss. She already knew that Lucius wasn't the villain she had always taken him for,_ at least not anymore_. However, she had to admit that she didn't know much about the man. She had never bothered to ask him anything about his motivations to join the ranks of you-know-who, nor about anything else.

Yes they politely interacted when they had meals, but apart from that they kept to themselves. Hermione wouldn't even call it friendship. It was easier that way. Why getting attached to each-other only to loose?

Somewhere in the distance, Hermione could see a small lake. The water had frozen solid and was covered with snow. A shame really, as snow would've turned the ice weak and bumpy. she wouldn't have minded to go ice-skating there but because of to the snow that was now impossible.

On the far end of the lake she could see pale flat rocks sticking out of the ground. The where covered in snow as well; The Malfoy cemetery. Hermione had never been that far on the grounds. She knew it had to be where Narcissa's body had been buried, but she hadn't been there for the event. Hermione had been injured at the time, and Lucius had insisted that she wasn't well enough to go outside. Hermione suspected that he had just wanted to say goodbye to his wife in private and so she hadn't argued.

Hermione took a last drag of her cigarette and then went back inside. Esmeraude would wake up from her afternoon nap in about half an hour and she hoped she'd be able to read a few pages of her novel before that happened. She walked trough her living-room and into the kitchen.

Her rooms where very much like a small house, including not only a living-room and a kitchen but also two bedrooms, a nursery, an office and two bathrooms. At first the elves had been offended when Hermione had insisted to have her own kitchen, seeing it as an insult to their cooking. Fortunately they had come around when she promised them that she wouldn't actually cook in there. And so Hermione only used her kitchen to make herself a cup of tea once in a while, or to bake, as relaxation. After she had put the kettle on the stove she took a quick glance in the mirror that was on one of the walls. She groaned as she saw how tired she looked. During the days she felt remotely well, distracting herself with caring for Esmeraude and attempting to read as much as she could. But no matter how hard she tried to distract herself during the day, it didn't keep the nightmares away at night.

The whistle sounded and Hermione went back to the stove to prepare herself a cup of tea. After she had done that settled in one of the large leather seats and picked up the book that she had been reading.

After about fifteen minutes Hermione heard a small **Pop**, indicating the arrival of one of the house-elves.

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><p>On the other side of the Manor, Lucius was, once again, seated in the library. His long hair was loose and a bit messy because he kept dragging his fingers trough it. writing his memoires was a difficult task as it made him relive every terrible moment of his past. There was so much he regretted, so many faces haunting him in his sleep.<br>However, right now he was not writing about what he had done wrong, but about what had happened to him. He didn't write it to get sympathy, Merlin knew he didn't deserve it after everything he had done wrong. He wrote it because he had decided he wanted to keep his journals as accurate as possible, and that would also include scenes like this.

He vividly remembered the first time it had happened. It had been shortly after he had joined the ranks of you-know-who. That specific night, after the meeting, someone had brought in a muggle girl. The girl couldn't have been older than fifteen and had literally been shaking with fear. Lucius had known what his master expected him to do, but the mere thought of it had been so repulsing to him that he had not been able to do it, his body refused. And so you-know-who had simply killed the girl and forced Lucius to take her place.

Contrary to popular believe, Lucius had not been a very respected member of the death-eaters. His high status in the rest of the wizarding world actually caused most of the others to dislike him, mainly out of spite and jealousy. They liked to see him suffer, and so after that first event, rape had been you-know-who's main punishment for Lucius.

Lucius was so absorbed in his terrible memories that he didn't realise he was being watched. From the portrait-frame next to the door, Narcissa was watching the man that she had shared more than half her life with. Her face was worried, it hurt her to watch her former husband struggle with the demons from his past. It also made her more convinced that the conversation she would have with Hermione later that day was absolutely necessary. She could only hope that the girl would listen.

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><p>Hermione had moved from her chair to her kitchentable, enjoying yet an other cup of tea that she had just made. Esmeraude sat in her cot.<p>

There was a cot in every one of Hermione's rooms. The girl was being terribly spoiled but apparently if you where being raised by the richest family of wizarding England that was okay. Well according to Lucius that was. The girl had him completely wrapped around her little fingers.

"What are you doing?" Hermione smiled at the girl.

Ofcourse she didn't get an answer, the girl was already babbling a lot of nonsense but she hadn't actually started talking yet. Instead Esmeraude continued to reach for the top of the cot. She grabbed one of the bars and tried to pull herself up. Finally she gave up, sat back down and decided to start wailing instead.

"Aww, that's okay honey. Rome wasn't build in one day. Just keep practicing."

There was more wailing. Hermione sighed, put down the novel she had been reading and walked over to the cot. She picked her daughter up. Immediately the girl stopped crying and reached to grab Hermione's brown curls.

"Ouch! Seriously girl, what is your obsession with hair?" She laughed at Esmeraude. She supported the girl's weight on her left arm while releasing her hair from the girl's clenched fist with her right.

Then she sat back down and put the girl on her lap. She grabbed her hair and put it safely in a bun on the back of her head, securing it with one of the two hair ties that had been around her wrist.

Esmeraude was happily babbling now, her earlier frustration already forgotten. Hermione liked the 'conversations' she had with her daughter. She thought it was adorable when she would ask questions and the girl would reply, even if she couldn't make heads or tails of what she said.

On the kitchen-table was the letter that Lary had brought her earlier that day. Again it had been from Ginny. There was a blanc piece of parchment and a quill next to it but Hermione hadn't yet found the courage to reply. She couldn't really tell Ginny much and she felt guilty about that.

For just a few seconds Hermione was subtracted from their conversation but that was enough for Esmeraude to get annoyed because she was not having the full attention. "Momma!" the girl squealed, trying to drag Hermione's attention back to herself. Hermione gasped and stared at her daughter with big eyes. "Did you just call me momma?" she asked, amazement showing in her voice.

"Mommamommamomma" Esmeraude happily chanted. She wasn't fully aware of what she said but she was happy with the amount of reaction she got from her mother. Hermione hugged the girl to her chest, happy tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes. Esmeraude had said her first word! And it had been momma! Hermione felt pride swelling in her chest, she had never felt more like a mother than at that moment.

For the second time that day a house-elf appeared in Hermione's room. Hermione was so absorbed in the moment that she didn't even notice it.

"Missus?" The elf asked nervously.

Hermione was startled by the sound and reached for the wand that was tucked in her sleeve before she realised it was Wizzy talking to her.

"I is sorry for interrupting you Missus! You asked me to come here for tea-time to take care of young miss Malfoy."

"Ah yes, I am sorry, I must have lost track of time." Hermione answered. Immediately feeling her earlier nervousness crawling up on her. She hugged Esmeraude one more time before placing her on the play rug that was on the floor. "I guess I'll be leaving now. I suspect everything will be okay but if you have any problems please come and get me."

"Yes Missus, Wizzy will take good care of Little miss Malfoy." The elf said, before settling on the floor next to the play rug.

Hermione checked her appearance in the mirror one lest time, just to make sure her hair was not sticking out in ridiculous ways. Then she left for her conversation with Narcissa.

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><p>Upon entering the sitting-room Hermione noticed a few things. First was that Narcissa was already there, patiently waiting for her. The old wizard, that had inhabited the painting above the marble fireplace yesterday, had left and so Narcissa was sitting in his chair rather than standing in front of it. The Second thing Hermione noticed was the tray which held an assortment of drinks and a few plates of fingerfood. She figured that Narcissa must have asked a house-elf to bring them. It made one thing apparent; this wasn't going to be a short conversation.<p>

"Thank you for coming Hermione, it really means a lot to me."

"Ofcourse I came, I promised I would, didn't I?"

"That's true, but I wanted to thank you anyway."

They fell silent for a few seconds. Now that Hermione was closer to the portrait she could see just how sad Narcissa looked.

"So, you wanted to talk about Lucius?" Hermione said, trying to break the silence and at the same time attempting to get to the point. She was curious to what Narcissa wanted to tell her.

"Yes dear, yesterday's conversation made me realise just how little you know about him, about the world we lived in. I feel we should change that. You are his wife after all"

Did Hermione imagine it or did the woman just wink at her?

"No offence Narcissa, but why do you think that that's necessary? You must surely know that this marriage won't last forever."

"Ah yes, Lucius' noble plan to turn himself in."

"You don't believe in it? But you said..."

"I know what I said. I might not like it, but Lucius is a very head-strong man and if this is what he thinks is right then I won't be able to say anything to stop him."

"But you don't agree with him?"

"It's difficult. I understand why he wants to do it. He has done terrible things in the past, I will be the last person to deny that. Lucius hopes to set some of the things right by turning himself in and by making his story public. He feels remorse, and I understand that, I really do. However, I think he has suffered enough already. If he truly turns himself in they will surely let him fade away in Azkaban...Or worse..." Narcissa shivered, unable to finish her sentence.

Hermione chewed her lip. She didn't really know how to respond and so instead she reached over to the tray on the table and pored herself a cup of tea.

"You might want to spike that with a bit of fire-whiskey" Narcissa said, having found her voice again. "Lucius' story isn't a happy one."

Hermione did as she was told, adding a little bit of the amber liquid to her tea. She usually didn't drink, apart from the occasional glass of wine during diner, but if Narcissa thought she needed it she was probably right.

"Okay. So what do you already know?"

"Not much actually. I know you and Lucius got married after you graduated and that the both of you joined the death-eaters soon after, but that's pretty much it."

"I see. Well that much is true. As I told you yesterday Lucius and I where betrothed to each-other from the crib. We both come from long lines of pure-blood wizards. To make sure those families stay that way they arrange most of their marriages. Both me and my sisters where promised to other families before we could even walk."

"Who was Andromeda supposed to marry?" Hermione asked, not able to contain her everlasting curiosity. Then she clasped her hand over her mouth, realizing that Narcissa's lost sister might be a sensitive subject.

"She was promised to Evan Rosier. I suppose she was lucky to run off before they could actually force her to marry that man. I remember being terrified that they might give me to him after she ran off. Thankfully they didn't do that. They burned my sister of the carpet and never spoke of her again. But to be honest...I understood why she did it. Evan Rosier was a very nasty man.

"Did you ever speak to your sister after that?"

"No. I know it seems foolish now, but back then I was just to afraid. After she left, my father wanted to have her assassinated for harming the family name. It was quite the scandal within the pure-blood circles you know. Eventually our mother managed to persuade him not to do that. She was a very gentle woman, my mother. I am still not sure how she managed to make my father change his mind. He was a very ruthless man. Completely obsessed with the purity of blood and the honour of the family. Anyway, he made it quite clear that any mention of Andromeda was strictly prohibited. I was to afraid to go against it."

Hermione took a sip of her tea, closing her eyes as she felt the fire-whiskey burning it's way down. "Why didn't you restore contact after he died?" She asked.

"I have thought about that, more then once actually. But it truly wasn't that easy. By then we hadn't had any contact in years and we where both on complete opposite sides of the war. And of course there was Bella. She thought my parents weak for allowing my sister to even live, she would have had my skin if she ever found out I tried to restore contact. I have always been afraid of her, even as a child. It must sound ridiculous, being afraid of your own sister, but it's the truth."

"That doesn't sound ridiculous. I won't say I really knew her but from what I have seen of her she _was _terrifying."

Narcissa smiled at that. "I am truly sorry that I have never been able to set things right before my death. I can only hope that she will one day forgive me."

Hermione didn't know exactly what to say, she wanted to reassure Narcissa but she didn't want to give her false hope. "I have met her during the war. She is a very kind woman."

"You are right, she is a kind woman, she always has been. I am so sorry she lost her husband and daughter during the war. She really didn't deserve that."

"No" Hermione said, "she didn't." Again there was a silence as both women where submerged in their own thoughts. Hermione took an other sip of tea and reached to grab a cucumber sandwich. Narcissa absent-mindedly braided her painted hair.

"Anyway, our parents where very close. Our fathers met several times a month for business and I remember my mother having tea with Lucius' mother several times a week. Lucius and I practically grew up together. Even as a child I knew I would one day marry him, and I never minded that. We got along. As I already told you, we have never been in love, but we have always been like brother and sister. It was more than most people in arranged marriages could wish for."

"Still it's pretty sad that you had to marry someone you didn't love."

"You did the same." Narcissa replied, raising her eyebrows.

Hermione shook her head. "That's different."

"Is it?"

"Yes, I might not have married Lucius out of love but at least it was my own choice."

"I had a choice as well. I could have done the same as Andromeda and make a run for it. I stayed because I thought it was the right thing to do. Just like you."

"How was it the right thing to do?"

"My mother had already lost one daughter, losing an other one would have devastated her. I couldn't do that to her."

"So you married him, knowing on which side of the war you would end up, simply not to hurt your mother?"

Narcissa took a few seconds to formulate her reply to that. "Hermione. You have to understand that we, just like so many other generations of pure-blood wizards, where raised with the beliefs that muggles are foul and dangerous. We where young, we didn't know any better. Of course I knew on which side of the war I would end up, although I don't think we fully realised what that war would involve."

"How can you say you didn't know what to expect? You took the mark!"

"Things where different back than. In those days the dark lord wasn't quite as insane as he was during the second war. He was cruel and obsessed, yes, but we where all on the same side, we had the same mindset. He openly preached what our families had been whispering for centuries, what we believed in. It was a relief to most of us that there was finally someone who did something about it. And he was persuasive. Young people like to rebel and that's what we felt like we where doing. In our eyes he was our rebel-leader. In the beginning Lucius and I mostly helped by giving money and by propaganda. 'planting the seed' in other peoples mind, so to say. Only after we joined the inner circle we realised what was really going on. By then there was no going back."

Hermione opened her mouth to argue but Narcissa quickly continued her story. "I know what you must think, I'm trying to talk things right that can not be talked right, and perhaps that's true." She sighed, combing with her fingers through her long hair, unbraiding it again. "We both did terrible things, ended a lot of lives. Those are things that we can never change. Lucius will always have to live with that and I...well I can only imagine where my soul must have gone once it passed trough the veil."

That statement made Hermione's stomach turn. She had been raised a Christian and she could exactly imagine what was going trough the mind of the woman in front of her. "I don't think you need to worry. What you did for Harry in the end changed the entire course of the war, you saved a lot of lives as well."

In all honesty, Herrmione had mostly said this to reassure Narcissa, but once the words had left her mouth she knew what she said was true. Narcissa probably needn't worry.

The dark despair that had clouded Narcissa's eyes seemed to lift a bit. Her eyes bored in Hermione's, searching for reassurance. She reminded Hermione of a drowning person trying to grab a lifebuoy that had been tossed at her.

"I hope you are right."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course. That's why we are here."

"Why didn't you leave the ranks?" Hermione asked, every last trace of shyness leaving her mind.

"Would you have left, if you would have risked so much? I would have put the life of the ones I loved in incredible danger. Draco and Lucius would've been punished severely. The dark lord probably would have killed them without a second thought. Just to set an example. It has happened before. And You-know-who was able to track every death-eater down trough their marks.

I know now that Lucius doubted the dark lord's ways as well, but I didn't realise it at the time. He always did what he was asked, without questioning. At that point Lucius never let his mask down anymore, not even with me. Only now that I'm able to observe him without him knowing it I've started to realise how much he suffers from the things he has done. He's been having a lot of nightmares, he's been talking in his sleep, and well, he just looks terrible in general."

"Why didn't he tell you?"

"I suspect it was to protect Draco and me. We both played a dangerous game and even the tiniest mistake could have been fatal. If you-know-who even suspected us to be unloyal it would surely have meant death for the both of us. However, I do wish I had known at that point that Lucius felt the same. Maybe we could have gone to the order. We could have spied for them, like Severus did. We could have saved a lot of lives.

Draco wouldn't have minded. He might have pretended as if he liked what he did, but he never belonged within the ranks. After he took the mark he cried for weeks at moments when he thought I didn't see it. And now my baby is in Azkaban for something he never truly wanted to do."

Narcissa's voice hitched, she sounded as if she might burst into tears at any moment.

"I was terrified I'd lose him but there was nothing I could do for him." Narcissa continued in the same strained voice. "He was marked. The dark lord would have found him and us within moments, had we left."

Narcissa covered her face in her hands, sobbing tearless.

Hermione kept quiet. She had noticed how Narcissa's talking had turned into rambling as her emotions peaked. She had never seen Narcissa this way. Hermione wanted to hug her, but obviously hugging a painting was ridiculous and impossible. And so instead she gulped the last bit of her tea down and nibbled on an other sandwhich.

Eventually Narcissa seemed to grab herself together and turned to face Hermione once more. "I am sorry you had to see this. There is no use in throwing myself a 'pityparty' as they say. I have told you what I wished to tell you. I truly hope your view on Lucius is a bit more positive now. Obviously there is much more I could tell you but it would take far too long to tell you everything.  
>Now, I will take my leave, otherwise you'll miss your dinner appointment with Lucius. If you ever want to know anything you only have to come and find me."<p>

"I will. Thank you for telling me this Narcissa."

"No Hermione, thank you for listening. Please consider giving Lucius a chance. You might be his last hope."

With that Narcissa left. Leaving Hermione, once again, with a lot to think about.

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><p><strong>AN: Well, that was quite the chapter, wasn't it? I hope you all enjoyed it.**

**Unfortunately I still haven't been able to capture a Beta (apparently they are a very rare specimen) so any mistakes are still mine.**

**Please keep the reviews coming! They make me so incredibly happy. I'll make sure to check FF so I can reply to all of them once more. **

"**The pain of the mind is worse than the pain of the body"**** - ****Publilius Syrus**

**-LoversCure-**


	9. Chapter 9 How we need an other soul

_A/N: Hi guys! Once again - a big thanks to everyone who has taken the time to review last chapter! I can't tell you how much it means to me._

_I'm sorry it took longer than usual for me to post this chapter. My life has been a complete mess for the past few weeks and on top of that (or because of that?) I got sick. Anyway, it caused me to have a writers-block the size of an elephant dancing trough my living-room._

_Hopefully you guys can forgive me. I promise next chapter won't take this long._

_In this chapter we'll finally see our favourite couple in action once again!_

_I'll be playing a bit with p.o.v.'s (it's my story, so I get to experiment :p) Please let me know what you think!_

_Enjoy!_

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><p>Chapter 9 - How we need another soul to cling to.<p>

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><p>Lucius was in his rooms, standing in front of the enormous mirror, attacking his silky blonde hair with a comb. His long hair was so straight that it usually didn't get tangled, but lately it seemed to happen more often. Lucius knew what caused it, he was fully aware that he tended to mess with it during his writing. Lucius groaned as he located several more knots throughout the soft strands and continued to drag the comb down, ignoring the pain that that less than careful approach caused.<p>

After he was finished, Lucius tied his hair back with a black ribbon and went to pick himself an outfit for dinner. He picked dark blue robes. Lucius rarely ever wore anything but black or green. However, after a glance in the mirror, he had to admit that this specific colour of deep blue didn't look to bad.

He also had to admit that he was very much in need of a shave. Dark stubble covered his chin and cheeks.

Lucius glanced at the old mantel-piece clock. He had ten more minutes before he was supposed to meet Hermione for dinner. He knew it was barely enough time to shave and he hated to make her wait, but he just didn't want her to see him like this. If he started to neglect his appearance she would probably just start to worry about him, bloody Gryffindors.

Hermione was already sitting at the dining table as Lucius entered the room. The girl had to be thinking about something. She was so submerged in her own thoughts that she didn't even look up as Lucius entered. Lucius had to admit she looked lovely. She was wearing a simple grey pencil dress that Lucius remembered buying when they where in Paris. The woollen dress might have looked cold and professional on anyone else but it hugged Hermione's body so perfectly that it seemed anything but cold and professional on her. Actually, Lucius thought he could feel the temperature in the room rising as he looked at her.

He couched softly, trying to make the girl aware of his presence without startling her. It worked, Hermione's head shot up and she smiled at him.

Was it just him or had something changed in the way she looked at him? Before, she had always looked at him with friendly politeness. He had been able to see that she cared, to a certain extend, but she had never seemed to take any actual interest in his person. Right now her eyes where warmer, and they seemed to hold a strange curiosity that hadn't been there before. _Lucius! Stop thinking nonsense. Have you really been alone for that long? How could you possibly see something like that in her eyes?_ He scolded himself.

"You are late." Hermione stated matter of factly.

"I know, I am sorry." Lucius replied.

"I'll forgive you. Just this once." Hermione said as she watched Lucius taking his seat.

"Thank you for your kindness." Lucius said, before winking at her. "So how was your day?" He inquired as he reached for the tumbler filled with red wine that had appeared on the table.

"It was fine." the girl across the table answered, she seemed to be a bit aloof. As if she didn't really wanted to talk about her day. "I guess there is no need for me to ask you about your day?"

"No." Lucius smiled. "My day was much like any other day. Wine?"

"Yes please." Hermione said as she went to put food on her plate.

Lucius pored two glasses of the red wine, handing one to Hermione. He swirled the wine around in his own glass and sniffed it. Than he took a small sip, savouring the rich taste. For a moment he closed his eyes, forgetting everything around him. "Now that's what I call a good Bordeaux." He said, opening his eyes again.

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><p>Hermione watched her husband. The man had his eyes closed and was clearly enjoying the wine he had just pored for the two of them. After her conversation with Narcissa she didn't know what to think about Lucius. And so she decided to simply look at him, really look at him. And see what her own conclusions on the man would be.<p>

Now that he had his eyes closed Hermione felt safe to study his face without being caught. Right now he seemed relaxed, but even now she could see the worry lines that had formed on his face in the past couple of years. It made him look older. Or actually – it made him look closer to his own age. He still looked ridiculously good for his age though. An other thing she noticed where the dark circles under his eyes. They confirmed what Narcissa had said about Lucius having nightmares.

Before Hermione could examine his face any more Lucius opened his eyes again. "Now that's what I call a good Bordeaux."

"Do you have anything but fine wines?"

"Well, no. However this one truly is amazing. Go on, try it."

Hermione did as she was told and took a sip as well. She didn't know much about wine but she understood what Lucius meant. The drink had a rich flavour but wasn't to present. It was just right.

"Very nice, indeed." Hermione admitted.

Lucius crooked his eyebrow. "You have no idea what you're talking about, do you?"

"Then why did you ask?" Hermione asked, feeling a blush creep to her cheeks.

"For no reason in particular."

"_Prick"_ Hermione said under her breath.

"I'm sorry dear, what was that?"

"Nothing, nothing" Hermione said. She hadn't meant for him to hear it, but she didn't really mind that he had.

For the next fifteen minutes they focussed on their dinner and sipped their wine. It was a comfortable silence. Every few minutes Hermione would glance up to study Lucius. Every few minutes Lucius pretended not to notice, before glancing up himself to study his wife's face as well.

Lucius was the first to break the silence. "So how was Esmeraude doing today?"

"Great." Hermione replied. Her face started to shine as she continued. "She actually said her first word."

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><p>Lucius was in his element. He cherished these stolen moments of happiness. Good food, good wine, and especially; good company. At these moments he almost felt as if everything was normal. He could put his mind of all the horrors that where in it and just enjoy family life. He knew it wasn't real. A man – <em>A broken man, he could admit that to himself now<em> – having dinner with his beautiful wife – _who had not married him out of love and who didn't share his bed- _and a small child sleeping upstairs -_a child who wasn't his or his wife's-. _It was far from perfect, but it was still much more than he deserved. And so he cherished it.

"So how was Esmeraude doing today?" Lucius inquired. He was very fond of the babygirl who he saw as his own child.

"Great." Hermione replied. Lucius saw her face lighting up. _Merlin she's beautiful. _"She actually said her first word"

"She did?" He asked, amazed. He kept forgetting how fast small children grew up. It had been the same with Draco. When Draco was born he had been so busy with the death-eaters, the family business and the ministry that he had barely been there during the boy's first year. And now his son was in Azkaban and he was, again, missing all the important moments of a small child that carried his name. "What was it?"

"She said momma!" Hermione exclaimed happily. She started talking rapidly about how she had been wondering when Esmeraude would start talking and about how she herself had been speaking full sentences at one year old. _Of course she had. _Lucius slowly zoned out, thinking about Draco and Narcissa. The guilt that he usually only felt at night came flooding in. _No, Lucius! Snap out of it. This is not the time nor place to have a breakdown._ He took a deep breath and pulled himself together again, making a mental note to visit Narcissa's grave in the morning. Suddenly he realised Hermione had stopped talking to him and was now staring at him intently. Once their eyes met she started blushing and averted her eyes.

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><p>"She said momma!" Hermione exclaimed. "Oh I am so excited! I was wondering when she would say her first word. I looked it up in a few books and they said that it could be around now but that it could also take up to a year. I was starting to worry because I remember my mum telling me that I spoke full sentences at one year old. But then again I might have been talking a bit early. Anyway I hope that now she has started talking she will learn more words. It is so much easier to understand what she wants if she can actually tell me..." Hermione stopped her rambling. She had looked up only to see that Lucius had obviously zoned out on her. His eyes where distant and from the lines that had appeared in his face she could tell that he was troubled. The man took a deep breath and seemed to return to the world of the living. Only to look right at her. Even when he looked so troubled the man still had one of the most beautiful faces she had ever seen. And those stormy grey eyes where not helping either. Hermione felt the blood rush to her cheeks rapidly and she quickly averted her eyes.<p>

"That's amazing." Lucius said, clearly feeling that he was expected to reply.

"You didn't hear a word I said, did you?" Hermione accused.

"Ow! That hurts Hermione. Of course I heard what you said!" He said whilst giving her a mocking wink. "You where telling me that you where speaking at only one year old. Even though I must say that that is very impressing I am also wondering what you must've put your poor parents trough."

Hermione couldn't help but laugh at that. She still didn't believe that he had heard everything she had just said and she knew she should be at least a bit hurt by what he had just said, but he was obviously joking around. And to be honest, he was probably right about what she had put her parents trough.

After that they both resumed to eating quietly. It was Hermione's turn now to be submerged in thought. The casual mention of her parents had made her think of them. She knew she needn't worry. For as far as she could tell they where still safely and happily living in Australia. She had planned to go find them and return their memories after the war, but that wa

s out of the question now. How on earth was she supposed to explain the choices she had made? _"Hi mum and dad! As you can see we are in Australia. That's because I modified your memories to make me disappear from them and make you believe you wanted to move here. I did that to keep you guys safe while I fought in a war against the darkest wizard of the century and his followers while I was only a teenager. Oh and by the way, I am now married to one of his followers and taking care of the child of an other follower. Oh and remember that boy I told you about, Draco, who always used to tease me? Yeah well the man I'm married to is sort of his dad. He is also over twice my age, their family is the richest family in Britain and oh...I think I am actually falling in love with him." _

There was no other possibility than that that would end in disaster and her parents would probably never speak to her again. Of course that did not mean that Hermione didn't miss her parents. They might not be wizards and therefore not understand much about the wizarding world but they where human and she would have liked to be able to talk to them about Lucius and about how she was falling in love with him and about how the fact that he wanted to turn himself in made her stomach turn and her heart ache. Hermione didn't like to admit it but she felt very lonely.

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><p>Lucius in his turn noticed how worried his young wife looked. He realized that mentioning her parents might not have been the smartest thing. He wasn't sure where her parents where. He vaguely remembered seeing their last name on a 'raid-list' once but he also remembered how Greyback and his men had come back to the manor empty-handed. They had not been able to find the Grangers and it had seemed as if they had dissolved into thin air. It had not been a big deal back then. In those days there where several raids a day –often there where no survivors-. They where just names on a list. Names that couldn't be crossed off, but nothing more then that.<p>

Lucius wanted to ask her about it but he didn't dare. He saw the pained look in her eyes and was afraid he would make matters worse. His mind was going very fast- trying to find a way to ease her pain. Lucius had to admit that he was surprised about his feelings for Hermione. Yes, he cared for the girl, he had for a very long time now. However, only recently he had started to realize just how deep those feelings went. Right now he wanted nothing more than to ease her pain. Then suddenly he thought of something.

"So, did you receive an other letter from the Weasley girl today?"

"I did" Hermione sighed. "I'm not sure what to reply though."

"Why don't you invite her over?"

Hermione's eyes went wide in shock, making Lucius chuckle.

"You know that's not possible! What if something goes wrong? What if they find you?"

"You trust her, don't you?"

"Well yes, but..."

"But nothing. I am well aware of the risks Hermione, but if you trust her, I trust her. You don't have to tell her where the manor is. You could send her a portkey that will only take one person. I could make one for you if you wish me to."

"Won't the ministry be able to detect an unregistered portkey?"

"Not necessarily" Lucius smirked. "You don't honestly think that the death-eaters registered their portkeys, do you?"

"Well no, I guess not."

"There is more than one way to make a portkey. But only the common portkeys can be detected."

"And that's not...dangerous?" Hermione asked, still not conviced.

"Not everything the followers of the dark lord used is dangerous. We did know more than just dark magic." He winked at her.

"Well. I suppose that would be true. I'll have to think about this though."

"Hermione, you have been lonely long enough. A young woman shouldn't lock herself in a house and not see anyone. I know you want to protect Esmeraude and me but you need a friend. Ginevra has been your friend for years. I trust your judgement of people and besides, she already knows where you are."

Hermione sighed and dragged her fingers trough her hair. "You are right." She said, still looking a bit doubtful. "I'll send Ginny a letter to see how she feels about it."

Lucius gave her a very rare warm smile. He was glad that she had agreed to invite the Weasley girl. He knew it was a risk but what he had said was true; Hermione trusted the girl, and Lucius trusted Hermione's gudgement. However, Lucius couldn't deny that he felt a bit worried about it. After all, Ginevra had reasons not to like her.

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><p><em>AN: And that's chapter 9! I hope you guys liked it. Next chapter Lucius will visit Narcissa's grave __and we might just find out who Narcissa was in love with it. (keep your eyes open for hints)._

_- "How we need another soul to cling to." - Sylvia Plath_

_Thank you so much for reading this chaoter, and please review! My muse is addicted to reviews the way I am addicted to licorice. _


	10. Chapter 10 To live in hearts

**A/N: Hi guys! Thankfully this chapter hasn't taken as much time as last chapters.**

**Thanks to sweet-tang-honney for her review!**

**The plot is mine, everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling – I only get to play with it for a while.**

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><p><em>Chapter 10 -To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.<em>

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><p>Hermione woke up in the early afternoon. For the first time in months she felt well-rested.<p>

Lucius and her had decided it would be a waste to not empty the bottle of good wine. They had moved themselves and the wine to one of the sitting-rooms and had finished the bottle in no-time. After that, Lucius had informed her that his cellars held at least one other bottle of that specific wine and then one of them – Hermione wasn't entirely sure who, but she suspected it had been her- had come up with the idea that they should test if that bottle was just as good as the one they had just finished. After they finished the second bottle as well they had come to the conclusion that it was even better. By the time they said goodbye they had both been a bit tipsy. Or in Hermione's case; rather drunk. Hermione had to admit that she had had an amazing time with Lucius last night. They had talked about politics and literature – both muggle and wizard- and Hermione had very much enjoyed herself.

After a few minutes Hermione decided she should really get out of bed. The house-elves would probably be taking care of Esmeraude but Hermione felt it was her duty as a mother to spend as much time with the child as possible.

_It's a miracle I don't have a hangover _Hermione mused. Someone had once told her that good wine didn't cause hang-overs but she had never truly believed it.

She sat up and groaned. It felt as if her head had hit a wall and her stomach had started to turn. _See, I was right, hangover after all. _

She called Wizzy who appeared next to her bed, already carrying a tray with breakfast and two potions. One of them Hermione recognised as her pain-potion. She had been taking it ever since the attack. At first she had had to take it five times a day but she had managed to reduce it to once a day- after she woke up. Hermione didn't like taking pain-potions and had tried to stop taking them completely but that hadn't worked. The pain the scars on her chest caused her had become simply unbearable and so she had decided to take one a day, in order to be able to function. She wasn't sure what spell had caused the wounds and that didn't really help in her and Lucius' attempt to heal them. After two weeks of taking blood-replenching- and pain-potions nearly non stop they had found a way to make the bleeding stop and the wounds had started to heal up until the point where they where mere scars. But the pain remained. Lucius had thought of two possible reasons. One of them was that the curse must have damaged her nerves. The other was that this was actually part of the curse. The last option seemed the most likely as the scar on Lucius' neck hadn't stopped aching either. But whichever one it was, neither her nor Lucius had been able to find anything to make it completely go away.

Hermione gulped the pain-potion down and groaned again. The potion would probably help with the head-ache as well but her stomach had started to turn more violently. She took a deep breath and turned her attention to the second lilac-coloured potion. _'hangover-potion' _the label read. She emptied the vial as well and sighed in relief as her stomach finally behaved. "Wizzy, you're an angel" she told the tiny creature that was still holding the tray. "Thank you milady, Wizzy is only doing her job."

Hermione grinned at the boldness of the elf. She had asked the elves to not call her Lady, but Wizzy just didn't seem to be able to help herself sometimes. Hermione let it be, as she was rather fond of Wizzy. She wasn't sure why the title bothered her so much. She was married to Lord Malfoy, which automatically made her Lady Malfoy. She supposed it just sounded to formal to her or something. Narcissa had been a Lady, Hermione most definitely wasn't.

After taking the tray from Wizzy and eating a few bites of breakfast Hermione felt surprisingly energetic and revived. She finished her breakfast and quickly dressed in a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a hoody and went into the kitchen, following the inviting smell of fresh coffee. Wizzy was sitting on top of the kitchen table, attempting to feed Esmeraude some very thin cold porridge. Hermione had only recently decided to try and put Esmeraude on solid food but the girl didn't seem to be to excited about it. Esmeraude and Wizzy where both covered in porridge, along with half the table. The messier they got, the more excited Esmeraude seemed to be. Wizzy was happy as long as Esmeraude was happy and so the elf was having a great time as well. Hermione shook her head at the mess but couldn't help but grin at the adorable scene. "Wizzy, would you be okay with keeping an eye on Esmeraude for a few more minutes?" She asked as she pored herself a mug of coffee.

"Yes Ma'am, of course." The elf squealed in happy excitement as more porridge flew across the kitchen table.

Hermione grabbed her dark-red cloak and her pack of cigarettes and went outside onto the balcony and into the freezing air. She lit a cigarette with the tip of her wand and took a drag.

Hermione looked around as she slowly smoked her cigarette and drank her coffee. She loved the gardens that surrounded the Manor. They where very well-kept (probably by house-elves) and the quiet ambiance gave her the time and space to think. All the plants and the grass where covered in a thick layer of snow. But the paths had been charmed so there wasn't any snow on them.  
>Sometimes, if the weather allowed it, Hermione took long strolls. She had not seen everything of the gardens. Just as the Manor, the gardens where very large. She had once been in the gardens of Versailles with her parents. They had seemed enormous at the time, but she actually suspected the Manor's gardens to be bigger.<p>

Hermione felt the icy wind cut through her clothes. She thought about casting a heating-charm on herself but decided that she couldn't be bothered. And besides, she didn't really mind the cold.

It took a few moments before Hermione realized she was staring in the direction of the Malfoy Graveyard. The headstones where fabricated out of white marble and therefore they where barely recognisable in the white snow. Only the way they reflected the light gave them away.

Suddenly Hermione noticed a grey stain in the white scenery. It was on the far left of the cemetery, in between two graves that had been places alongside each other. Hermione squinted her eyes to try and identify the stain but it was simply to far away to see what it was.

Rationally Hermione knew that it couldn't be real threat. The wards around the manor where ancient and ridiculously strong – and if the wards had been down both her and Lucius and her would know immediately. But still... Hermione couldn't remember seeing the stain yesterday and she really wanted to know what it was. Her instincts told her something was wrong.

Hermione vanished her cigarette and went inside. "Wizzy?" she asked. "Have there been changes made to the cemetery recently?"

"Missus Narcissa has been buried there Madam." The elf answered, it's ears drooped at that.

"Yes, I know that. But I mean after that. Today or yesterday."

"I is not knowing Madam." The elf said apologetic.

"Could you tell me which of the elves would know?"

"Wizzy is sorry, but no elves would know, Madam"

"Why is that?" Hermione asked, her voice showing her surprise. For as far as she knew the elves knew everything that happened in and around the manor.

"House-elves is not allowed to go to there, Madam. House-elves is not allowed to come past the lake."

"Why is that?"

"Graveyard is for grieving madam." The elf replied as if that was obvious. "Masters want privacy when grieving."

_Must be an old rule. _Hermione thought, regarding the fact that elf had said 'masters' instead of master. _Makes sense though. The proud Malfoys wouldn't want anyone to see them crying. _

"Would I be allowed onto the graveyard?"

"Yes, of course Madam." The elf said. "You is allowed to go everywhere you want."

"Very well. I am going to go see what it is. Please make sure to keep an eye on Esmeraude while I'm gone."

"Yes madam." The elf sounded insecure.

"Is there something wrong?" Hermione asked, noticing the elves discomfort.

"No madam." The elf said.

"Are you sure? You know you can tell me, right?"

"Please be careful, Madam, Wizzy has promised to master that Wizzy would keep Madam safe. Wizzy can't go to graveyard, Wizzy can't keep eye on madam there."

Lucius had asked the elves to keep an eye on her? _Sneaky bastard_ Hermione thought – even though she had to admit that it also made her feel warm inside. After all, if Lucius didn't care for her he wouldn't mind whether she was safe or not.

"I will be careful, Wizzy, don't worry" She smiled. "If I'm not back in an hour you can tell Lucius where I went. Does that make you more comfortable?"

The elf nodded.

"Good. I'll be back as soon as possible." Hermione said as she made her way towards the door. "Oh, and Wizzy?.." The elf looked at her. "Thank you" She said, giving the tiny creature a sincere smile.

"It is not a problem, Madam" The elf squealed happily.

Hermione quickly made her way down the pebbled paths of the Malfoy estate but it still took her about fifteen minutes before she got to a part of the gardens that she hadn't been before.

After about five more minutes the pebbled path went around a corner and ended. Ahead of her she saw the frozen surface of the small lake. It was surrounded by snow-covered grass and trees and up close it reminded her of a slightly smaller version of the lake at Hogwarts. From where she stood Hermione had a clear view on the graveyard that was on the far end of the lake. The Malfoy graveyard had to be centuries old but every headstone looked new and clean. The graveyard didn't give Hermione the uncomfortable feeling that normal graveyards did. It was just very beautiful and peaceful. Hermione looked for the grey stain that she had seen earlier and it didn't take long for her to find it. For as far as she could see it didn't move. But Hermione knew that 'not moving' did not mean 'not dangerous'

She started to walk around the lake slowly, being as careful and quiet as possible. Once she was about halfway she took her wand from her sleeve, just in case. But then she suddenly realised what the thing laying in the snow was and she started running. She ran towards it, slipping on the snow under her feet. She almost fell on her face twice but she didn't have time to stop. Once she reached the graveyard she pushed open the large iron gates and ran past the graves without even paying the slightest attention to them, completely focussing on the grey colour ahead of her.

Lucius' black cloak was covered in a thin layer of snow and ice, causing it to seem grey. The man was laying face-down in the snow in between the two graves. Hermione quickly turned Lucius over and gasped. His face was death-pale and his lips slightly blue. Teartracks where on his cheeks, mixing with the dirt and half-melted snow that was covering him from top to toe. Only his shallow breathing gave away that he was still alive.

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><p><strong><span>AN: I am so sorry to keep you guys hanging here but this chapter was really becoming to long and so I have decided to post it in two parts. **

**If it makes you happy- next chapter is as good as finished and I'll try to post it either tomorrow or Friday.**

**_Please keep the reviews coming._ No-one is beta-ing this story and so I really need you guys to tell me if I'm on the right track. I know where I want to go with this story but I'm still getting a bit lost sometimes. Is the plot going to fast? To slow? To boring? Am I making any sense? **

**(I don't like to admit it, but it's very hard to judge your own work and that makes me a bit insecure.)**

"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. ~Thomas Campbell


	11. Chapter 11 Frozen

**A/N: Thanks to 'ooihcnoiwlerh', 'XoxMountainGirlxoX', 'Lilo', 'aredente farfalla' and 'sweet-tang-honney' for their reviews. It means a lot to me guys!**

**Now, I'm not going to keep you guys from reading the chapter any longer- Enjoy!**

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><p>Chapter 11 - Frozen<p>

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><p><em>I can't feel my senses<br>I just feel the cold  
>All colours seem to fade away<br>I can't reach my soul  
>I would stop running, if I knew there was a chance<br>It tears me apart to sacrifice it all but I'm forced to let go_

_Within Temptation - Frozen_

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><p>O<em>nly his shallow breathing gave away that he was still alive.<em>

Hermione quickly cast a drying-charm on Lucius. She didn't dare to use a heating-charm as well. The man was clearly suffering from hypothermia and he would most likely go into shock if he was warmed up to fast. Instead she took of her cloak and covered him. Then she took her wand and levitated him. Hermione made sure not to move his limbs – She had once read (_thank god for books) _that that might push the cold blood towards his heart. She regretted flipping him over earlier, as that might have done just that. When she had found him she had panicked and it had been an impulse but now she hoped that she hadn't caused any further damage.

Hermione got up of the cold ground and her eye fell on the walking-cane that was on top of the left one of the two graves. She reached to pick it up and her eye fell on the name on the headstone.

_Severus Tobias Snape_

_January 9, 1960 – May 2, 1998 _

"_cineri gloria sera est"_

"_So that's where his body went." _Hermione thought. A few hours after the final battle people had gone to collect his body but it had been gone. At first people had thought that he may be alive after all. But then his portrait had appeared in the headmistress' office – much to said portrait's dismay.

Once she touched the cane that now held Lucius' new wand she felt a strange tingle that went from her hand through her entire body. It was not the feeling she had had when she had picked her wand. This wand was loyal to Lucius but it seemed to acknowledge her. Having no time to think about what this meant she flicked her own wand and the floating unconscious body of Lucius Malfoy started to move ahead of her towards the Manor.

After about 5 minutes she had passed the lake again. Hermione was out of breath from trying to keep Lucius steady and trying not to slip on the icy ground at the same time. She knew that she would be able to call one of the elves and ask it to apparate them from here, but there was no way Lucius could be apparated in his condition.

Taking a deep breath Hermione continued her way towards the Manor. On the clear ice-free paths she could speed up a little and thankfully it only took her ten minutes to get there.

As she entered the main entrance about half a dozen house-elves crowded around her. Hermione hadn't called them but they had probably seen her approach. The elves did not say anything but simply walked with her towards Lucius' rooms, worrying over their master. Once they reached the rooms one of the house-elves opened the enormous door but none of them followed her inside.

Hermione entered and found herself in a sitting-room that had the size of a small ballroom. On the far end of the room where two doors. She had never been inside her husband's rooms and so she randomly opened one of them. To her relief it was the correct one and she now found herself inside a bedroom. She quickly threw back the velvet green sheets of the bed and manoeuvred her unconscious husband on it.  
>When he was on the bed she manually started to take of his dirty and freezing cold clothes, leaving only his underwear on. Having read a lot about first aid she knew what had to be done and it made her feel nervous. She quickly took of her own shoes, hoody, shirt and muggle jeans, leaving her only in her undergarments.<p>

Her practical mind knew what had to be done and also that she might already be to late. Hermione put all her self-consciousness aside and slipped inside the bed next to him. She pulled back the covers and moved to press her skin against his. His skin was freezing cold and the feeling of his cold skin gave her goosebumps. She swung her arm across his chest, feeling the many scars that where on it, and tried to find the pulse by pressing the fingers of that arm against his neck. She found it but noticed it was even weaker than before. Hermione felt a rush of panic. What if she had been to late? She obviously couldn't take him to St Mungo's. She decided to do the best thing she could think of and turned onto her side, putting her leg across Lucius' legs and trying to make as much skin-contact as she could. _Please, let it not be to late, please_ she prayed silently.

After a few very long minutes she could feel his heartbeat getting steadier and his lips seemed to get a bit of their normal colour back. Then she called for a house-elf. The elf seemed a bit shocked and quickly turned around, it's back facing the bed now. Hermione didn't blame the elf. After all, she was half naked and in bed with a unconscious Lucius Malfoy.

"What's your name?"

"Lana, Madam"

"Very well, Lana could you please fill the bathtub to about halfway? And make sure the water is room temperature. It's important that it's not to warm."

"Lana will do that Mistress" the elf replied and it hurried over to a door in the corner of the room. Hermione could hear the water flowing and after a remarkably short time the elf was back.  
>"The bathtub has been filled Mistress, is there being anything else that Lana can be doing for Mistress?"<p>

"Thank you Lana, could you please go to Wizzy and help her to put Esmeraude to bed in the nursery?"

"Ofcourse Madam, Lana will go do that now." the elf replied.

"Thank you" Hermione said, but the elf had already left.

She felt for Lucius' heartbeat again. Yes, it was definitely getting stronger. Also Lucius' had started to shiver, something Hermione knew was a good sign. His body had started fighting of the cold and he would probably regain consciousness soon.

She slipped out of the bed, walked over to the bathroom and opened the door. Inside she saw a sunken bathtub that had indeed been filled to about half way.  
>She walked back into the bedroom and once again levitated Lucius. She didn't dare to take of his boxershorts so instead she left them on and slowly lowered the man inside the tub. As she did this she herself went to sit on the edge of the tub, putting her legs on either side of Lucius' shivering frame so she could keep him into a sitting position.<p>

She took up a sponge and started to gently wash the dirt of Lucius' face and hands, heating the water with a few degrees every couple of minutes. Slowly Lucius' skin turned from death-pale to his normal pale and his lips turned their normal colour. He grunted but did not wake up.

After Hermione was done washing him she grabbed a bottle of shampoo and started to wash his hair which was also covered in dirt. When she was about half way Lucius regained consciousness. His eyes flew open and she could feel his body stiffen.

"It's okay, don't worry." she whispered. "It's just me"

"H-h-her-hermione?" Lucius asked, still shivering.

"Yes"

"Why...what...?"

"I think I am the one that should be asking you that, but don't worry about it for now." She whispered.

Lucius didn't argue and allowed her to return to what she had been doing. He leaned his head against her hands as she massaged his scalp.

"Aquamenti" she said when she was done, rinsing the shampoo from his hair with the water that had started flowing from her wand.

"Do you think you can stand up?"

Lucius simply nodded. He slowly got to his feet and climbed from the tub, heavily leaning on Hermione's shoulder for support. He did not comment on the little amount of clothing they where both wearing and Hermione was thankful for that.

She cast a drying-charm on him and then on herself and summoned two of the dark-green dressingrobes that hung from a hook on one of the walls. She slipped into one of them and then helped Lucius to put his on as well. Still without speaking she took his hand and guided him back into the bedroom, urging him down onto one of the chairs that stood there.

Hermione grabbed a hairbrush and started to work on her husband's long locks. She felt the soft silky strands of hair cares her fingers as she carefully untangled ever single one of them. When she was done she walked back towards the bed and noted that the house-elves must have already changed the sheets as there was no trace of dirt on them. Walking back to Lucius she helped him up and walked with him towards the bed. It felt strange to fuss over him like this. He did not seem the type of person to show his weaknesses or accept help. Perhaps he was more shaken about the event than she realised. Lucius allowed her to put him in bed and closed his eyes, releasing a sigh. Hermione now took the chair that stood inside the room. She felt awkward just wearing her undergarments and a dressing robe but she had no intention of leaving him out of her sight right now. After a few minutes his breathing evened and she took the gamble. She non-verbally summoned her clothes and quickly put them back on. Then she asked one of the house-elves to bring her some tea and a couple of books. She settled in for a long wait.

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><p>Lucius twisted and stirred in his sleep. He was having nightmares, as usual. He woke up after what felt like hours, sweat was dripping down his face and he felt slightly disorientated. He half-opened his eyes and realised it was dark outside. He must have slept through the rest day. He wanted to reach out to grab his cane so he could cast a tempus-spell but before he had the chance there was a damp cloth on his forehead. He propped himself up on his elbows and saw a girl – no, a young woman- with bushy hair sitting next to his bed.<p>

"Here, drink this". His wife's voice was a mere whisper. He felt a cup being pressed to his lips. The purple liquid inside it smelled familiar. Thankfully he gulped the dreamless sleep potion down. The last thing he remembered was falling back into the soft pillows and giving in to sleep.

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><p>When Lucius woke up once again he felt relieved. He was grateful for a night of much needed sleep. The past weeks had been a disaster. Writing down his story during the day gave him nightmares at night. The death faces of his wife and his best friend, their empty eyes staring at him, those visions hunted him. And the thought that he had done the same to so many others made it worse.<p>

Now his mind felt oddly clear and calm. He sat up and grabbed his cane that stood against the bedpost. "Tempus revelio" He said, his voice thick with sleep. The little digits glowed green in front of him. '04:45'.

Lucius groaned. Now he was awake he wanted to do useful things, not lay in bed. But he knew that if he would get out of bed now he would probably not be able to do anything anyway.

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, he'd go back to sleep later but right now he needed a glass of water. Only then he noticed the small figure that was curled up in his armchair. A pale face surrounded by a lot of hair. Closed eyes rimmed with long dark lashes, slightly parted perfectly-shaped lips. A stray lock of hair slightly moved on the rhythm of her breath. The book she had been reading had fallen to the floor next to a half-empty cup of now cold tea. After a few minutes Lucius realized that he still sat on the edge of the bed, staring. He could not stop the flood of emotion that overcame him.

This beautiful young woman was his wife. She had given up everything she had. She deserved to be worshipped for what she had done during the war but instead she had left her friends behind, to marry a war-criminal and to be the mother to a child that wasn't hers. Of course he had known all this, but only now the full impact of just how much she had sacrificed hit him. How was it possible that a woman who was so young had the strength to do such a thing? Was it possible that she truly was so good or was there something else behind it? He didn't know and it bothered him. He couldn't really think of other reasons why she would be with him. They had barely known each other, they weren't in love with each-other and the other day when he had told her they still had money she had honestly looked surprised. What was wrong with this girl?

The slytherin within him hissed that there had to be something she was after. Surely no-one would put up with all this for nothing. Everyone always had their own agenda. It was something that he had learned very young, he had seen it with his parents, at Hogwarts and later at the ministry and within the ranks of the Dark lord. Everyone lied, cheated and manipulated just to get what they wanted. And certainly no-one did anything for someone else if they didn't get at least something out of it themselves.

'_But maybe, just maybe' _an other voice said '_maybe she really is that selfless'_. Somewhere that made sense. She had gone through so much to defeat the dark lord, knowing the risk and willing to sacrifice even her life to protect others. And then he remembered something Draco had told him about her fight for the rights of house-elves. It had seemed so ridiculous at the time, but it did show what kind of person she was.

So, did that make him yet an other pity-project? He really didn't know any more.

Lucius got up from the bed and walked over to where the girl was sleeping.

He tried to remember what had happened the day before. He remembered going to visit the graves of Narcissa and Severus. He remembered the feeling of pure despair that had overwhelmed him. He even remembered falling to his knees and crying as reality came crushing down on him. And then a lot of nothing. The next thing he remembered was only a short flash in the darkness. He had been laying on something soft, probably his bed, covered in blankets and there had been something warm against his side and across his chest, comforting the burning cold in his limps. Had that been Hermione? Was it possible? He knew he had probably suffered from hypothermia. Did she know how to treat that? Did that mean...wow. If what he thought was true then the girl was truly surprising him. He had thought she would be an example of virtue. But then again, perhaps she was. This woman seemed so innocent that she could actually be a virgin. Maybe this was just an other token of how selfless she was. Putting her embarrassment aside in an attempt to save him.

Then he remembered her hands on his skin as she bathed him, her finger in his hair as she had washed and later combed it. She had been so soft and gentle with him. It fascinated him. they had been married for a few months now, but they barely knew each other. And still she had taken care of him.

He decided he'd get to know her. He wouldn't fall in love with her, he told himself, he couldn't do that to her. No, Hermione would have to settle for a marriage of friendship rather than love. But she had known that. Actually, it was probably more than she expected. Yes, that was the way their marriage would be, at least, for as long as that marriage would last. He didn't want to admit it to her, but turning himself in would very likely turn into a death-sentence, or at least a dementor's kiss.

_Just a little longer_ he sighed to himself, _than all my debts will be paid and I'll get the peace that I desire so dearly. _Lucius wouldn't admit it to anyone else, but he was tired, so tired.

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><p><strong><span>AN: **_**"cineri gloria sera est" **_**means ****'Glory paid to ashes comes too**

**late.' I know it sounds like a grim statement but it suits the situation and I think it's the kind of dark sarcasm that suits Snape as well. **

**Thanks for reading the chapter and please review. My muse seems to be way more inspired when I get reviews!**

**Next chapter will contain more interaction between Hermione and Lucius and Hermione will contact Ginny again. Stay tuned!**

**Love,**

**LoversCure**


	12. Chapter 12 Flowers

**A/N:**** Hi guys! First of all, a big thanks to:**** A, aredente farfalla, Kohana Moon, sweet-tang-honney and SapphireDreamer26,**** for their reviews! Reviews really mean the world to me!**

**Again, nothing you recognise is mine (I wish!). Everything you don't recognise _is_ mine (yaaay!...oh wait, I'm not making money of this, shame)**

**Please enjoy this chapter. I think it's fun!**

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><p>Chapter 12 - Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made, and forgot to put a soul into.<p>

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><p>The next morning Hermione woke up, only to realise she had fallen asleep. She looked over to the bed. <em>Shit!<em> The bed was empty. She then noticed the quilt that had been draped over her. It was made out of various patches of green and silver. _How convenient. _

She got up and walked over to the door. Her eye fell on a flower that lay on a small table next to the door. A white rose that shimmered with a pearly glow. Tied to it with a piece of black ribbon was small scroll of parchment. The Edwardian handwriting on the side said '_to my lovely wife'_

Curiously she opened it.

_Dear Hermione,_

_Thank you for what you have done for me yesterday._

_I awoke early and did not want to disturb you._

_I will be in the breakfast-room, waiting for you to join me at breakfast._

_L._

Hermione sighed in relief. After yesterday's incident she was a bit worried about Lucius' mental state. She picked up the rose and examined it. "Beautiful" she whispered as she watched the rose's petals sparkle in the dim morning-light. Then she hurried to her rooms. She put the rose in a small vase and called for Wizzy. The elf appeared immediately and looked at her expectantly.

"Wizzy, could you tell me how Esmeraude is?"

"The little missus is fine madam, she is still being asleep now, She has been being a very nice girl Madam."

"That's good to hear. Would you mind to look after her just a little longer? I will be having breakfast with Lucius. You can leave her to sleep. If she should wake up please come and tell me."

The elf nodded it's head in understanding.

"Thank you."

The elf kept looking at her, slightly uncomfortable now.

"Was there anything else?" Hermione asked, interpreting the elves discomfort.

"No madam, Wizzy was just wondering if you would like some help with your hair."

"My...hair?" Hermione asked astonished.

Wizzy cringed, clearly afraid she had said something wrong.

Hermione threw a look in the mirror and groaned, she suddenly understood what the elf meant. Her hair was even more insane than usual and it seemed to have multiple knots.

"I see what you mean" Hermione said. "You think Lana can take care of Esmeraude by her self for a short time?"

The elf nodded again

"Then yes, I would love some help with my hair."

With the elf helping her it only took ten minutes to tame her unruly curls into something more civil. "Thank you so much Wizzy" Hermione said. The elf beemed at her happily. "now would you mind going back to help Lana with Esmeraude?"

"Yes madam" The elf replied before disappearing with a small *plop*. Hermione still felt uncomfortable bossing the elves around but she had noticed that they seemed a lot more happy when given things to do. She still insisted on being friendly to them however. And she would not allow them to throw themselves at her feet every time they where summoned or to punish themselves if something went wrong. They had had a hard time getting used to that, but now they seemed to appreciate that.

Hermione dressed herself into the first pair of muggle jeans she could find and her favorite pale-blue sweater. Then she hurried to the breakfast-room where Lucius was waiting for her.

The breakfast-room was the smallest diningroom the manor had and was decorated in creamcolours and oak. The furniture was probably antique and irreplaceable but quite modest, compared to most of the other rooms. When Hermione entered the room her eye fell on the large bouquet of white roses that was in the centre of the dining table. She figured her rose must have come from that very bouquet as these roses seemed to have a certain pearly glow over them as well.

"Good morning" Hermione said to the newspaper at the far end of the table.

"Good morning, indeed" the newspaper replied.

"You should stay in bed, you know?"

"I know. However I do not intend to do so. I feel fine Hermione, really."

"You almost died yesterday!"

"Yes, but I did not die."

Hermione rolled her eyes. That man was impossible.

"Where did you get the prophet?"

Lucius put said prophet down and his pale eyes focussed on her instead.

"I had one of the elves pick it up at Diagonally. Although I have to say they might as well call it witches weekly. It is filled with nothing but gossip.

"It has always been filled with gossip. I didn't think it could get much worse."

The look on Lucius face made clear that in fact, it could.

"It's to bad I don't have influence on it any more. Perhaps I should just buy the darned thing."

His face clearly showed his disgust and Hermione had a difficult time trying not to giggle.

"What did they write about you?" Hermione asked, failing in her attempt not to smirk at him.

Lucius couldn't help but give a small grin himself.

"Apparently I am residing in Saudi Arabia where I have taken on several wives and started to breed unicorns. They even have pictures of some poor bastard who seems to have done a poor job on dying his hair blond. And his beard, for that matter."

Now Hermione really couldn't help herself and burst into laugher, within a few seconds she was joined by Lucius. Which caused her to almost fall silent in shock.

She had not heard him laugh since... well...she had never heard him laugh. The sound was nothing like she had expected. She had heard the mean chuckling sound of Draco's laugh and she had heard Lucius chuckle once or twice himself but that was nothing compared to the sound of him full-on laughing. His laugh was a surprisingly deep and warm sound that send shivers trough her stomach. _Oh come on._

After a minute or so Lucius composed himself and turned his attention back to Hermione. "Would you like some tea?" He asked perfectly polite, gesturing to the steaming cup that was already in front of him.

"No thank you" Hermione answered, "I think I need a cup of very strong black coffee after a day like yesterday." She had barely finished her words or said coffee was on the table in front of her.

"I'd say you need a firewhiskey after a day like that but I suppose it's a bit early for spirits."

"Yes, I suppose it is. Thanks for the rose by the way." Hermione said, taking a careful sip of her coffee and burning her mouth in the proses. She quickly put her cup back on the table again.

"Don't mention it. I am rather sure I am the one who should say thank you after yesterday."

"Don't mention it."

"I think I just did. I may very well owe my life to you. If it wasn't for you I would probably have frozen to death on a graveyard. Which would have been a tat to dramatic, even for me."

"Well, I'm your wife, I think keeping you alive is one of the things that comes with that job."

Lucius gave her a slight smile at that remark and took a sip of his tea before replying. "I didn't know there was a job description."

"Well if you die I won't be married to you any more, so it makes sense that keeping you alive is the least I can do."

Lucius raised an eyebrow. "You mean you like being married to me? I don't believe I've been much of a husband to you and I don't think this is the fairytale marriage that most girls picture."

"I am not like most girls. Besides, the war has told me you can't always pick the nice and easy way over what's right." _There is no use to pretend that this situation is perfect now, is there? _She told herself.

Lucius let his eyes wander over her face. So much courage and sense for such a young girl. And those eyes, no girl at her age should have such hard eyes. And apparently that courage and sense was accompanied by some misguided sense of right or wrong. Leaving everything behind to marry a war-criminal couldn't really be the right thing to do. Suddenly he heard himself say; "Hermione, would you allow me to court you? I cannot promise you fake ideas of love and romance, but we are in fact married and the least I can do is get to know you." _What was he thinking! He would probably be death in a matter of months! How could he be so selfish? Lucius thought._ _Or perhaps he wasn't selfish. She knew all the facts, she was well-aware of his situation and she was very bright. She would probably turn him down._

Hermione was taken aback by this statement. If he had stated he really wanted a lilac pigmepuff she would have been less surprised. Of course he couldn't promise her love, she had never expected him to and it was not why she had married him. But this she hadn't expected either. Some part of her, the larger part to be precise, still saw him as the arrogant man she remembered from the ministry and several other occasions. This just didn't make sense. Although she knew he was not that man, didn't she?

"You want to date me?" Hermione asked bluntly. She severely hoped all the emotions that had just shot trough her mind hadn't shown on her face, sometimes she wished she wasn't a griffindor.

"That's what I said."

"Well, I would say yes but I think that might be a bit difficult considered that you're one of the most wanted men in wizarding Britain. Or did you want to court me within the manor?" she asked, more as a joke then anything else.

"I could easily court you within the manor, I am fairly sure you haven't seen ten percent of it. How about I take you to the inside garden this afternoon?"

"There is an inside garden?" _Like the outside garden isn't big enough_

"There is. It's where the more delicate plants and flowers grow. Your rose actually came from it."

"Well...I have to write Ginny today, I really can't put it off any longer. And I want to spend some time with Esmeraude. I don't like leaving her alone to much and I've barely seen her yesterday. But after that I would love to go see the inside garden."

"Shall we go after lunch then?"

"Yes, that should be fine."

"Then we have a _date, _as you state it."

"Yes, I suppose we do." Hermione said. Not sure how to feel about it.

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><p><em>Dear Ginny,<em>

_Thank you for your last letter.  
>I am sorry you have had to wait so long for me to reply, but I hope that what I am about to ask you next will make up for that.<em>

_I would like to invite you over. Perhaps in the next Hogsmeade weekend?_

_If you decide to accept my offer please send a couple of your hairs so we can make you a personalised port-key that will only take you. Obviously I can't risk telling you my current location due to the risk of my letter getting intercepted. _

_I hope you'll come! I really miss you._

_Love,_

_Hermione_

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><p>Hermione closed the window and watched the owl fly away towards the horizon. Then she went to go get Esmeraude who had finally woken up. <em>At least she has great nights of sleep <em>Hermione thought as she rubbed her sore neck. Sleeping in a chair was far from ideal. And then, all of the sudden, it hit her. _I have a date with Lucius Malfoy. Can my life get any more ridiculous?_

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><p><strong>AN:**** Well, that was a fun chapter to write. Looks like Hermione and Lucius are finally starting to grow on each-other (Ok, I won't pretend I'm surprised. I'm the one writing this story after all.)**

**Please keep reviewing! You have no idea how important it is to authors to know their work is being appreciated. **

**Love,**

**LoversCure**

**P.s.: Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made, and forgot to put a soul into. ~Henry Beecher, _Life Thoughts_, 1858**


	13. Chapter 13 Serenity and Joy

**A/N:**

**Hi guys!**

**I am very, VERY sorry about how long it took for me to write this chapter. At first real life took over and then I suffered from major writers-block because I was so busy. Anyway I'm back and I hope I can make it up to you guys by making this chapter about twice as long as usual. Don't worry, I _will _finish this story. (Unless I die of course, but I'm not planning to do that any time soon.) **

**A big thanks to** **_Sampdoria, sweet-tang-honney, ooihcnoiwlerh_ and _aredente farfalla_** **for reviewing last chapter! **

**An even bigger thanks to_ HermioneMalfoyFan_** **for sending me an amazing PM that contained a couple of mistakes I've made in past chapters. - really guys, I appreciate it if you correct me.**

**And a huge thanks to one of my best friends who has agreed to carefully review my story so that I can improve/correct it. Thanks to him old chapters may be re-uploaded over time. **

**Nothing you recognise is mine – I'm just borrowing it.**

**Enjoy!**

_**P.s.:**** It's rather late right now so I haven't had time to proofread this chapter. However, I do want to put it up right now (I've kept you guys waiting long enough.)  
>If there are any major mistakes please send me a PM and I'll fix them first thing in the morning.<strong>_

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><p>Chapter 13 –serenity and joy.<p>

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><p><em>The burning desire to live and roam free,<em>

_It shines in the dark, and it grows within me._

_You're holding my hand but you don't understand._

_So where I am going, you won't be in the end._

_Utopia –Within Temptation & Chris Jones_

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><p>Hermione was reading '<em>Winnie the Pooh<em>' to Esmeraude when one of the house-elves appeared. She recognized the elf as being one of Lucius' personal elves but she wasn't to sure about the creatures name.

The elf stared at Hermione, it's big eyes expectantly. Hermione thought this one might be a male, but that was hard to determine sometimes. She smiled at it encouraging, and the elf started speaking.

"My name is being Orby, it is being very nice to finally meet you Madam."

Hermione noticed the elf didn't throw itself towards the floor. Apparently word had gone around that that was utterly unnecessary with her. Something Hermione felt glad for.

"And it's very nice to meet you to, Orby. Now what brings you here?"

"Master Lucius has send me to pick up young miss Esmeraude, Madam. He is saying you might want some time before you appointment with master later."

"How..considerate of him" Hermione replied, wondering if Lucius really expected her to work on her appearance for three hours. Esmeraude had pulled herself up on Hermione's leg and was now reaching her hands out to Hermione. Repeatedly saying 'up' in her adorable demanding voice. Now that she had figured out talking was very handy to get what she wanted her vocabulary had dramatically improved. Hermione reached for the child and positioned her on her left hip, supporting the child with her left arm.

"Master also asked Orby to give you this." The elf said as he reached out a purple box that was tied shut with a black ribbon.

Hermione took the box. "Thank you. I'll just gather some of Esmeraude's toys to take with you."

"That is not being necessary Madam. Master already has young master Draco's toys – He is saying young master Draco does not need them any more. Although he did ask for the book that you where no doubt force-feeding young miss Esmeraude." The elf blushed at repeating the impolite statement it's master had made.

Hermione grinned at that. She knew for a fact that Lucius thought reading to a child was just as important as she thought it was. "Okay, well the book is on the table."

"Esmeraude, do you want to go see daddy?" she asked the little girl.

"Dada!" The girl squealed while pulling one of Hermione's curls.

"Auch! Yes, daddy, you can go pull his hair." Hermione bent down and put Esmeraude to her feet. Orby, who now had the book clutched firmly in it's hand reached with it's free hand under Esmeraude's arms, supporting her weight. The next moment they both disapparated to wherever Lucius was.

Hermione turned her attention to the purple box. She took of the ribbon and opened the lid. Inside she found four richly decorated crystal bottles. There also was a piece of parchment. '_To my lovely wife.'_

Curiously she unfolded the peace of parchment and began to read.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I thought you might like a few hours of relaxation after last night. _

_The contents of these bottles should help you with that._

_Lucius_

_P.s.: Do not forget to have a look underneath the bottles._

Hermione took one of the bottles from the box and read the label.

_Madame Céline Vaniteuse -Paris_

_huile de bain _

curiously she took the cork out and sniffed. She sighed as the distinct smell of lavender and honey reached her. The other bottles held shampoo, hair conditioner and a body lotion. They all had different smells but each of them smelled delicious and seemed to complement the others. After Hermione was done examining the bottles she turned her attention back to the box, remembering what the note had said.

At first Hermione thought that the box was empty but when she traced the bottom of it with her fingertips she could feel the subtle tremble of magic there. She took a better look at it and noticed a small drawing in one of the corners. It wasn't much bigger than the point of her wand a clearly resembled a rose. Hermione did the only thing that came to her mind and gently touched the rose with the tip of her wand, mumbling _"Revelio". _Immediately the bottom of the box seemed to melt away and revealed a hidden compartment. Hermione grinned as she reached in and closed her fingers around a small book. She took it out and gasped in pure glee. _The founding of Hogwarts_. The bindings and the cover of the book seemed to be new, but once she opened it she found a collection of very old documents. Hermione could see the traces of strong preservation and water-repellent spells. She carefully flipped the pages, seeing notes, detailed drawings and even a few very detailed maps. It took her a bit of time before she got her enthusiasm under control and put the book down.

She picked up the bottles and went into the bathroom. There she filled the sunken bathtub and added the bathing oil. Within ten minutes the bathtub was full, Hermione was in it and the book was floating above her head. Even with the water-repellent charms on it she didn't dare to let it come anywhere near the water. _This. was. bliss. _

Two hours and fifty minutes later Hermione was running trough her rooms, leaving a trail of water drops behind. She had completely forgotten about the time and was now officially late for her date with Lucius. _'well, it's his own fault' _she thought _'He should know how irresponsible it was to give me such a gift.'_ She quickly cast a dryingspell on herself and put on the nearest outfit she could grab, a violet knee-length dress, and went to the mirror to do something about the rest of her appearance. As she handled her hair with the brush she found that it was much less impossible than usual. Yes, it was still a wild mass of curls, but thanks to her new shampoo and conditioner there didn't seem to be even one knot. Happy about how manageable her hair looked she decided to leave it down and after adding just the slightest touch of mascara to her eyelashes she went on her way.

Hermione walked trough the majestic hallways of the manor towards the inside garden. She had never been to this part of the manor and was glad that she had asked one of the house-elves to guide her. The elf was happily bouncing ahead of her, pointing out different details and explaining the historic stories behind them. This part of the manor was brighter than the rest, but at the same time it seemed lifeless. Hermione couldn't find a speck of dust, the house-elves probably made sure of that, but something in the atmosphere told her that there was barely any human activity here.

After what seemed like ages but had probably only been a few minutes the elf came to a sudden halt in front of two gigantic arched wooden doors. "Inside garden is in here madam" the elf squiled. Making a barely noticeable bow. As if by magic (No, probably simply by magic) the doors swung outward and open. Hermione thanked the elf and stepped inside.

Hermione could tell she crossed some kind of invisible barrier the moment she entered the room. Suddenly everything around her was warm, bright, colourful, and a bit moist. She looked up at the sky, she heard the doors slam shut behind her, and everything was quiet. The ceiling was enchanted and she could see the bright shining sun surrounded by a clear blue sky. At first Hermione thought it had to be the same enchantment that had been used on the ceiling of the great hall at Hogwarts. But then she realised that today the sky outside had been a depressing grey colour. This ceiling obviously didn't show the actual sky. Just at that moment a flock of brightly coloured birds flew across the sky.

Hermione walked further inside the room and looked around. The room had been magically enlarged, Hermione couldn't see any of the other three walls. She took a deep breath to allow her senses to absorb the smell of a million flowers. She had thought the room was quiet but now that her ear adjusted to it she could hear the faint melodic screams of several birds of paradise and the sound of flowing water hitting rocks . "Why hasn't he shown me this room before?" she whispered to herself, This was probably as close to heaven on earth as it could get.

Once the beauty of it all had started to sink in, Hermione started to follow the path that was in front of her. The entire path seemed to have been crafted out of one piece of marble and was almost painfully white against the dark greens of the moss that covered every other part of the floor. Hermione walked several minutes in the midst of what mostly resembled a tropical rainforest. Enormous brightly coloured flowers could be seen everywhere and more than one plant seemed to move on it's own. Suddenly a new sound reached her ears. Faint music drifted in the air. Curiously Hermione followed it and suddenly she found herself on the edge of a clearance.

There he was, Lucius Malfoy, playing on a large black grand piano. He seemed completely focussed on what he was doing, his face calm, his eyes intense, his hair – which he had let loose- dancing around his shoulders. Next to the grand piano was a cot with Esmeraude in it, soundly sleeping.

It was a very adorable sight and Hermione felt almost guilty to disturb it. She cleared her throat. Lucius looked up and smiled at her but didn't stop playing. After several minutes in which Lucius didn't say anything and kept playing Hermione sat down on the floor against the cot. The marble was nicely cold against her skin. Only now she realised how warm it really was in here.

At last the music stopped and Hermione looked up to see Lucius standing right in front of her. He bent past her and carefully lifted Esmeraude, who was still sleeping, from her cot.

He whispered something in the little girls ears. Even if Hermione had been close enough to hear what he said she probably wouldn't have understood. From the few words she caught it was obvious that he was speaking French.

Playing the piano, speaking French, Living in a mansion that had an inside guarded for god sakes! And those looks...did that man really _have _to be such a cliché? If Hermione hadn't known better she would have sworn that Lucius was one of the main characters in some crappy love story. Probably of one of those cheap paperbacks you found in muggle-stores next to the magazines, the ones with the gorgeous men on the cover who al held a nearly-fainting woman.

Obviously Hermione knew that there was much more than met the eye. Lucius might be drop-dead-gorgeous and seemingly perfect in every way but his eyes told a story of their own.

"Hermione?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you all right?"

Lucius looked at her curiously, Hermione blushed, she had been so caught up in her own thoughts that she hadn't noticed when he had sent Esmeraude with one of the elves. "Yes, just lost in thought I guess. Your piano play is amazing."

"Thank you. I've had a lot of practice in my younger days, although I have to say I have been neglecting it for the last decade or so."

"Well, it sounded perfect to me."

"I'm glad." Lucius offered her his hand, which she took. He pulled her up but didn't let go of her hand once she stood. "Would you please join me in a walk, Hermione?" He asked. He made a slight bow but remained eye contact.

"I would be delighted." Hermione answered, making the appropriate curtsy.

Lucius raised his eyebrows. "You know wizarding formality's?"

"Well yes, they don't differ much from muggle formality's actually. Really old-fashioned muggle formality's though."

"Ah yes, I tend to be a bit old-fashioned."

"Nothing wrong with that."

Lucius smiled at her and they started walking. They where silent for a while, not an uncomfortable silence but the silence that occurred when nothing really needed to be said. Lucius was the first to speak again.

"Here, I wanted you to see these." He said, as he walked up to bush with large green leaves and white flowers that in their shape reminded Hermione of a Calla lily. Only these flowers where filled to the brim with a liquid that shimmered gold in the sunlight.

"They're gorgeous, what are they?" Hermione inquired.

"I believe their official name is Lily Potum Deorum. Drink of the gods. It's the only one in England. For as far as I know it might even be the only one in Europe."

"I don't believe I've ever heard of it. What is it used for?"

"I'm not surprised you haven't. There is no known use for it, not in potions nor any other subject."

"Ah..." Hermione replied, not sure why Lucius had wanted to show it to her if it wasn't useful.

"Hermione. Not everything in this world has to be useful, some things are just precious because they make the world a little bit more beautiful, like the roses I sent to you this morning. Here, let me show you."

Lucius got down on one knee and took a small silver knife from his pocket. He cut the stem with his right hand while carefully holding the flower with his left, making sure nothing was spilled.

Hermione opened her mouth to say something but Lucius interrupted her. "Don't worry, the flower will grow back over night. Now, do you trust me?"

Hermione looked at him with her head slightly tilted. Did she trust him? Yes, she supposed she did. She nodded.

"Good. Now, close your eyes." Hermione opened her mouth to argue but again she didn't get the chance to speak. "You said you trusted me Hermione. I promise you that I know what I'm doing. Please close your eyes."

Yes, Hermione had said that she trusted him. Sighing she did as she was told and closed her eyes. Immediately all her other senses seemed to get stronger. It was unnerving to not be able to see anything – ever since the war it was unnerving to do anything that could make her vulnerable. - but at the same time a whole new world of sounds and smells opened to her, giving her a strange new awareness of her surroundings. She could hear Lucius move towards her. The sound of his steady and calm breathing reassured her. Yes, she had said that she trusted him but only now she realized how true that statement had been. His voice in front of her didn't come to unexpected. "Now, Hermione, inhale deeply and tell me what you smell."

Again, Hermione did as she was told. The smell in front of her was mouthwatering – the best way to describe it was that it was a mixture of honey, nectarine, apple, cinnamon, lavender and lemon, but even that description didn't seem to be quite right. Hermione tried to describe what she exactly smelled but failed misserably.

"Don't worry." Lucius said. "There really is nothing quite like it. Now, I'm going to ask you to trust me even more. Can you do that."  
>Again Hermione nodded. She knew she could trust Lucius, even if only for the fact that he needed her.<p>

"Good, than tilt your head slightly back and open your mouth."

Hermione frowned, making Lucius chuckle, before complying once again. Suddenly there was a soft brush against her lips. The texture of the flower was softer than she had expected. Hermione could feel how Lucius slowly tilted the flower and she felt the flower's nectar slowly flowing into her mouth. Her brain supplied her with the thought that it might not be smart to drink anything from a plant she didn't know, but then the taste hit home. It was a strange taste, and the best thing that Hermione had ever tasted in her life. Sweet yet fresh, with a mixture of all the things she had smelled and more. Hermione opened her eyes in surprise and looked straight into the face of her smiling husband. "Good, isn't it?" He said. Hermione could do nothing but nod.

"As I told you, not everything needs to be useful to be precious. This nectar has no known use for anything. Besides, the nectar only tastes good if you drink it immediately, within an hour it looses it's colour, smell and taste, making it nothing more than water."

"You can't bottle it?"

Lucius shook his head. "Don't think we haven't tried. Me and Severus tried every trick in the book to preserve it but it's simply impossible."

"The two of you where really close, weren't you?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, we where."

"Did you know he was a spy?"

"Of course I knew Severus was a spy. Even though we never really spoke about it. After Lily died, well, he was absolutely devastated. I suspected he had turned sides then, by the time the second war started I knew for sure."

"So he never told you that he had turned sides?"

"No he didn't, the less I knew the better. He never told me and I never asked."

"Why not?"

"Because the dark lord didn't like suspicions, he liked facts. Whenever he entered someone's mind he would only take a look at actual memories, not at whatever a person felt or suspected. I was sure that Severus was a spy but he had never told me, and so you-know-who never found out"

"That makes sense. But if I get this right – You suspected he betrayed your master and still you remained friends?"

"Yes. Us Slytherins will do everything to save our hide, but we seldom turn on our friends. Don't get me wrong, if he had personally attacked me I would not have hesitated to kill him, and I am sure he would have done the same to me. But as long as he didn't pose a treat to me or my family it didn't matter who he was loyal to. He was a good man and a good friend."

"He didn't deserve to die."

Lucius looked her straight in the eyes, his face once again showing the deep pained sadness.

"No, he didn't."

Hermione decided that it was time to change the mood and started walking again. Lucius fell into step next to her.

Hermione looked at his face which still looked incredibly sad. After a few moments she gathered all her courage and reached for his hand, which he gave to her without complaining. And so they walked, hand in hand. With her thumb, Hermione rubbed small circles on the back of Lucius' hand. She pretended as if the flock nervous butterflies that had been in her stomach all day didn't fly around like mad at this simple contact. Lucius did the same.

For the next hour they wandered around in the garden, talking about the plants and birds that lived there. Thankfully Lucius' sad mood had disappeared and they where talking and laughing. To both it felt as if all the darkness and sadness of the outside world and their own personal histories didn't exist right now. Eventually they came back to the clearing where they had started walking earlier. Hermione was surprised to see that the grand piano and the cot had disappeared to make room for a large square rug covered with food. From the less-than-surprised look on Lucius face Hermione could tell that he had planned for this. They sat down, and Lucius easily opened a bottle of champagne and filled two glasses. He handed one of them to Hermione, which she gratefully took.

She hadn't realised how hungry she had been until she was actually eating. The food was exquisite, the champagne possibly even better. After her third glass Hermione was starting to feel slightly buzzed. The house-elves had made their plates and remaining food disappear and she was now laying on her back on the clean rug/ She was watching as the sun turned from a bright yellow into a more gentle orange – announcing the fast approaching sunset. Next to her, laying on his side, was Lucius. He was leaning in his elbow and supported his head with his hand.

It seemed very out of character for him to lay so casually on the ground in the midst of a garden but at the same time the casualty of it all made him even more attractive.

Over the past few hours Hermione had come to realize that what she felt for Lucius was more than a simple schoolgirl-crush. No, she was honestly attracted to him. She wasn't sure she was happy about it, it would most definitely make things more difficult once it all ended. And she wasn't even sure how he felt about her. How could a beautiful, strong, handsome man ever be attracted to such a blushing young bookworm? _"No" _She decided. "_If he wasn't attracted to me he wouldn't have asked to court me. Married or not."_

"Hermione, I want to thank you for the amazing day, I have very much enjoyed myself."

"So have I, Lucius. Does this mean it's coming to an end though?"

"Well, I could certainly lay here for the remaining part of the day. However, I think Esmeraude might want to see you before she goes to sleep."

Hermione sighed, knowing he was right. Lucius got up and held out his hand. Hermione sat up and grabbed it. Lucius pulled her up but she lost her balance and slammed against his chest. Lucius caught her in his arms before she could fall and held her to steady her. With Lucius' strong arms around her Hermione felt even more off-balance. She could feel his steady heartbeat against her body, feel his breath against her skin, smell the scent that was so distinctly Lucius. She looked up at him and saw his eyes where slightly clouded. "T-Thank you." She stuttered. Lucius seemed to come back to his senses as well. "No problem. Are you okay?". "Yes, yes I'm fine. Thanks."

For a moment they stared each-other in the eye. Unconsciously Hermione tipped her head backwards while Lucius lowered his. With only inches between their mouths Lucius seemed to come to his senses and stood back up straight. "I..I'm sorry." He said as he averted his eyes.

Hermione swallowed, her troth suddenly very dry. "It's al right." She whispered, a blush creeping up on her cheeks.

They walked back to Hermione's rooms in awkward silence and parted at the door.

"Have a good night, Hermione."  
>"Thank you Lucius. You to."<p>

Lucius nodded and turned around.

"Oh, and Lucius..."

Lucius turned around. "Yes?"

"Thank you.." Hermione smiled. "For the lovely day. I really enjoyed it."

Lucius smiled back at her. "As did I Hermione." As he walked away she thought she heard him whisper _"more than you could possibly know"._

The butterflies where back once again.

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><p><strong>AN: Now that was nice, wasn't it? Don't worry – the kiss will come eventually. Just give Hermione and Lucius some time.**

**Anyway, FF has made it easier to review so please do so! Your reviews really help me write. (please do remember that I cannot reply to anonymous reviews. I do reply to all the other reviews!)**

**Next chapter won't take this long – I promise.**

**Love,**

**LoversCure**

**P.s.: Chapter's title:_ A garden must combine the poetic and he mysterious with a feeling of serenity and joy. - Luis Barragan_**


	14. Chapter 14 The hand of an old friend

**Hi Guys! I know this chapter is terribly late (again, please don't kill me)**

**It's summer and the weather is great so I suppose my muse has been spending time at the beach or something. Besides, this chapter has been quite difficult to write. I hope you guys will forgive me!**

**I want to thank Sampdoria, Aredente Farfalla, fanfoction fan (I did not spell this wrong, that's the way he/she spelled it), KitKat, A and Legolas's Mione0233** **for reviewing last chapter!  
>I would also like to thank my Beta for kicking my ass about this chapter. Trust me, if it wasn't for him, this chapter would be a mess.<strong>

**Now, without keeping you any longer from this chapter, I present to you: Chapter 14!**

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><p>Chapter 14 - The hand of an old friend<p>

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><p>Drink with me to days gone by<p>

To the life that used to be

At the shrine of friendship

Never say die

Let the wine of friendship

Never run dry

Here's to you  
>And here's to me<p>

Drink with me- Les Miserables

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><p>Hermione's hands were shaking. She knew they were and still she chose to ignore it. Therefore it wasn't really a surprise that she eventually spilled most of her tea all over her crisp white blouse. She gasped. Thankfully the tea wasn't really hot anymore but spilling warm liquid all over your clothes couldn't really be considered comfortable. She reached for a napkin and wiped away most of the tea. Then she shot a desperate glance towards her husband.<p>

Lucius didn't notice. He was too caught up in trying to feed Esmeraude the remains of her breakfast. Most of the porridge clung to either her hair or his. On other days the sight would have been ridiculously funny, but right now both Lucius and Hermione where too tense to notice.

After a few more minutes Lucius finally noticed his wife's distress and kindly offered to take Esmeraude with him to the library after breakfast. He stated that he was supposed to be the one watching her that afternoon anyway. Hermione sighed with relief and gladly accepted his offer. She loved Esmeraude more than she could say, but that didn't change the fact that the girl could be a handful. Immediately after they left she went back to her rooms and changed her clothes. Then came the hardest part. With everything finished that had to be done that morning and Lucius watching after Esmeraude, Hermione had nothing to do but wait, which – in this case – equalled worrying. Hermione looked at her watch. It was only five minutes past eleven and Ginny was supposed to be arriving at twelve. The one good thing about a portkey was that you knew precisely when people would arrive. The one bad thing about a portkey was that you knew precisely when people would arrive as well. In this case it meant almost an hour of useless waiting and more worrying. As if she hadn't worried enough over the past few days.

The first day after her date with Lucius, Hermione had been in a great mood. Nothing had changed, and yet everything had changed. The way he acted towards her showed that he too had felt the change in atmosphere between them. He was still terribly correct and polite but something had changed in his voice when he spoke to her and in his eyes when he watched her. It wasn't just gratefulness anymore, there was something else there as well.

And then came the letter which had affected both her and Lucius' light mood. It had been a letter from Ginny that contained both a few long red hairs in a corked test-tube and the date for the next hogsmeade weekend. _Next week's Saturday._

Both Hermione and Lucius had gotten nervous with the prospect of Ginny arriving at Malfoy Manor, though neither of them would admit it. Up until then it had really seemed like a good plan to invite her over, but as the date came closer their doubts got stronger and stronger.

Of course Lucius didn't _really_ have anything to worry about; he wouldn't have to meet the girl after all. However, she would be arriving in his family home and the fact that he had nearly caused the girl's death at some point – no matter how much he had regretted it later – did not help at all.

Hermione was just worried about what Ginny would say about the choices she had made. Her letters had not really been accusing, but well, it was hard to tell something like that from a letter. Even thought Ginny had agreed to visit her at the manor, Hermione couldn't put her mind quite at ease. She knew Ginny long enough to know that the girl was perfectly capable of protecting herself and even if she would be coming alone she would be able to cause quite some damage.

Hermione shook her head – no, this was Ginny she was thinking about, Ron's sister, Harry's wife, a friend. There was no reason to worry. No reason at all.

Of course she wasn't surprised to find that that thought didn't ease her nerves one bit.

After picking up and laying down the same book for at least ten times, without actually being able to read it, Hermione decided it was time for a cigarette, even if only to have something on her hands that wouldn't actually need focus.

She went onto the balcony and lit up, noticing that the air didn't seem as freezing cold as it had been only a week ago. On the edges of the lawn she could see the snow retreating and little pieces of snow and ice where falling from tree branches. It was still terribly cold, but at least the frost seemed out of the air.

At five to twelve Hermione was standing in her kitchen, the place where Ginny would arrive. One hand was gripping her wand tightly while the other was fidgeting with one of the buttons on her blouse. She wasn't sure where to put her wand. Putting it away seemed terribly foolish to her because it would mean she wouldn't be able to protect herself fast enough if necessary. However, keeping it clutched in her hands the way it was now would look very hostile. She sighed, realizing that she wasn't the only person who had lived through a war not too long ago and that Ginny would probably feel uneasy enough without having a wand pointed at her the moment she arrived. Hermione stuck her wand in her back pocket, took a deep breath, and waited.

And then, all of the sudden, a slight whooshing sound and a flurry of red hair and black Horwarts robes announced the arrival of Ginny Potter née Weasley.

To Hermione's utter shock the red-headed girl directly raised her wand and pointed it right at her. In a split of a second Hermione realized how foolish it had been to put her wand away and she went to grab it, knowing that she was already too late.

_"_Finite incantatum!_"_

Of course, nothing happened. Hermione felt relief flow through her as she realized what Ginny had tried to do. Had she been in the girl's situation she would have probably done the same. Next thing she knew the girl flung herself at Hermione and pulled her in an embrace so tight that it could put Molly Weasley to shame.

"I'm sorry 'Mione! I'm so sorry I scared you. I had to be sure you weren't under the imperio or something. I'm so glad to see you!" Ginny rambled.

"It's okay Ginny, I understand. Just never-ever do that again, I'm usually not that much off guard. I doubt you'll get away with it a second time without me hexing you into next week out of reflex."

Ginny raised an eyebrow at Hermione and grinned. "Well, there is hardly any need for me to do it a second time, now, is there?"

There wasn't even the slightest trace of hostility in her voice and Hermione couldn't help but feel relieved about that. She looked the girl over. Ginny looked better than she had done when Hermione had last seen her. Her hair was full and shiny, her eyes had gotten some of their old fire back and she had put on some much-needed weight. Hermione remembered what Ginny had looked like just after the final battle; tired, very skinny and grief-ridden. Of course some traces of that grief where still there. It wasn't really a surprise, Ginny had lost a brother that day and that obviously wasn't easy to cope with. It wasn't supposed to be.

"Merlin, Ginny, you have no idea how much I've missed you." Hermione sighed.

"And I've missed you 'Mione. To be honest, we all have." Ginny's eyes had turned serious.

Hermione felt the guilt creep up on her once more. She knew she couldn't put this conversation off forever, but decided it would be best to try and avoid it for now. Ginny didn't seem to be a threat, but Hermione had both a husband and a daughter to protect. She wasn't going to tell Ginny everything before she was absolutely certain that the girl was not going to use the information against them.

"I know, and I'm sorry." Hermione replied before continuing in a much happier tone of voice "So, you got married! I'm so happy for you, for the both of you."

"Thank you!" Ginny smiled. "I wish you could have been there. It was beautiful."

"So do I. Perhaps you could show me the pictures sometime."

"Oh I most certainly will! Until you're absolutely sick of seeing them." Ginny grinned.

Hermione led Ginny to her sittingroom, their flow of words never stalling.

Both girls knew they were beating around the bush, Ginny's unspoken questions hung in the air as fog but she had enough restraint to not throw them at Hermione immediately. Instead they chatted about her marriage with Harry, how they both knew they where a bit young to get married but hadn't wanted to put it off. "We knew we wanted to stay together forever. And with everything that had happened the wizarding world was very much in need for some celebration. 'the-boy-who-lived-twice' getting married was just the thing for that."

Hermione grinned. "You don't call him that in public, do you?" She asked, eyebrows raised.

Ginny shook her head. "I doubt he would appreciate it. You know how much he hates all the titles that the wizarding world has thrown upon him over the years, but it is fun to annoy him with it when we are alone. By the way, did you know that Luna and Neville are expecting?"

That bit of information was new to Hermione and in the next hour she subjected Ginny to what seemed like a million questions about who had gotten married to who and who else was expecting. It was good to hear that most of her friends where recovering and picking up their lives. At the mention that both Ron and Harry, along with nearly all their classmates that had been on the run during their seventh year, had followed a crash-course at Hogwarts to make up for it and then taken their N.E.W.T.s Hermione felt a sharp pang of jealousy. She could only hope that she would be given the same chance some day.

Just as Hermione's stomach started snarling, one of the elves brought in some tea and cucumber sandwiches on a silver platter. Before leaving it made a ridiculously deep bow to Ginny, and with a slight nod of its head towards Hermione it left.

They talked some more. About how Molly was driving Fleur, who was only two months pregnant, up the wall and how Ginny expected her to hex Molly at some point, probably when her hormones kicked in. And about little Teddy. As his godfather, Harry had obviously offered to take Teddy in after the death the boy's parents. He had stated that auror training could wait until Ginny was done with Hogwarts and any study that she may want to pursue afterwards. However, Andromeda wouldn't hear any of it. She had said that even though she wasn't very young anymore, she was perfectly capable of taking care of her own grandson. At least until Harry and Ginny 'where done doing the things young people do' as she had stated it. Harry had felt bad about Andromeda having to look after an infant, but Ginny had understood – and so had Harry after she had explained it to him. She shook her head at Hermione and continued. "I love Harry, I honestly do, but he can be so thick sometimes! Andromeda left her parents and sisters to marry Ted. Now both her husband and her only daughter have died along with her son-in-law. Teddy is all she has left. I honestly don't understand how he didn't see that immediately."

Hermione shrugged. "Harry has always had a very strong sense of what he's supposed to do. He is Teddy's godfather so I suppose he saw it as his duty to take Teddy in. Especially because Sirius was never able to do the same thing for him."

Ginny sighed. "You're right Hermione, I never looked at it that way. See, that's why we can't go without you. You're just so darn smart."

They spent a little more time talking about Teddy and his new habit to turn his hair golden with black spots after he had seen a leopard on the television that Harry and Ginny had in their apartment.

Eventually they ran out of subjects. All subjects but one. Hermione knew it was coming because Ginny suddenly looked very nervous. "So...Hermione...do I need to ask the questions or are you just going to tell me how all of this..." She gestured around the room. "came about."

Hermione sighed. She knew she would have to tell the story eventually and the last couple of hours had convinced her that Ginny was still the same girl she had always been and that she could be trusted. "I suppose I'll just tell you. How much time do we have left? It's quite a long story."

Ginny looked at her watch. "I think we've got about four hours left."

"Okay, I'll try to stick to the details then..."

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><p><strong>Yes I know, major cliffhanger. I hope you guys believe me if I tell you I'm sorry about that but trust me if I say that the next few chapters will be worth it. They'll be flashbacks and hopefully they'll answer most of your questions! Lots of drama coming up.<strong>

**Once again: Please review! Your reviews really help me to keep this story going!**

**(oh, and make sure you don't forget to log in if you want me to reply to your review! I can't reply to anonymous reviews and with the new reviewing system it's easy to forget to log in sometimes)**

**Love,**

**LoversCure**

**Chapter's (full) title:** Ah, how good it feels! The hand of an old friend. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


	15. Chapter 15 What's done is done II

**A/N: Hi guys! This chapter is posted a little faster than the last one. I know I promised some of my reviewers that I would post it much earlier, but about halfway trough the chapter my body decided that stomach flue would be more fun. After that I had to start uni again and as usual - life took over.  
>*Please don't throw rotten tomatoes at the author, I'm trying, honestly!* <strong>

**I would like to thank I M Sterling, Aredente Farfalla, Reader-anonymous-writer and Sampdoria for their lovely reviews.**

**I also want to thank everyone who has added this story to either their favorites or their story alerts, I'm glad to see you enjoy the story!  
><strong>

**Once again: I don't own anything you may recognize.**

**And one last thing: I've been working towards this chapter for quite some time and therefore I am aware of the fact that I may actually forget some important details. If it turns out that this happened I will try to weave them into later chapters. Should this be impossible I'll simply have to mention them in the author notes, so please keep reading them.**

**Enjoy chapter 15!  
><strong>

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><p>Chapter 15 – What's done is done II<p>

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><p><em>3rd of May 1998<em>

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><p>Hermione was moving through the deserted hallways as fast as she could. She knew where she wanted to go, but large chunks of stone and rubble prevented her from getting there as fast as she would like. She had to actually climb over piles of stone, wood and broken statues more than once.<p>

All sorts of emotions where running trough her mind, worsened by the adrenaline boost that even now, after the battle was over, ran trough her veins. She passed a part of the castle where the outside wall had been blasted away. She felt cold as she realized that on this spot, only two floors higher, Fred had been killed. She took a deep breath and walked on, not allowing herself to linger on the grim thoughts that flooded her head once more.

She glanced at her watch. Voldemort had only been dead for about an hour, although to her it felt much longer. Most of that time after the battle she had spend in the great hall. Comforting people, making a list of all the people that had died and informing their families. After about twenty minutes the stream of dead bodies being brought into the great hall had finally stalled. Only then people had started to realize just how many lives had been lost. Of course it could have been much worse – they all knew that - but that didn't make the losses any easier to bear.

Hermione had asked Luna and Neville to retrieve the body of Severus Snape and bring it back to the great hall. Neville had looked nervous, as if even the thought of a dead Severus Snape was terrifying to him. Luna had said nothing. She had just given Hermione a dreamy smile, taken Neville's hand, and dragged him along.

Hermione would have gone herself, but Ron hadn't wanted her to go. "C'mon 'mione." He had whined. "I need you here. My brother has just died and you want to go out to find the greasy git?"

Hermione had wanted to scold him. It was obvious to her that Snape had done something very important, even though Harry hadn't yet had the chance to tell them what it was. She also wanted to snap at him for calling Snape 'the greasy git'. The man had died today and deserved more respect than that. However, Ron was now her boyfriend, sort of, and he was right about the fact that his brother had died and that he probably needed her. So she swallowed her pride and comforted him, keeping her thoughts to herself.

Eventually Neville and Luna came wandering back into the great hall. Luna, seeming as absent as ever, didn't walk up to Hermione to report but simply wandered over to one of the long tables and started talking to the people that where seated there. Neville did walk over, his eyes serious, his face flushed. He was still limping a bit so Hermione approached him and met him in the center of the great hall. "We haven't found him." He reported. "There was nothing in the shack. Only a large puddle of blood." He pulled a face. "Do you know what happened there?"

"I do, but could I please explain it to you some other time? I'm going to make sure they didn't put him in the dungeons after all."

"Did you check the lists?"

"It appears that no-one had made a list of deceased death-eaters yet. For now no-one has seen him being brought in. But with this chaos." She gestured around. "Well..there could have been a mistake or something...I know it seems unlikely, but I have to check it to make sure."

"Okay then. Just make sure you stay safe, Hermione." Neville said, looking into her eyes with a worried expression on his face.

"I will. Try to get some rest, okay?" she said.

"I will" Neville agreed, before limping away.

Hermione walked back to Ron. "Ron, I'm going to take a walk around the castle, I need to clear my head. Will you be al right here for a couple of minutes?"

Ron raised his eyebrows in suspicion. "You're not going to the shrieking shack to find the bat, are you?"

"No I'm not. I promise."  
>"Okay then. Do you want me to come with you?" Hermione shook her head. "No, you stay with your family, honestly I won't be gone for long."<p>

Ron nodded.

And so Hermione had started her journey trough the castle. She kept telling herself that she hadn't really been lying to Ron. She _wasn't _going to the shrieking shack.

While she walked trough the castle, the only person she came across was Peeves (for as far as you could call Peeves a person). The poltergeist was singing a very strange song, that, if Hermione hadn't been so focussed on what she had to do, would probably have been funny.

At long last Hermione reached the dungeons, there was no-one there either.

She hesitated in front of her old potions classroom. This was where the corpses of all the death-eaters had been brought to. She took a deep breath, opened the door and stepped inside.

The stench that came towards her was overwhelming. She gagged and could taste the bile in the back of her troth. Hermione was sure that if she had had anything inside her stomach, she would have lost it on the spot. The room smelled of blood, of burned flesh, of body liquids and of more things that she didn't even want to think about. It smelled of death.

However, when she took a look around the room she saw it was empty. Dark stains covered the desks and floor, proving that there had indeed been bodies in here.

"Hermione?" A familiar voice behind her spoke. She turned around to look at Kingsley. The tall dark wizard looked incredibly tired but at the same time he had an aura of authority over him that he hadn't had before.

"Yes Kingsley?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I was hoping to find the body of Severus Snape. No-one seems to have a list of who had been brought in here so I decided to find out myself."

"The bodies have been brought to the ministry just minutes ago. Once all the bodies are identified we'll make a list and see if he's with them."

"But sir..he's innocent, you should know that after what Harry said in the great hall, and..."

Kingsley nodded. "I know. Or well, I believe Harry if he says Snape was on our side. However, right now the ministry's priority is the living, not the dead."

Hermione wanted to argue but Kingsley interrupted her. "Go find Ron and Harry, they need you right now. This is a job for he ministry so I suggest you let us do our job. Have a little faith in the ministry Hermione."

Hermione snorted and Kingsley gave her a tired but amused grin. "Okay, I get your point. Have a little faith in me then?"

Hermione nodded. She didn't trust the ministry but had no reason to not trust Kingsley.

She returned to the great hall. She found Ron near the great doors, or what was left of them, staring at the Hogwarts grounds. "Ron?" Hermione asked. Ron looked at her and his face lit up. "Hermione! I was waiting for you, I thought you might have gone to the shrieking shack after all."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I told you that I wasn't going there."  
>Ron shrugged his shoulders. "Well...I know what you're like when you get obsessed over something. And you seemed kind of obsessed."<br>"Wow, thanks Ron." Hermione replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. there was no reason to inform him that she had, indeed, been looking for the body of Severus Snape.

Ron grinned at her sheepishly before putting an arm around her shoulders (an arm that felt warm, sticky and very uncomfortable) and guiding her back into the great hall.

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><p><em>9th of May 1998<em>

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><p>"...and finally, an Order of Merlin, first class, to Mister Harry Potter. The boy who lived, the chosen one, the man that, after so much darkness, has finally guided us into the light." applause filled the atrium at the ministry of magic. From her spot on the stage Hermione looked out over the hundreds of people and journalists that had been crammed into the large space. She to was clapping her hands, her own Order of Merlin forgotten in her lap.<p>

Harry stood at the front of the stage, flanked by Kingsley, the new minister of magic, who handed him his Order of Merlin. It was strange to see that after everything that Harry had been trough and after so many years of being famous, he still seemed uncomfortable about standing in front of a crowd. The speech that he had held earlier that afternoon was still clasped in his hand, but by now it was severely wrinkled. Hermione made a mental note to buy him a box of paperclips.

Hermione glanced down at the schedule she had made. The next half hour existed of interviews with journalists.

Great.

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><p>Hermione and Ron where being interviewed by about a dozen of journalists. Harry was being interviewed separately. Hermione didn't like that the three of them had to be split up but she understood. After all, Harry was the saviour of the wizarding world and if the three of them where to be interviewed together all the focus would be on Harry anyway. Not that Hermione would have minded that but apparently the papers and the ministry did.<p>

"Miss Granger, is it true that you have been out camping with mister Potter for most of last year?" A journalists from the profit asked.

"Yes, as you have been able to read in our statement earlier this week, that is correct."

"Just the two of you?" the pink clothed witch that reported for Witches weekly asked. Her perfectly manicured eyebrow raised, implying more than her words did. She already annoyed Hermione to no end.

"Well, no, for the longest period of time Ron was there with us as well." She answered, her voice crisp.

"Mister Weasley, why did you leave?" an other reporter asked.

"Well, uh... that's sort of a long story.." The boy said, his face becoming nearly as read as his hair.

"Was it because your girlfriend was having affairs with mister Potter?" The woman from which weakly asked, sanding Ron a dazzling smile that made the boy blush for entirely other reasons.

Hermione, who's patience had already been running thin, felt her temper slip.

"No...that wasn't..._exactly _the case." Ron replied, giving a shaking smile of his own.

Both Hermione and the journalist heard that he didn't entirely deny it either. It was enough to make Hermione snap.

"_Excuse me?" _Hermione spoke, both to Ron and the pink-clothed wench. Her voice sounded calm but the venom in it was clear. "For one, I am here, so don't talk about me as if I'm not. Secondly, there has _never_ been anything between Harry and me, he's like a brother to me – as I have told all of you more than once. And finally; back then Ron and me weren't dating, so even if anything had happened between Harry and me we wouldn't have done anything wrong. Now, I'm done answering your questions as you're obviously not interested in anything even remotely important. Good afternoon" With that she turned on her heel, making her robes bulge in a way that would have made Severus Snape jealous, and left the room. Leaving a bunch of stunned journalists and a shocked-looking Ron behind.

Hermione was fuming. Ever since news about the final battle had spread the golden trio had been covered in fan-mail. they had also been more-or-less stalked by the press. The three of them had spoken about it and in the end decided to simply give out a formal statement. However, when the invitations for today's ceremony had arrived they had come to realize that they probably wouldn't be able to avoid the press forever and decided to create a small half-an-hour press conference instead of being hunted down.

Out of the three of them, Ron seemed to be the only one who didn't mind all the attention. He finally got the recognition he had been wanting for years and it was obvious that he was making the most out of it, much to Hermione's annoyance. At first she had been quite okay with it. She knew how much he had wanted it and how much he deserved it. However, in the past week, every time she had tried to start a conversation about pretty much anything he had been busy answering letters. Hermione would have been able to smell the perfume on most of them from a mile away. She was convinced that she hadn't seen him writing this much in all their years of Hogwarts combined. Last night, when she had tried to bring up the issue of Snape's disappearance he had actually snapped at her. "Merlin, Hermione! Would you finally stop whining about the greasy git? You are supposed to be my girlfriend but all you do is whine."  
>Hermione had snapped back at him about the fact that answering fanmail of female admirers was all he had been doing since they got together. Before she knew it they where in one of their legendary fights once again. An other thing that bothered her was the fact that she wasn't jealous. Ron had accused her of jealousy but after Hermione gave it a proper thought she realized that she was, in fact, not jealous at all, even though she knew she should be. After coming to this realization she had started to doubt their relationship all together. They had rushed into this but it was obvious that, not even a week into their relationship, both of them where asking themselves if they had, in fact, made the right decision.<p>

When Hermione's temper finally cooled somewhat she realized that she had wandered deep into the bowels of the ministry. There were no magical windows on these walls and the only light came from the balls of light that floated against the ceiling every other meter. A sign next to one of the doors showed that she was on the 2nd level of the ministry. Apparently she had gone down a fleet of stairs but she couldn't really remember it. The sign next to the room was labelled 2.08 and even though it didn't give any further information, Hermione felt her heart leap. Earlier that day she had heard some ministry employees complain about the fact that 'Those bloody corpses' where still piled up in room 2.14.

She wasn't entirely sure why exactly she decided to walk to said room. She knew the man had been talking about the death-eater body's and really, there was no use for her to be there. Kingsley had personally sent her the list of who was there, and Severus Snape was not amongst them. Upon reaching the door with the right number she cast a short diagnostic spell. The results surprised her. Not only was this room not warded, it wasn't even locked. She pushed open the door and stepped inside.

Hermione couldn't exactly say why the fact that she was the only living soul in this room felt odd to her.

It wasn't as if she had expected people to come in and pay their last respects to these people just like they they had done in the great hall. However, she had expected something. Perhaps someone checking the names of these people. Or even just someone to stand guard to make sure no-one did anything inappropriate to them. But there was absolutely no-one.

An other thing she found very disturbing was the way these bodies had been displayed. Or rather, tossed on top off desks.  
>As she walked around the room she saw that most corpses had limbs dangling from the desks, some had their mouths wide open, one or two had been torn open by something – probably the giant spiders- and their intestines where sprawled around them as some sort of sick decoration. At least a dozen had been thrown on top of the desks face down. No-one had even bothered to close their eyes.<p>

Hermione wasn't shocked at the sight of dead people. It sounded odd, but this shortly after the battle and with the amount of death and destruction she had already seen, she felt oddly immune to it.

No, the thing that really bothered her was the lack of respect with which the bodies had been simply tossed in here.

Ofcourse, Hermione would be the last person to deny that most of these people had been terrible, twisted, powersick and cruel people. But they had been people nonetheless. They had had lives, family, possibly even children. She couldn't help but think that not all of them could have been truly evil. _"Apart from exceptions_ s_uch as Bellatrix LeStrange" _She thought.

Hermione made a quick round around the room. Once she got to the back she could only conclude that the body of Severus Snape was not in this room. She had known his body wouldn't be here but still she felt somewhat disappointed.

She looked down at the body that was directly towards her left. She had never seen the man's face before. But then again, there had been a lot of people fighting during the battle that she had never seen before. She supposed they had been in Voldemort's outer circles. The man's arms where dangling down the table, his eyes where opened wide and his mouth was slightly ajar. Even in death it was obvious that this man had been terrified. Hermione sighed as she realized what she was about to do. She took her wand from her sleeve and with two short spells the man's hands where laid on his chest and his mouth had been closed. With a gentle brush of her fingertips she closed his eyes. And so Hermione started an other round around the room, flipping corpses over, putting limbs in their right position, spelling intestines back into body's and closing their eyes. She didn't dare to use any cleaningspells on them, afraid to ruin any investigation. She was very grateful for the stasis charm that was on the room, at least it prevented the corpses from rotting.

At least half of the faces in this room looked unfamiliar to Hermione. and from the faces she did recognised she only knew a few by name. She had to swallow down bile when she came across the body of Rodolphus Lestrange. His mask had literally molten to his face, disfiguring it terribly. She also found the bodies of a couple of snatchers and Fenrir Greyback, the latter's skull had been smashed in by one of professor Trelawney's crystal balls. When she was nearly done rearranging the bodies she noticed one other body. It had been thrown in a dark corner of the room, barely standing out against the dark walls. She walked up to it only to stop in her tracks. She would recognise that mass of thick black curls anywhere. Her heart started racing and she mentally slapped herself for it. She should have known that the body of Bellatrix Lestrange would be in this room.

After worrying her lip for a few minutes she decided that she might as well finish what she'd started. She levitated the body onto an empty desk and, after taking a deep breath, walked up to it. Part of her was surprised at what she saw. The wicked grin was still firmly in place on the woman's face but her eyes where staring up at the ceiling and she looked perfectly harmless. An empty shell. Hermione wasn't entirely sure why she had expected to be afraid of a corpse, but was relieved to find that this body wasn't scaring her more than the body of any other death-eater. She closed the woman's eyes and moved to spell her arms onto her chest she noticed two white stains. Hermione didn't understand why they where there. She tried to remember if Bellatrix had been hit by anything during the battle but couldn't come up with anything. She looked back at the stains, glad that there was no-one there to see her staring at Bellatrix Lestrange's breasts. And then it dawned on her. There where _white _stains on the woman's _breasts. _Hermione felt her heart turn cold as she realized what this meant.

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><p><strong>AN: Soo, that's chapter 15. Please review to let me know what you think!**

** Next chapter will be more flashbacks. There is much more that need explaining so it might even take two more chapters.  
>I'm not going to make any promises as to when next chapter will be ready because I seem to break those promises quite often. Trust me if I say I'll try to get it ready as soon as possible. <strong>

**Until next time!  
>Love, LoversCure<strong>

**p.s: I couldn't remember/find any inspirational quotes that fitted this chapter. If you know one that you think fits please sent me a message!**

**| | Please Review! | |**


	16. Chapter 16 What's done is done III

****A/N: To my dear readers:  
>Hello guys! I'm sorry for not having posted anything in quite some time. My life has been a complete mess lately, but that is no excuse. I have neglected you and I am terribly sorry for it. Especially because I left you all with such a cliffhanger.<strong>**

**I want to thank you all for staying loyal to the story, I can't even express how much it means to me!**  
><strong>Oh and a warm welcome to all my new story followers! I'm so glad you all like the story so far and I'm going to do my best to not disappoint you.<strong>

**Special thanks to Lilo, Reader-anonymous-writer, Aredente Farfalla, Sampdoria, Hanny597, Baby Fawn and The Queen of Confusion for their reviews on chapter 15. Keep those reviews coming guys!**

**Love, LoversCure**

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><p>Chapter 16: What's done is done III<p>

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><p><em>There's a song that you can find<br>In every moment of your life  
>In every tear you've ever cried<br>In every painful last goodbye_

_Good Charlotte- Let the music play_

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><p><em>9th of may, 1998<em>

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><p>When Hermione came back from room 2.14 she was very distressed and her mind worked on full speed. She hoped to talk about what she'd just seen to either Ron or Harry but the boys where nowhere to be found. And so she set out to find them.<p>

Eventually she found Kingsley in the atrium close to the fireplaces, saying goodbye to people and thanking them for having been there that day.

"Kingsley, do you know where Ron and Harry are?"

Kingsley looked at her with a worried look in his eyes. Apparently word about her behaviour at the press conference had spread already.

"Harry left with Ginny about half an hour ago. I believe he had been searching for the two of you but when he couldn't find you he thought you might still be in the press conference. He told me to tell you that they where headed towards the Burrow."

"And Ron?"

"I'm not sure about him to be honest. He hasn't left, or else I would have seen him."

"Okay, then I'll just keep looking for him."

After asking some more people she heard that Ron and some reporter had gone into an empty office for a full interview. Hermione thought she knew who that reporter would be and she didn't like it at all.

Her suspicions where confirmed when she reached said office only to find Ron and the pinkclothed reporter – who was now not clothed at all – in a very compromising position.

"So this is what you call a full interview?" Hermione fumed.

"Fuck!" Ron cursed while the blonde reporter quickly distanced herself from him and tried to cover herself with one of the various pieces of clothing that where scattered around the room.

"Yesss." Hermione replied, her voice nothing more then an angry hiss. "I can see that."

She stormed from the room, slamming the door on her way out. She could feel hot tears streaming down her cheeks as she ran back towards the atrium. It didn't matter if anyone saw her crying right now, she just had to get away.

Thankfully she reached the fireplaces without anyone stopping her and she literally dove into one.

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><p><em>11th of may 1998<em>

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><p>"You did <em>what?"<em>Harry gasped, staring at his best friend in disbelief.

Ron cringed. "I know, I know, please don't make me repeat it."

Harry sat down on the second bed in Ron's small room in the burrow. The fact that he and Ginny had gotten engaged only a day earlier didn't mean that Molly Weasley would now allow them to sleep in the same room. However, right now Ginny was sprawled onto Harry's bed, staring at her brother in absolute disbelieve.

"No wonder Hermione didn't want to talk about it. How could you Ron, seriously?"

Ron cringed. "I don't know, I messed up okay, I know I shouldn't have done it but it just happened.

Why can't she just forgive me and get over it. I won't do it again."

"Ronald, you are an idiot." Ginny said, sounding much calmer than she felt "Hermione is an amazing witch who has forgiven you time after time. She even forgave you after you left Harry and her in a tent in the middle of nowhere. And now, only a week into your relationship with this amazing witch, who is way out of your league by the way, you royally mess up. Of course she won't forgive you, I think you're lucky she hasn't hexed you into next week."

"Wow, thanks Gin, that's just what I needed to hear." Ron said, his ears turning red.

"This is most definitely not about what _you _need, Ron. This is about what she needs. You should try and talk to her."

"I don't know where she is. She sold her parents house, that's why we where staying here." Ron whined.

"Well send her an owl or something." Ginny said. "And before you ask, no, I will not go and talk to her. This is your problem, not mine."

"Harry?" Ron whined, looking desperate.

"I'm sorry mate, but I'm with Ginny on this one." Harry said. "You messed up so you need to fix this."

Both Ron and Harry tried to contact Hermione during the following days but they didn't know where she was. She did reply to Harry's owl but her letter was short and only stated that 'if he wanted to know what had happened he could better ask Ron'.

Ron's owls returned with the boy's own letters, unopened.

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><p>Hermione wasn't sad about her relationship with Ron coming to an end. Claiming that things had been working out between the two of them would be lying. However, it hurt that Ron hadn't at least broken up with her before getting involved with someone else. She would have thought that after everything they had been trough it was the least he could have done. It made her feel like she had, once again, been taken for granted. And therefore she responded in the only way she knew – she covered herself in work.<p>

The one good thing about renting a house was that you didn't have to share it with anyone. There was no-one there to nag her about spending to much time in the library, about sleep-deprivation, about needing to eat or about the fact that she was, really, obsessing over this.

The house that Hermione had rented was small but cosy. Hermione had decided that living in a muggle neighbourhood was the best way to prevent anyone from finding out where she was. She didn't want to talk to anyone and she hated the thought of press hanging around on her doorstep. Their stalking would have gotten a lot worse since she and Ron broke up.

Hermione sat down behind the desk in her study. She knew she had gone trough her notes over and over again, but there had to be something she had missed. She knew there was a child. A child that had Bellatrix Lestrange for a mother. Hermione didn't know who the father was. The two most likely men to have sired this child where either Rodolphus Lestrange or Tom Riddle. This made the child an orphan either way. However, Hermione had no clue what had been going on within the deatheater ranks, so it could just as well be someone else.

The child had to have been born before Easter. Hermione would surely have noticed if Bellatrix Lestrange was pregnant when Harry, Ron and she herself had been prisoners at Malfoy Manor.

And that was about it. She didn't know where the child was, or if anyone took care of it. To be honest, she was puzzled by the fact that Bellatrix had allowed the child to come. She hadn't stricken Hermione as the motherly type. An other thing that confused Hermione was that Bellatrix had been able to get pregnant at all. The effects of the cruciatus curse on fertility in both men and women where commonly known. Hermione doubted that she herself would ever be able to conceive,_ something she didn't want to think about_, but Bellatrix had been at the receiving end of the cruciatus curse far more often.

Hermione knew that if no-one took care of the child it would probably have starved to death, but she wanted to find it anyway. Even if the child was dead it deserved a proper funeral. One of the last victims of a ruthless war. Suddenly, without a warning, the answer dawned on her. "Kreacher? Will you please help me?" she asked the very empty room.

Kreacher answered with a loud *crack*

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><p>"Are you sure this is it?" Hermione asked, doubt clearly seeping into her voice.<p>

"Yes Miss, this is being the only Black estate that has people in it. Apart from Grimmauld place that is."

Again Hermione looked at the house. It looked more like an old barn to her, but that might be caused by the fact that they where still outside of the wards.

"But you can't tell me who's inside?"

Kreacher shook his head, making his ears sway from side to side. "Mister Harry Potter has forbidden Kreacher to enter any of old masters' and mistresses' houses, apart from Grimmauld place."

Hermione didn't ask him how he knew that there where people in this house. She assumed it was some kind of house-elf magic.

"And hasn't forbidden you to enter the grounds?"

Again Kreacher shook his head.

Hermione sighed. Harry would be careless enough to not think of that. However, right now she was grateful for it. "Please take me into the wards" she said as she offered Kreacher her hand.

Slowly they walked into the wards, Hermione felt the tingle of ancient magic prickle her skin. It felt as if the magic wanted to attack her, but couldn't because Kreacher was with her. She drew her wand from her sleeve and silently cast a few diagnostic spells to see if there where any booby-traps. They all came back blank, not that that meant anything. "Thank you Kreacher, you can go home now. I'll call you if I need you." Hermione whispered to the elf that was still dutifully at her side. With a deep bow and an unusually soft *pop* the elf disappeared again.

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><p>It turned out the old barn was actually what it had looked like – an old barn. Hermione used a quick but very effective cameoflagespell on herself and went on her way. The path leading up to it was only about twenty meters longer but it still took Hermione about half an hour to get there. Not trusting her own diagnostic spells had turned out to be a good choice. There where several booby-traps around the barn, loose threads that connected like a spider's web. They weren't particularly vicious or dark but they weren't nice either. And they turned out quite hard to dismantle. When Hermione finally reached the barn she stood still and listened. Everything was quiet and if she hadn't known any better she would have thought it was abandoned. However, no-one would protect an old, decaying barn this thoroughly. Hermione slowly pointed her wand towards the door, expecting to hit an other ward or spell, but there was nothing and she could feel the rough texture of the wooden door against her wand. "Alohomora" she whispered. The door clicked. And swung open with a soft squeak that cut trough the silence. Hermione listened again. And then she heard it. A soft whimper, like the mew of a kitten or...a small child.<p>

Hermione's instincts took over and she stepped inside, wanting to make sure this was really a child, wanting to make sure the child was alright, wanting to save it.  
>It only took Hermione's mind a split-second to realize this was a mistake. But it was to late. Before she had the chance to raise her wand she could feel the tip of someone else's pressed against her throat. "Do not move." She heard a familiar voice rasp in her ear.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: So, that's chapter 16. An other cliffhanger, I know *dives behind the couch to avoid being hit by rotten vegetables*. I'm writing chapter 17 as we speak and it will be up as soon as possible (I'm not going to make any promises as to when, because I never seem to keep them anyway)**

**Please, please, please review – even if only to make me feel guilty about not posting this faster.**

**I'll reply to every review (keep in mind that I can't reply to anonymous reviews though.)**

**Love,**

**LoversCure**


	17. Chapter 17 What's done is done IV

**A/N: Please put down the pitchforks and torches. I know I've neglected this story and I know you are all getting really very frustrated and honestly I don't blame you for it. Once again this chapter refused to do what it was supposed to do and it took me ages to get it to behave. And now the good news: One of my classmates is now reading this story so I have someone to nag me in real life about not uploading fast enough. **

**Just to emphasize this once more: Everything you recognise is the lovely work of J.K. Rowling. I only get to play with her world for a little while.**

**Thanks to everyone who reads the story, and a special thanks to Vanity, A, crysta656, maranjade, Reader-anonymous-writer, Guest, lilo, Bella1999, Sampdoria, Cyandor and aredente farfalla for their reviews! You really help me keep this story going guys.**

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><p>Chapter 17: What's done is done IV<p>

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><p><em>Oh brother to brother, all the blood runs red<em>

_Don't roll over, don't play death _

_We're all living on the razor's edge._

_Meat loaf – Razor's Edge_

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><p><em>Before she had the chance to raise her wand she could feel the tip of someone else's pressed against her throat. "Do not move." She heard a familiar voice rasp in her ear. <em>

Hermione felt her heartbeat speed up and blood rush trough her veins as adrenaline took it's course. She slowly turned her head and saw the voice's owner.

Lucius Malfoy looked worse than she had ever seen him. His grey-streaked hair was a mess, his face was dirty and his silver eyes, surrounded by dark circles, seemed almost mad.  
>However, when the man started talking again, his voice sounded alarmingly calm. "Hand over your wand, Miss Granger." He said, as he held out the hand that wasn't holding his own wand.<p>

Hermione quickly scanned the room. It was a small space with a door on the other side, apparently the entrance to an other room. She knew she didn't have much of a choice. Every attempt to make a run for either door, or to refuse this request, would probably result in her being dead on the floor within the blink of an eye.

And so she handed him her wand, even though her entire being protested against it.

"Good. Now tell my why you are here." he said, as he slid her wand in the pocket of his robe.

Hermione quickly rambled up her story, about how she had figured out that Bellatrix must have given birth, about how she thought the child was most likely an orphan and about how she had wanted to find the child and either bury it or bring it to safety.  
>When she looked back to Lucius his eyebrows where raised and he had a very baffled expression on his face.<p>

"And how did you find our location?"

"A friends house-elf told me. Although I would rather not tell you which house-elf it is."

"Very well, and does anyone else know you are here?"

Hermione wanted to answer yes, say that they would come and search for her if she didn't return. "No." . Hermione mentally slapped herself.

Lucius nodded. "Your full name, Miss Granger?" he asked, out of the blue.

Now it was Hermione's chance to raise her eyebrows. "Why do you want to know?"

"I don't think you're in the position to be asking questions. Now, do I need to repeat myself?"

Hermione shook her head. "Hermione Jane Granger" she answered, reluctant. She wasn't sure why he wanted to know, but with his wand still pressed against her throat she couldn't do much but answer.

"All right. Now give me your hand Miss Granger." said Lucius

"I'm sorry?"

"Are you daft girl? Give me your hand."

Hermione slowly reached out a shaking hand and Lucius gripped it firmly at the wrist.

"Now, hold my wrist."

"What are you doing?"

Immediately Hermione felt the wand press more firmly against her throat. "Grab. My. Wrist." Lucius Malfoy hissed at her. "Do it!"

Reluctantly Hermione grabbed hold of Lucius Malfoy's wrist, which was much thinner than she would've expected.

"Darling, could you please come over here?" Lucius asked, never letting Hermione out of his sight.

Hermione had a hard time controlling her expression. Had Lucius Malfoy just called her 'darling?' The man must have really lost his marbles. But then she could hear someone moving in the other room and after a few moments the old wooden door at the end of the small room opened. Hermione watched as Narcissa Malfoy gracefully entered the room. The woman looked just as unhealthy and worn out as Lucius, but her movements were as elegant as ever.

For a few moments she and Lucius conversed in low voices. Even though Hermione was standing very near to them, as she was still holding Lucius' wrist, all she could make out where loose words.

"Have to ..."

"But Luc... only a girl..."

"Remember...protect."  
>At the last sentence Narcissa involuntarily glanced back towards the door through which she had entered. For a moment her face tensed, making her look older than ever, and then she nodded, barely visible.<p>

_Oh god, they're going to kill me_, Hermione thought, feeling her heart sink and her stomach turn to ice. From the corner of her eyes she saw Narcissa moving towards her, wand in hand.

To Hermione's utter surprise the woman didn't point the wand at her heart or head, but pressed it against where her arm and Lucius' arm connected.

Hermione vaguely realized Lucius had started talking again and with a lot of effort she tore her gaze away from the wand and back at him.

"Good, now repeat after me – And don't try to get away, I'm not in the mood to play games." He looked at Hermione to see if she understood. When she nodded he continued. "I, Hermione Jane Granger."

"I Hermione Jane Granger."

"Solemnly swear, not to reveal any information about Lucius Abraxas Malfoy, Narcissa Mirella Malfoy née Black and Esmeraude Michèle Lestrange to the authorities or anyone who might endanger them or who might pass the information on to the authorities, either directly or indirectly.

Again Hermione repeated after him. She saw small strands of light coming from Narcissa's wand. They wrapped around her and Lucius' wrists like ribbons. She recognised it, even though she'd only read about it in books. An unbreakable vow. She felt both worry and relief sweep through her. She would not be able to break this vow without dying, but this far Lucius Malfoy hadn't forced her to make a vow she couldn't keep. If he would, she could simply stop talking and the vow wouldn't take affect. Yes, that meant that she still had to make a run for it, but she wouldn't be of any worse than before the vow. And if the vow didn't get any worse than this, she thought that maybe, just maybe, the Malfoys would let her live.

Just when she wondered what else she would have to promise, the ribbons lit up, before melting into her skin. The vow was completed.

Lucius Malfoy visibly relaxed before her and let go of her wrist. "Thank you miss Granger."

Hermione was to stunned to relax, she just stood there, mouth a jar, eyes wide open with the adrenaline still rushing through her.

The Malfoys however, didn't seem to require a response of any sorts. While Hermione's brain was still processing what just happened they turned around and simply left the room. The sound of the door closing seemed to be the trigger Hermione's brain needed to start functioning again. A million thoughts and feelings rushed over her at once. Relief, curiosity and confusion battled for the upper-hand. She couldn't believe what had just happened. Suddenly she realized her surroundings had gone quiet, the child's whimpers has stopped. Hermione sighed, she didn't know why she did it, it was irrational and illogical, but slowly she started to make her way over to the door through which the Malfoys had left the room. She slowly lowered her hand towards the handle and gently pushed the door open. The door was as old and moulded as the rest of the barn, but oddly enough it didn't make a sound as it opened. Hermione wasn't sure what she had expected, but the scene in front of her was certainly not it. It was homely, there really was no other word to describe it. Narcissa sat in an armchair on the other side of the room. She was softly singing to a bundle of blankets that no doubt held the child. Lucius stood with his back towards her, poking the fire that was in the old fireplace. They looked so comfortable that for a moment Hermione hoped that they hadn't heard her enter and that she could leave the room and this scene in piece. However, the low rumble of Lucius' voice quickly ended that dream. "You know miss Granger, curiosity killed the cat."

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><p><strong>AN: So that's chapter 17. And more good news: Chapter 18 is mostly finished and will be uploaded within the week. (And this time, for once, that's a promise)**

**Please review and let me know what you think. Reviews are the only reward authors get on websites like these, we live of them! **

**Until we meet again.**

**LoversCure**


	18. Chapter 18 What's done is done V

**See? I promised I'd put it up within the week. A big thanks to HP-Lette-Fan, crysta656, Sampdoria, Bella1999, Aredente falfalla and reader-anonymous writer for their reviews. **

**And an even bigger thanks to my beta for making sure I don't post complete non-sense. **

**Once more: Anything you recognise isn't mine (it's J.K.'s) anything you don't recognise is mine (or you haven't read the books)**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Chapter 18: What's done is done V<p>

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><p>"<em>Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different..." C.S. Lewis<em>

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><p>"<em>You know miss Granger, curiosity killed the cat." <em>

"Is that a threat?" Hermione heard herself reply.

The man snorted. "Hardly. Trust me if I threatened you, you would be aware of it. Now either come in or get lost, but don't leave the door open. The house is draughty enough as it is."

Hermione was stunned. She had expected him to send her away, and although he had suggested her to 'get lost', in an odd and rather rude way he had also invited her to come in.

"Now Lucius, where are you manners? I think you have scared the girl enough for one day. She came her with good intentions, and besides, she took an unbreakable vow at your request. The least you can do is be nice to her." Narcissa chided.

"Well you are one to talk about making people take unbreakable vows." Lucius retorted. The moment he said that Hermione could guess from Narcissa's face that he had made a terrible mistake. Narcissa's face went pale and emotionless, apart from her eyes that shone with both anger and pain. "_out"_ she mouthed at Lucius.

"My apologies dear, I shouldn't have said that."

"I. said. out!" she screeched

Lucius seemed to accept he was fighting a loosing battle and quickly retreated to the hall. After he left Narcissa turned her attention to Hermione. "I'm sorry you had to see that miss Granger, I'm afraid you haven't come at the most convenient of times." she said. She smiled at Hermione apologetic, but the glistering of tears in her eyes broke through the polite mask.

"It's okay really." Hermione responded as she slowly made her way over to where Narcissa was seated. Narcissa had bend her head, her hair hiding her face like a golden curtain. The woman's shoulders started shaking just as Hermione reached her. Hermione felt awkward, not sure what to do. Was she supposed to comfort this woman? She had always seen Narcissa as this cold aristocratic woman, but now she saw that image shatter before her eyes as Narcissa broke down. However, Hermione doubted that the great Lady Malfoy would accept to be comforted by her. Just at that moment Narcissa's silent sobs where joined by the much louder wails of the infant in her arms.

"Oh, no, no, no sweetie, not right now, please not right now." Narcissa almost begged to the bundle of blankets in her arms. She clumsily tried to bounce the child but her arms where shaking to much and the baby's wails only increased.

"Shall I take her for a bit?" Hermione offered as she held out her arms towards the child. Narcissa only nodded, seeming to shaken to even consider refusing, and carefully put the bundle of blankets into Hermione's waiting arms. The moment Narcissa let go of the child Hermione pressed it gently against her shoulder and slowly started humming and bouncing on the balls of her feet. The melody she hummed was a muggle lullaby that she remembered her mother humming to her as she was young, and she was glad to find out that it worked on this child as well. The wails were slowly being replaced by hiccups before disappearing all together. Gently Hermione lowered the little girl from her shoulder and cradled into her arms. Hermione looked down, blinked in surprise, and then shook her head at her own stupidity. Really, what had she expected to see? A wicked grin? Flaming eyes? No nose even? Before she had looked down on the child she hadn't even been aware that she had expected something. But her surprise at seeing the child's face made it evident that there had been some sort of expectation. Right now the only thing she could conclude was that this baby girl looked exactly the way a two month old infant was supposed to look. The child wasn't asleep, as Hermione had expected, and she looked into a pair of dark eyes. Esmeraude had inherited her mother eyes, but inside those eyes was not a trace of the anger and malice that had been so evident in Bellatrix's eyes. No, these where the eyes of a baby- curious, innocent, unaware of the evils of the world, and unaware that just her existence could cause an uproar in the wizarding world. Hermione felt an intense sadness as she realized that no matter what this child did with her life, no matter what the people around her did for her, this baby girl would always be judged and looked down on in wizarding Britain, simply because of her parentage, simply because she existed.

Suddenly the girl's face scrunched up again and before Hermione knew it Esmeraude was crying again, red spots appearing on her face while she whimpered. Hermione started bouncing her again but this time it didn't seem to work.

"Don't worry, it's not you, she's just hungry." She heard Narcissa wisper.

As Hermione looked over to her she realised that Narcissa had pulled herself together again, she looked exhausted but apart from her red-rimmed eyes there was no sign left that showed that she had been crying. "What do you feed her?" Hermione asked.

"We've been feeding her baby formula. But we're almost out. We've tried to create more of it by magic just like we do with other food, but for some reason Esmeraude refuses to drink it if it's not the original stuff. Stubborn child." There was no malice behind those last words. The worry in Narcissa's voice was evident and Hermione couldn't blame her for it. If they couldn't make more it meant that Narcissa and Lucius where forced to either go outside to get more or to watch Esmeraude starve to death. The child was far to small to eat 'normal' food.

"Have you been feeding her muggle baby formula?" Hermione asked, barely able to keep the surprise from her voice.

"Well yes. My sister wouldn't have it of course. While she was still alive she would extract her own milk and I would feed it to Esmeraude. But now that my sister is no more we have no other option."

"Why didn't Bellatrix feed Esmeraude herself?"

Narcissa chuckled, but there was no humour in it. "She wouldn't have anything to do with Esmeraude. The only reason she allowed her to come in the first place was because her beloved master forced her to. When she found out she was pregnant she went to him and requested for the child to be _removed._" There was a lot of venom behind that last word. "It took him a few days to decide but eventually he decided that no pure blood should be spilled, unborn or not. The child was taken away from Bella the moment she was born. My sister wouldn't look at her, wouldn't even name her. Lucius and I named her and took over the care for her. I have seen her as my own from the minute she was born."

"I see" Hermione replied. It made sense, Bellatrix had been many things, but most definitely not a mother. Hermione doubted that the woman had even been capable of feeling at all. "So when shall I bring the baby formula?" she asked.

Narcissa gave her a relieved smile. "How did you know I was going to ask?"

"I didn't. But it makes sense. You obviously can't go out, and neither can Lucius. So it's either asking me or letting Esmeraude starve to death. I think the first makes far more sense, don't you think."

Narcissa laughed, an honest laugh, if still a bit fragile. "You are not one to beat around the bush, are you miss Granger?"

"Absolutely not." Hermione said, returning the smile. "Shall I return in an hour or so?"

"Yes, that's all right. You can disapparate from here, the anti-apparation wards only work one way. Send up purple sparks when you return, so Lucius can lower the wards."

"I will." Hermione said before exciting the room. In the hallway she nearly bumped into Lucius. It was obvious he had been listening in on their conversation and he gave Hermione a weak smile as she walked past him, she acknowledged him with a curt nod.

"Miss Granger?" He called after her when she had almost reached the door. Hermione turned around and saw Lucius pointing his wand in the air. Outside she could hear the rustling of magic as the wards fell once again. "Thank you." He said.

"I don't really have a choice now, do I?" Hermione replied. "I might not like you very much, but I definitely won't let an innocent child starve to death because of that."  
>-<p>

Little over an hour later Hermione found herself back in the barn and seated on an old armchair, watching Narcissa who was completely focussed on the child in her arms. The baby formula was a success and Esmeraude was now contently drinking from the feeding bottle Narcissa held. "So why are you staying here, rather than at the manor?" Hermione asked.

The short answer came from Lucius who was sitting on the armrest of Narcissa's chair. Apparently he had made things up to Narcissa whilst Hermione had been gone. "It's to dangerous right now."

"Why, I thought the manor was protected by ancient wards? I doubt that ministry can break into them, even though Voldemort has disappeared"

Hermione noticed both Lucius and Narcissa shudder at the name of their past master, but neither of them said anything about it. "True, but if they are given access to it wards don't do much good."

"Who could give them access to..." And then it dawned on her. "Draco?" she asked, unable to keep the surprise from her voice. Both Malfoy's nodded.

"He has turned himself in" Lucius said. "And in our absence that means he can let anyone into the manor, including people from the ministry."

"Can't he just refuse to give them access? I'm not an expert on wizarding law, but I don't believe there is much the ministry could do against that."

"Not every wizard can fight of imperio, miss Granger."

Hermione gasped. "They wouldn't!"

"Of course they would. At this moment ex-deatheaters have less legal rights than house-elves in Britain. It is not as if anyone is going to ask questions. The ministry can do as they please."

"So why didn't you stay in the manor? I'm sure that would refuse them access."

"It would. It would also give the ministry and anyone else our exact location. The wards around Malfoy manor might be legendary, but in the end any ward can be broken. If the ministry prosecutes Draco they loose the right to enter the manor all together. That's when we'll return."

"So you just sit by while your son is being prosecuted?"

"What else is there for us to do?" Narcissa asked, her voice was shaking and tears where streaming down her face once again.

Hermione realized she was right. Both her and Lucius would be captured and sentenced to take the kiss the moment they set foot outside. "Hold on a second... If Draco is captured by the ministry, why haven't I heard anything about that? You'd think that they would want the entire country to know they have caught a suspected death-eater?"

"They have caught a scared teenage boy who's only fault was wanting to protect his family. The moment this gets out people that fought on your side during the war might jump to his defence. The ministry is terrified of the boy-who-lived hearing about this. No, it's easier for them to keep this quiet until after the trial. Besides, if the ministry admits they keep Draco in Azkaban they will also have to admit that they don't have a clue where the two of us are."

Hermione felt sick. "I'll owl Harry about this as soon as I can. I can't let this happen."

"And how will you explain how you know about this?"

"I'll think of something. I could even sent him an anonymous owl if I have to."

"Wouldn't he recognise your handwriting? Having to explain how you know this would put you in a rather dangerous situation.

Hermione shrugged. "I'll just make sure to alter my handwriting. I doubt Harry would notice."

"Fair enough. Tea?" Lucius asked, holding up the box containing muggle tea bags that Hermione had brought alongside the baby formula and some other food.

"Yes please."

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><p><strong>AN: So, are we getting sick of the flashback yet? Only a few more, I promise.**

**Please keep reviewing, your reviews mean the world to me! (no really, every time my phone buzzes because I get a new e-mail I'm overly excited. Make my day! Review! Please!)****  
><strong>

**I'm working on next chapter, but I have a gazillion exams coming up this week and the next. It might be here thise week or next week, it might not. I'll try not to make you wait to long!**

**Love, LoversCure**


	19. Chapter 19 What's done is done VI

**A/N: Hi everyone! **

**First of all I want to apologize to everyone who has reviewed last chapter and to whom I did not send a personal reply. Normally I always respond to every review, but life got in the way. I promise that I will start to respond to the reviews again next chapter. If you do want a personal respond to your review on last chapter please send me a pm.**

**Even though I did not always personally reply, I do want to thank the following people for their reviews: xiaoj, A Pirate By Any Other Name, Waterwolfwritter, HP-Lette-Fan, Reader-anonymous-writer, Bella1999, mysticpammy, opera777, LittlebigmouthOKC, lilo, aredente farfalla, I M Sterling and Sampdoria.  
>I can't even begin to express how much the reviews mean to me.<strong>

**Now, go ahead and enjoy chapter 19!**

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><p>What's done is done VI<p>

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><p>"<em>Hell is empty and all the devils are here." - William Shakespeare<em>

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><p>Over the next couple of days Hermione kept visiting the barn at least once a day to bring food, the Daily Prophet and whatever news she could find out about Draco. Harry had jumped on the case, just like she had predicted, and the ministry was now squirming to not loose the little bit of good reputation that they had only built up recently. Hermione knew that there would still be a conviction and that Draco would very likely be sent to Azkaban. It was something she didn't like but there was nothing to be done about it. Draco's motivation to do the things he did was something most people could understand, especially from a teenage boy. However, it could not be denied that he had in fact done the things he was accused of and, according to the public, he could have still made different choices. No, Draco would not be given the kiss, and with the great saviour of the wizarding world coming to his rescue he would probably not be convicted to a life sentence in Azkaban either, but he would be punished. Even the wizarding world's golden-boy could do nothing about that.<p>

Now that the lives of both their son and their daughter had been more or less saved -for now – Lucius and Narcissa where a lot less tense than they had been. They where kind to Hermione whenever she came to visit and Hermione found that she actually got along with them quite well. There where a lot of things they didn't talk about. The war and especially the Malfoys involvement in it was carefully avoided in every conversation by both them and Hermione. Hermione wasn't sure if she would still be able to convince herself to help them out if she knew exactly what crimes they had committed during the war. And honestly, she didn't want to know. She was here for Esmeraude, and that was it.

Hermione was sitting in the armchair nearest to the fireplace. Narcissa was in the other chair, feeding Esmeraude. The girl had become much more happy and active now that she ate properly and waved her tiny fists around while she nursed. Lucius was trying – and failing – to open a can of tomato soup. Hermoine knew she should really go and help him, but the man was far too stubborn to ask for help, and if Hermione was completely honest she was having far too much fun watching him struggle. She had never suspected Lucius would cook, but Narcissa stubbornly resisted doing it and his pride seemed to prevent him from asking Hermione. Seemingly out of nowhere the roof started shaking, at first it was barely noticeable, but within half a minute dust was falling down from the ceiling. Both Hermione and Narcissa looked up at Lucius who had gone death pale and had stopped moving. It took Hermione only half a second to jump from her chair, wand aimed at the door. Lucius stood with his back towards them, also with his wand in his hand. He didn't turn around as he whispered to them. "Get out. Now. Narcissa, we'll have to take the risk, apparate to the manor. Hermione, please take Esmeraude and bring her to wherever you deem safe. I'm not risking her safety."

"Why don't you two come with me as well? They'll never guess that."

Lucius gave her a grim smile. "They might not guess it, but death-eaters can sense each other through the mark on some level. If these people are who I think they are, doing that would endanger both you and Esmeraude. Now go!"

Hermione nodded. She walked over to Narcissa and took Esmeraude from her. While cradling the child against her chest she started swirling around. From the corner of her eye she could see both Lucius and Narcissa doing the same. But she couldn't apparate, the air had somehow become solid. Hermione remembered the feeling. It felt exactly the same as trying to apparate in Hogwarts, the same way it had felt in Hogsmade during the war. Someone had put up spells to prevent them from apparating. They where trapped.

Outside she could hear the wards snap one by one, it sounded like the strings of a musical instrument being cut. Both Narcissa and Lucius where making complicated wand movements, she could hear them chant in Latin and runes started to light up all around the room, but almost as soon as the runes appeared they crackled and faded away. "They are using very dark magic." Lucius mumbled, more to himself than to everyone else. He raised a shield charm so strong it made the air shake, but the moment the intruders entered the barn the first crack in the shield appeared. Hermione felt the adrenaline surge through her body, making her heart race and her stomach turn. She laid Esmeraude down on the armchair behind her and covered the chair with the strongest shielding and concealment charms she knew. It wasn't much but right now it was all she could do. Now that she had both her arms free she stepped in front of the chair, shielding Esmeraude with her body, blocking her from vision. She aimed her wand at Lucius' shield charm. She tried to patch it up but just as soon as she repaired one crack, more cracks appeared. She could feel her wand vibrate, smelled the dark magic in the air, tasted its acid flavour on her tongue. Whoever did this was not too worried about damaging their soul. And then the door to the room burst open. "Good afternoon Lucius." A hoarse male voice sounded as a dark figure stepped inside the room, shattering the shield charm all together with only a flick of his wand.

"Rabastan." Lucius replied. Even under these circumstances his voice didn't quiver. He still stood in front of Narcissa, Hermione and Esmeraude. "Ah, and I see you have brought Nott along." Lucius continued as a second figure moved into the room. Hermione recognised him as Theodore Nott's father and remembered having seen him during the final battle. The second man only grunted, he looked as angry and mad as Rabastan, but far less comfortable with being there.

"Interesting company you keep Lucius." Rabastan said while his eyes stayed focussed on Lucius. "Your traitorous bitch of a wife and a filthy mudblood."

"I'd prefer it if you didn't use those terms to describe my wife, or our guest, for that matter." Hermione had to admit she was impressed with his calm behaviour. She could still feel the black magic waving from Rabastan's wand, and it made her shake to her very core.

"I'm sure you would. Now step out of the way so I can finish them of."

Right at that moment Esmeraude started wailing, frightened by the waves of dark magic that where everywhere in the room. Hermione felt the blood drain from her face and cursed herself for not thinking to use a silencing charm around the child.

Rabastan shortly angled his head towards Nott, but kept his wand pointed at Lucius. Nott understood that order and with a flick of his wand cancelled the concealment charms Hermione had put up.

"Well, well, well. What have we here?" Rabastan said. The anger clear in his voice. "I thought you would have finished that damned brat off by now."  
>Narcissa gave an involuntary gasp at this terrible comment.<br>"Ah, yes, I should have known you where a weakling. You always give in to your wife's every whim. You are a weakling Lucius." Rabastan said, emphasising his statement and showing his disgust by spitting on the ground.

"You are delusional Lestrange. Anyway, I assume you understand I will not let you take her?"

"Take her? You honestly don't believe I would want to keep the child of my insane sister-in-law alive, do you?"

"Well, I was hoping you would, actually."

"Well Lucius, then I think you are the one delusional, not me. Now if it had been a boy, it could have been a nice Lestrange heir. But a girl? Worthless! Now, I'm done with the chatting, last chance to get back to the side you belong. Step aside or I will kill you off like I'll kill them.

Lucius shook his head and raised the shield charm again.

"Now Lucius, that was a very foolish decision, we could have used you on our side, with so few of us left. But alas." Rabastan pointed his wand again and almost immediately the shield charm started to crack and crumble again.

Lucius started talking in a voice so low that Hermione could hardly hear him over the buzzing the magic made, "Ladies, I'm going to need your help here. The shield charm is only going to last seconds. Try to take out Nott. He may seem to be doing little right now, but I think that's because Rabastan is using his magic. It would explain why it's so strong. I'll try to keep Rabastan in check, but watch your backs. If the opportunity appears, take Esmeraude and run, don't look back, don't come back for the others. That goes for both of you." Just as Lucius finished talking his spell chattered, and within seconds the battle emerged in full force. Hermione tried to do what Lucius had said but it appeared that Rabastan was fighting for both him and his companion, having thrown a shield charm around Nott. Within seconds Hermione made a decision and turned her focus on from Nott to Rabastan. She might not be able to take him out, but if she could distract him enough Lucius might be. Or his attention might slip enough to allow Narcissa to take Nott out. It was their only shot. Rabastan and Lucius where duelling full force, paying no attention to her. Rabastan hissed in pain as Hermione's cutting hex sliced his wand-arm. The force of the spell had been strong enough to slice his arm clean of, but apparently he too was protected by spells and it only left a shallow cut. It did however cause his anger to spike. Magic waved from his wand and blew Lucius, who was closest to him, against the wall, where he stayed, unconscious. "You filthy little mudblood!" Rabastan yelled, turning towards her now that Lucius was no threat to him anymore. "I'm going to kill you, I'm going to cut you open, tear your filthy guts out and drown you in your own dirty blood." Hermione felt her stomach turn. She still had her wand pointed at Rabastan, and her mind raced at top speed. She made her decision in the blink of an eye. Hermione had never aimed to kill. She wasn't sure if she had accidentally killed someone during the final battle, but she had always at least tried to incapacitate them rather than kill them. However, right at this very moment she found that she could not care less what happened to the man as her instincts took over, firing spell after spell, hex after hex. She could feel the man's quickly conjured shield spell give way. Only one stronger spell would be enough to break it. Hermione pointed her wand directly towards the man's face. Rabastan's response was quick, non-verbal. His hex pierced straight through his own shields and hit Hermione directly in the chest. For a moment Hermione just stood there, paralysed with shock. She was still alive. Had Rabastan's spell not worked? She wondered. And why didn't she respond? This was her opportunity! But then she felt it, her skin opening up, being pulled apart rather than cut. Her ear piercing shriek echoed through the small room as she fell to her knees before keeling over backwards. Hot blood poured from the wounds on her chest and belly, drenching her clothes within seconds. The agonising pain was almost enough to block everything else out. Hermione willed herself to stay conscious, her vision was blurry and her muscles where unresponsive as she just lay there, vulnerable, defenceless.

"Avada Kedavra". Hermione could make out Narcissa's quiet voice as the bright flash of green pierced the air and set the room ablaze in green light for only a moment. There was the undeniable thud of a body hitting the wooden floor. It was followed by a scream of anger from Rabastan. For a split-second Hermione felt relief sweep through her, Narcissa had followed Lucius' instructions, Nott was dead. She wasn't sure how she did it, but she managed to scoot a few meters back, using the distraction to reach Esmeraude. Her head was fuzzy from pain and blood loss, but the small part of her brain that still functioned cheered that now that Nott was dead, Rabastan would be far less strong. She turned her head to where Lucius had been smashed against the wall. He was still unconscious but seemed to be mostly undamaged. Hermione didn't have enough physical strength left to raise her arm, she was gasping for breath from the little strain it had cost to move backwards. Instead she left her hand on the floor and merely turned her wrist so that pointed her wand towards Lucius. Her 'enervate' was non-verbal, but worked perfectly. Lucius' eyes shot open immediately and Hermione felt relieved. Her magic was still functioning even if her body was not. And Lucius could still fight, they could win this.

However, her relief was short lived as she saw an other bright flash of light and Narcissa was blown across the room, her limbs swaying everywhere like a rag doll. The woman fell to the floor only half a metre from Hermione. Narcissa didn't scream, but that was not because she didn't try. A muffled noise left the woman's throat as small trails of blood emerged from the corners of her mouth. From the corner of her eye Hermione saw Lucius launch forward and suddenly he and Rabastan where battling. Spells where erupting from the men's wands so fast that it was impossible to tell who fired which. Hermione turned her head back to Narcissa. There was no mess, no external damage. Whatever damage the spell had done was internal – and therefore probably a thousand times worse. Hermione watched in horror as Narcissa Malfoy's eyes rolled back in her head and the woman's body started convulsing, causing more blood to poor from her mouth. There was nothing left to do. With the last of her power Hermione reached behind her and grabbed Esmeraude, pulling her from the chair and behind her back. If Rabastan wanted to get the child he would literally have to do it over her dead body. With her other arm she reached towards Narcissa and managed to grab the woman's robes. Hermione concentrated, preparing to disapparate the second she felt the anti-apparation wards fail, _if_ they failed. Now all she could do was pray. Pray Lucius would win this battle. He was the last of them capable to fight. If he lost, they where all doomed. The battle between the two men went on for what felt like hours but was probably only fifteen minutes. By that time Lucius was limping and bleeding heavily from a gaping cut that went from his jaw, across the side of his neck and down to his chest. The spell that had caused it had only barely missed his carotid artery. Rabastan was limping as well and several cuts and burns could be seen through tears in his robes. Suddenly Esmeraude gave a loud wail. Rabastan, who was not used to the infants cries, was distracted. His distraction lasted only a second, but for Lucius that was enough. His spell hit Rabastan square in the chest before the man could counter it. Hermione felt the grip of Lucius Malfoy's hand around her wrist and the pull of side-along apparation the very second Rabastan Lestrange's body hit the floor.

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><p><strong>AN: So, that was chapter 19. we have passed the 50.000 words mark! and you are still reading this! I am incredibly flattered.**

**I'll make sure to upload next chapter a.s.a.p. because I feel it would be cruel to keep you guys hanging here. (might take a few days though)**

**Please please please review! I promise to respond to them. Also, if there is anything you'd like to say about the story that you don't find appropriate for the reviews - just PM me, I'm very approachable and don't bite (hard).**

**Love!**

**LoversCure**


	20. Chapter 20 What's done is done VII

**A/N:**

**Hello and welcome to chapter 20!**

**First things first; **

**a big thanks to Vampyerlover, HP-Lette-Fan, Cyador, Waterwolfwritter, xiaoj, Reader-anonymous-writer, lilo, Sampdoria, A Pirate By Any Other Name, aredente farfalla and 2 guests for their reviews.**

**I'm amazed to see how loyal some of my reviewers are and I cherish each and every review I get. You are all such amazing people!**

**Second: A big thanks to my beta who so loyally prevents me from making a fool of myself chapter after chapter. Thank you for continuously putting up with my horrible spelling mistakes.**

**Third: I don't own anything other than my own imagination. I am just playing with the magical world and characters that J.K. Rowling so beautifully created.**

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><p>What's done is done VII<p>

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><p><em>This is the place. Stand still, my steed,<em>

_ Let me review the scene,_

_And summon from the shadowy Past_

_ The forms that once have been._

_The Past and Present here unite_

_ Beneath Time's flowing tide,_

_Like footprints hidden by a brook,_

_ But seen on either side._

_A Gleam of Sunshine – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)_

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><p>"Miss, the master is being asking for you, he says it's urgent. Are you being well enough to get up?" a squeaking voice asked<p>

Hermione opened her eyes and nearly shut them again as the light of the room caused her head to start pounding. Why did this room need to be white instead of something darker? She groaned and pushed herself into a sitting position. Immediately the room in front of her became a blur and exploding white bulbs of light crept around the edge of her vision. In her attempt to steady herself Hermione took a deep breath. "Ow!". Nope she definitely shouldn't have done that. A sharp pain shot through her barely mended ribs and it made her cringe in pain. She suspected at least four of them had been broken during the attack, and even though they had been magically healed, they where still very sore.

After a few seconds most of her vision returned and Hermione felt good enough to attempt to move again. Carefully she moved the white crisp sheets that covered her. The first thing she noticed where the small stains of blood that where on the inside of her sheets. She looked down at her body. There wasn't much to be seen. The deep cuts that where running across her chest and abdomen where hidden from sight by the bandages that covered her entire torso. She could see the large stains where the blood had soaked right through them - again- causing the stains on her blankets. Most of her other injuries had healed rather well, only leaving aches and pink scars that where almost gone already. However, the bloody results of Rabastan's hex had turned out rather impossible to heal.

She reached out for the long nightgown that had been laid next to her bed. More pain told her that her ribs and chest didn't agree with that either. Ignoring this she pulled the gown down over her bushy hair and let it fall down her body to cover herself.

Hermione felt another bout of pain as she swung her legs over the edge of the enormous bed and yet another one as she hoisted herself to her legs. She had shattered one of her kneecaps when she had fallen to the floor and even though it had partly healed, it ached under her weight. Hermione ignored it. She hadn't seen nor heard of Lucius, Narcissa or Esmeraude ever since the four of them had been slammed against the floor tiles of the entry hall of Malfoy Manor. That had been yesterday. Hermione didn't remember much after that. She thought she remembered hearing Lucius calling out for the house-elves right before she fainted of blood loss. Next thing she remembered was waking up in the room she was in now. It had been night and there had been half a dozen elves running around the candle-lit room, trying to patch her up and making her drink blood replenching potions and Merlin-knew-what. She had been worried about the others, but the elves had refused to give her any information, insisting that "Miss should rest and recover and not worry. Worry not good for Miss." The next potion they had administered her had obviously been a sleeping potion of sorts and once again Hermione had been knocked out cold. After she had woke up in the morning these procedures had been repeated. But now one of the elves had come to collect her from her rooms, wanting her to get up rather than trying to keep her in bed. That couldn't be a good sign, could it?

The elf that had that had woken her up hovered around her as Hermione stood on shaky legs, clearly prepared to catch her if she should fall.

"Yes, if it's urgent I think I am well enough to go to him. Would you please take me?" Hermione asked, stubbornly ignoring the angry pounding of her head and reaching out for the pale pink dressing robe that hung over a chair.

After she had fastened it around her waist, taking care to not tighten it to much over her wounds, she put her hand into the elf's waiting hand. The room went dark and she felt a slight discomfort in her lungs. When she opened her eyes once more she found herself in a dark hallway. She was grateful that side-along apparation wasn't half as bad as it would have been if it had been a wizard who took her. Her ribs would have surely cracked again under the pressure.

Hermione became aware of the freezing cold sensation under her feet and realised they where bare and standing on stone. "I forgot to put footwear on!"

The elf shook its head and tugged her hand. "There is not being time to collect your shoes miss. Master has told Ashy to hurry. And master is not having time to notice absence of footwear."

The elves ears hung down a bit at its last statement and his eyes showed an incredible sadness. Hermione felt a lump rising in her throat and her stomach grew cold. The defeated composure of the house-elf showed just how little hope there was. Quietly she allowed the elf to guide her towards one of the doors. As if sensing their approach the door opened and a miserable looking Lucius Malfoy stepped out into the hallway. His black robes where wrinkled, and his hair was lose and messy. An angry red stripe ran from the side of his face down all the way into the robes. It looked similar to the ones that covered Hermione's body and a small dark spot on the collar of his robes showed that this one refused to stop bleeding as well. The man looked paler than usual which stood in clear contrast to his bloodshot eyes. As soon as he closed the door behind him is facial expression became even graver. Hermione recognised the devastation in his expression, she had seen it one to many times during the war. She walked up to him, slightly limping because her knee still refused to work with her. Her footsteps fell to a halt at about a meter away and she looked up at him. Lucius' eyes showed a pain that went so deep that Hermione could only imagine what the man had to be feeling right now. It was the last confirmation she needed, to know that the situation was hopeless indeed.

"She asks for you."

His voice sounded thick and was almost a rasping sound.

Hermione felt confused but decided for once in her life not to ask questions. Instead she nodded and limped over towards the door. She had no clue as to why Narcissa would want to speak to her.

Once she had closed the door behind her she looked around the room and noticed the bed that stood in the middle of it. In the centre of it was a small figure that was almost as pale as the sheets that covered her. Hermione only needed one look to know that the situation was, indeed, hopeless.

Narcissa Malfoy was dying. Her skin was pale and had a greyish shade to it. Her long blonde hair clung to her sweat-covered face and a small stream of blood still seeped from between her lips. At the sound of Hermione's entry she opened her eyes. They did not look hostile or arrogant, they merely looked worried and very sad. The pain that she carefully repressed in her face was visible in the depths of her eyes.

"Hermione, thank you for coming."

Hermione was amazed by the amount of dignity the Narcissa managed to show.

"You asked for me." the younger woman explained. She realised she felt very uncomfortable, what did one say to a dying woman? Especially to this woman. Hermione was well aware that she barely knew anything about her.

"Ah yes, and no-one denies a dying woman anything." Narcissa answered, her voice barely more than a hoarse whisper, feeble and broken.

Narcissa saw the blood leave Hermione's face and continued a little more carefully, trying not to spook the young girl even more.

"I'm sorry dear. I did not mean to shock you. Won't you please sit down?" She pointed in the direction of the chair that stood next to her bed.

After a few seconds Hermione trusted her legs enough to attempt to walk and she shakily sat down.

Once she was seated Narcissa Malfoy reached out and took Hermione's hand. Hermione looked at the woman's hand over hers, avoiding eye contact

Narcissa noticed. "Hermione." she said, "Hermione will you please look at me."

Hermione knew she was being silly and raised her head. She looked Narcissa in the eye, brown meeting blue.

"Hermione, I know I barely know you but I have something to ask of you."

The girl nodded. "You're free to ask me anything, I owe you a lot. I owe you my life. And Harry's life. And because of that probably many other lives as well."

"I don't think you owe me anything. If Lucius and I had found the courage to do what was right before it was too late, a lot of bad things could have been prevented."

Hermione shook her head. "I don't think so, there would have been others in your place. You found the courage in the end. That's all that matters."

"Perhaps." Narcissa didn't sound convinced but she sounded hopeful. As if she really wanted to believe it.

"Hermione, what I am going to ask of you is a terrible thing to ask, especially of a girl as young as you are. But I feel I have no choice. There is no-one else that I can ask such a thing of and even though I barely know you I think I can trust you. But before I ask, you have to promise me you won't say no before you hear everything I have to say."

Hermione nodded.

"Please say it out loud, Promise me you'll listen."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. Could whatever Narcissa wanted to ask of her really be that bad? "I promise."

The woman sighed. "All right... Hermione, I want to ask you to marry Lucius after I pass."

Hermione felt as if she had been slapped in the face. This had to be a joke. Narcissa couldn't ask this of her. It was simply ridiculous and besides, it didn't make sense. Why would this woman ask her to marry her husband once she herself was dead? Lucius didn't like her any more than she liked him. They had been polite to each other, yes, but for both of them that had been about Esmeraude. He was a former death-eater for Merlins sake. He would surely be arrested at some point which would mean his life would be over and...

Suddenly something in her mind clicked and the pieces came together. And then Esmeraude would be left behind, again.

"Hermione, are you all right?" Narcissa asked, seeing the girl become even paler than she already was.

"I am not sure" Hermione answered in all honesty. Was she all right? Of course not. Every piece of her mind screamed at her to say no, but she had promised the woman she would listen, and if it was about Esmeraude, than at least the girl deserved a fair chance.

"This is about Esmeraude, isn't it?"

"Yes it is."

"Well, I don't want to sound rude or anything, but why doesn't he just take the girl and make a run for it? The war didn't spread far across our borders. I'm sure they could just move to France or something and they would be pretty much anonymous."

Narcissa shook hear head, her face all sadness again. Her hands where shaking as she picked up the wet cloth that lay beside her bed and slowly wiped away the blood that was still trickling down her face, to prevent it from staining the bed any more than it already had. It seemed a very pointless thing to do.

Then she returned her attention back to Hermione, answering her question.

"They could. Don't think I haven't tried to convince Lucius to do something like that. But Lucius refuses. To be honest he has been a mess for ages. He wants to turn himself in as soon as he has everything sorted out."

"What?...He can't do that! That is sure going to be the death of him."

"Yes, it will be."

"But…What about Esmeraude? And Draco? He can't just leave them behind like that!"

Hermione felt the horror go through her stomach. True, she had never liked Draco nor Lucius all that much, but Draco hadn't chosen his faith and he didn't deserve this. And poor Esmeraude, the girl was only a few months old!

"That's where you come in. Lucius thinks Draco will take care of Esmeraude. He doesn't seem to understand Draco is only a kid himself."

"You do realise that I am Draco's age, don't you?" Hermione squeaked, her voice finally breaking under the panic.

"I do" Narcissa replied, surprisingly calm. "But you are more mature than Draco. Draco has never had to take care of himself. I will admit that that is probably my fault, but still. Losing both his parents will be hard and I don't think he is capable of taking care of an infant in the first place. I know what I ask of you, and I know I shouldn't, but you really are my last hope."

"I see." Hermione replied. "Can I think about it?"

Narcissa gave her a weak smile, her energy almost visibly disappearing. "Of course. But there isn't much time. I have to ask you to make a decision fast. I need to know Esmeraude and Draco will be okay. I need to know they'll be safe."

Hermione nodded, she had the strange feeling this wasn't just about Esmeraude and Draco. Part of her felt that Narcissa hoped she could somehow save Lucius as well. No. that was ridiculous...

"Can I ask you a few questions before I make a decision?"

"Yes, of course. You have the right to ask questions, ask whatever you want."

"Esmeraude...is she..._his_ daughter?" Hermione didn't think it mattered, not really. She believed everyone made their own decisions, no matter who your parents where. But still.

"No she isn't. He thought of that as well, so he did the research. It turns out that your entire soul has to be inside your body to be able to have children. Yes, it can be torn, but all the pieces need to be there. And besides, he wouldn't have allowed her to live if she was his."

Hermione felt a slight bit of relief at the first statement but was shocked by the second. She couldn't imagine killing your own child, no matter how messed up you where. "Why...?" She started.

"A child would have only been a threat to him. He was planning to live forever so he didn't need an heir. A child could have attempted to take its fathers place. That's a risk he wouldn't have taken."

"I see."

"Any more questions?"

"A lot, I will try to keep to the major ones though."

Narcissa smiled.

"What does your husband think about this?"

"I haven't spoken to Lucius about this yet, but I don't think he'll disagree. You can leave that one to me."

"I see. So what exactly do you expect of me if I do agree?"

"I was hoping you would adopt Esmeraude as your own. Of course you would have access to everything that comes with the Malfoy name. Even if something should happen to Lucius.

I don't expect you to share a bed with Lucius. You can have your own rooms within the manor. Actually, I think the manor is big enough for the two of you to avoid each-other all together. Although it would be a huge relief to know you keep an eye on him."

Hermione nodded. "And Draco?"

"Of course you won't have to be a mother to him or anything. The boy is an adult. I am not sure how he will respond to this. I hope Lucius will have enough time to explain everything to him. And I'll write him a letter, just in case."

After this Narcissa closed her eyes and made a face. She was loosing her composure as the pain worsened. Narcissa had little time left and she was well aware of it.

"I am making this sound like a business offer, I am sorry. You have to understand that if there was any other way I wouldn't ask this of you in the fist place. I don't like to admit it Hermione, but I'm desperate."

"I understand". Hermione took a deep breath. "I'll do it." She said, effectively silencing her rambling mind.

"What?" Narcissa asked softly. She honestly seemed surprised.

"If you don't make it I'll marry Lucius and adopt Esmeraude."

A very genuine smile broke through Narcissa's mask of pain. Her eyes sparkled with relief. "Thank you Hermione, I cannot even begin to tell you how much that means to me."

"Are you feeling well enough to talk it over with Lucius? I don't want to do it but if you are not feeling up to it I will"

"I am not felling well enough to do anything dear, but I don't expect him to take this well and so I think it best that I speak to him about it." again there was that gentle smile.

"Narcissa. Do you love him?" Hermione knew it was a bold question but she had to ask.

"I have never been in love with him. But I do love him. In my own way. I think it might be hard for you to understand. Our marriage was arranged at my birth and it was most definitely no love at first sight. But I've learned to love him, over the years. He might not always show it but Lucius is a good man.

"And does he love you?"

I think it's pretty much the same for him as it is for me. He is very loyal to his family and he cares a great deal about me and Draco. We've shared half our lives, it's hard not to start love someone if you spend that much time together. It has never been the perfect fairytale romance but we love each-other in our own way. This is also the reason why I think this plan might actually work. I can only hope he'll make the right decision."

Again Hermione got the feeling that there was more behind the woman's words but she didn't have time to ponder on it so she got up from her chair. "Shall I send Lucius in?"

"Yes please."

Hermione limped towards the door.

"Oh and Hermione dear..."

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"I'm not sure what was said between Lucius and Narcissa. All I know is that eventually she somehow managed to make him agree. Narcissa succumbed to her injuries that very night."

At long last Hermione took a deep breath and raised her eyes to look at Ginny. She was nervous as to how the younger girl would respond to everything Hermione had just told her.

Ginny opened and closed her mouth several times, her eyes seemed moist. After what felt like ages the redhead suddenly burst forward. "Oh Hermione!" she sobbed, as she engulfed Hermione in a tight hug.

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><p><strong>AN: So, there you have it. The last of the flashbacks (for now). **

**I considered adding the conversation between Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy to this chapter as well, but eventually decided against it, because the flashbacks are all more or less from Hermione's point of view, and she wasn't present for that conversation.**

**I might add the conversation somewhere else in the story or I might make it a one-shot, I'm not sure yet.**

**Please review! My muse is being a bit stubborn at the moment and she could use the motivation ;)**

**Love,**

**LoversCure**


	21. Chapter 21 Soul meets soul

**A/N: ****Okay, time for apologies (again? Yes, again). I am sorry I did not update sooner and I'm very sorry I did not have the chance to reply to every review personally. There where several very (very, very) nice reviews. And even though I did not reply to each and every one of them, I would like to use this opportunity to tell you all how much they mean to me. They really brighten my day.  
>SO, big thanks to writeratheart007, Sampdoria, Reader-anonymous-writer, Waterwolfwritter, xiaoj, hule, A Pirate By Any Other Name, HP-Lette-Fan, Quantumphysica and A for their lovely reviews. Keep them coming!<strong>

**So, now that we have finally left the flashbacks behind, it's time for Hermione, Esmeraude and Lucius to move forward. Enjoy!**

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><p>Chapter 21 – Soul meets soul<p>

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><p>I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before<em><br>_Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all_  
><em>You never know if you never try_  
><em>To forgive your past and simply be mine

_Adele-'One and Only'_

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><p><em>Ginny opened and closed her mouth several times, her eyes seemed moist. After what felt like ages the redhead suddenly burst forward. "Oh Hermione!" she sobbed, as she engulfed Hermione in a tight hug.<em>

"I'm sorry Ginny, I wanted to tell you before, I really did." Hermione said, trying to breath around the mass of red hair. She felt her own tears burning in her eyes.  
>She rubbed Ginny's back, trying to comfort the girl who was still quietly sobbing against her shoulder.<p>

"It's okay 'Mione" Ginny said, looking up at her with slightly red eyes. "I wish I could have been here for you. You must have been so lonely."

Hermione gently let go of her friend and sat back, taking a deep breath. She thought about her wedding in France, marrying a man she barely knew and hardly liked, about adopting Esmeraude. She had become a mother and a wife at only 19. She thought about all the times she had been here, in her rooms, alone, not knowing how her friends were doing and where they were. But then, most of the time, Esmeraude had been there. Hermione had been able to see the girl grow, she had taught her to talk and Esmeraude saw Hermione as her mum. And Lucius had really tried to make Hermione feel welcome. He might not be an easy man to live with, Merlin knew how much two wars had damaged him, but in his way, he honestly tried to make her feel welcome and Hermione had to admit that recently, he actually had been succeeding. The images of their near-kiss flooded her mind and Hermione could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks.

"Earth to Hermione" Ginny said, waving her hand in front of her eyes.

Hermione shook her head, as if hoping to physically shake out the distracting images. "Sorry Gin, I was miles away for a bit."

Ginny gave her a watery smile. "I noticed." she said. "Now, not that I want you to, but don't you have to force me to take an unbreakable vow or something?"

Hermione shook her head, finally being able to focus again. "No, I don't think that's necessary. I know I can trust you. And if the ministry finds out that you knew, they won't be able to prosecute you for it. If you tell them I will die because of the vow I took. You telling them would be equal to you murdering me. There is a law on that, I checked."

Ginny laughed. "Yes, you would have checked that. So, can I meet Esmeraude?"

"I have nothing against it, but I think we should leave it for another time. She is with Lucius right now."  
>"Can't you go and fetch her?"<p>

"I could." Hermione agreed. She lingered a little before continuing, trying to find the right words. "However, it is getting rather late, and I would prefer to let her meet you when we have a little more time. She isn't used to meeting new people."

"I understand" Ginny replied, a gently smile around her mouth. "You really have become an overprotective mum, you know that right?"

Hermione sighed. "Yes, I suppose so. Although I got a lot of practice with your brother and husband. They wouldn't have passed any exam if it wasn't for my constant nagging"

Ginny laughed. "I'm afraid you are right" she said. "And I understand that you don't want me to meet Esmeraude, I will try not to take it personally" For a second Hermione felt worried and looked up, but Ginny just winked at her, before continuing on a more serious note "It's fine 'mione, really. No need to be so flinchy. Although of course, next time you disappear on me like this I will hex you into next week. Don't think I won't."

Hermione nodded. "Point taken. Now, I think you need to get back before they notice you are missing from Hogsmeade. I don't think we want Harry to search for his wife, alongside an entire army of aurors no doubt."

Ginny glanced over to the clock on the mantelpiece. "Oh, yes you are right, it is getting late." Ginny rushed over to the kitchen table to retrieve her portkey. Hermione followed her. Ginny turned around to face her. "There will be a next time, right?" she asked. Hermione smiled. "Absolutely".

"No more secrets?"

"No more secrets."

With that Ginny nodded and took a hold of the portkey and disappeared within the blink of an eye.

Hermione sighed. She was exited about how well her meeting with Ginny had gone, but the encounter had exhausted her as well. She noted the ache in her chest. Her scars had been aching all day, and the exhaustion did not particularly improve matters. She tried to remember whether she had taken her pain potion that morning. In all fairness she wasn't entirely sure. _Oh well. I have to stop taking the stuff at some point anyway. _Deciding it wasn't necessary to bother the elves with the question she went to grab her cloak and pack of cigarettes. She might as well enjoy a few minutes of quiet before she went to check on Lucius and Esmeraude.

Upon entering the library, Hermione had to stifle a giggle. Lucius was in an awkward half reclining position on one of the sofa's. His hair was a bit messy, and he was holding a book in his right hand, which he held in an odd angle. The reason for all of this became apparent when Hermione noted the mop of black hair that was lying on his chest. Esmeraude was sprawled across her stepfather's chest. She was lying face down and was very much asleep. Upon noticing Hermione, Lucius put a finger to his lips. Hermione tiptoed over and sat in an armchair across Lucius. "Hey." She whispered.

"Hey." he answered. "How did it go?"

Hermione beamed. "Fine." she replied. "Ginny took everything far better than I could have expected."

"I'm glad to hear that. It's good to know that your nervousness this morning wasn't necessary."  
>"I don't believe I was the only nervous person."<br>Lucius raised a pale eyebrow "I hope you are talking about Esmeraude?"

"Ha ha, very funny.  
>Her husband shook his head. "Impossible. Malfoys don't get nervous." he whispered.<p>

"Of course they don't." Hermione conceded, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Esmeraude stirred a little in her sleep. "I'll call a house elf to take her to her room. She seems to be fast asleep and knowing you she probably missed her nap."  
>Lucius looked offended. "It was hardly my fault. I tried to make her sleep, but she outright refused."<br>Hermione snorted. "It's a baby. You don't argue with them, you simply make them take a nap. She really has you wrapped around her little finger, doesn't she?"  
>Lucius had the decency to look ashamed. "Think of it as you wish" he said, non-committal. "Calling an elf might be a good idea though."<p>

Once Esmeraude had been given into the cunning care of the elves and Lucius could finally sit up in a more dignified position, he flicked his wand towards a cabinet. A bottle of red wine and two glasses flew into his free hand. "Would you care for a glass of wine?" he asked. "Or can I perhaps offer you something a little stronger?"

"Wine would be lovely, thank you." Hermione said. With another flick of Lucius' wand the bottle started pouring the wine and Hermione took the glass that drifted towards her. She curled up in the armchair and took a sip. The wine was amazing, and in combination with her comfortable position and the heat of the fire, this corner of the library felt like paradise. Hermione was sure that, had she been a cat, she would have purred with content. Lucius picked up his book again and so Hermione summoned one of the books that she had been reading as well.

For a while they sat in silence, sipping wine, the only sounds that of rustling pages and crackling fire. It took a while before Hermione noticed that Lucius' attention was not solely directed at the book he was pretending to read. She could almost feel his eyes on her and more than once she would glance over to him only to see him quickly look back to the book he was holding. His attention, the heat of the fire and the alcohol in the wine took their toll, and Hermione could feel a blush creeping up. Her nerves for the meeting with Ginny had occupied her mind for the past few days and distracted it from other thoughts. Now, without that distraction, the feelings she had for Lucius where slowly creeping up on her again and it made her feel conflicted. After their date and near-kiss, at least a part of her was convinced that her feelings where reciprocated, but she couldn't be sure. Her experiences with Ron had shown her that it wasn't always about personality, and that sometimes a heartbeat was all that was required. But this was different, wasn't it? Lucius had had plenty of chances to make a move on her, but had always been the perfect gentleman.

"Is anything the matter?"

Hermione looked up from her book. Lucius had put his book down and looked at her, looking sincerely worried.

Hermione shook her head. "Not really, it's just been a long day I guess." It wasn't exactly a lie.

Lucius nodded. He seemed to weigh his next words. "You seem a bit tense. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Hermione shrugged. "I stopped taking my pain medication." She experimentally rolled her head and winced when she felt the muscles protest. "And I think I have been sitting in the same position for far too long when I was chatting with Ginny."

"Come here." Lucius said, scooting over to make room for her on the couch while one of his legs remained on the couch.

Hermione was sure that the butterflies in her stomach where making excited back flips as she got up from the chair. She sat down and felt the warmth of his leg against her back.

"Do you want me to go get you a pain potion?"

Hermione shook her head. The butterflies in her stomach, in combination with the wine, made her brain go a little fuzzy. "No, I had to stop taking it at some point."

"Not if that means you are in pain. It is probably safe to take it for a few more weeks."

Hermione snorted. "Probably?"

"Definitely. You don't think I would take the risk of poisoning you, do you?"

"Well, I certainly hope not."

"Now, turn around, I can't reach"

Hermione's fuzzy brain was having a difficult time figuring out what Lucius meant. But then she felt the warmth of his hands on her shoulder. Lucius guided her position until her back was turned towards him.

Hermione gasped as she felt his hands slipping under her hair. Lucius gave a deep chuckle. "My apologies, I hadn't realised my hands where this cold."

"It's fine really." Hermione said. Lucius gave no sign that he had noticed the tremor in her voice and Hermione was thankful for it.

"Now, let's see if we can get those muscles to relax, shall we?" Lucius' fingers started to slide skilfully over her neck. Easily locating and dissolving the knots in her muscles. Hermione closed her eyes, enjoying the bliss of feeling the ache fade away.

Slowly Hermione became aware of fingers stroking her neck, playing through her hair. She felt comfortable and snuggled further into the comfortably warm pillow behind her. The pillow sighed. How odd, pillows didn't sigh. And they didn't have a pulse either. So why did Hermione feel a steady heartbeat accompanied by slow waves of warm air against her hair. She shot up, suddenly wide awake, and looked over her shoulder. Lucius' silver eyes looked back at her. She expected to see amusement, the way Malfoy's could enjoy watching other people making a fool of themselves. But in that short moment she swore she saw so many other things. There was affection there, maybe a little bit of disappointment, and heat. It was not obvious, but most definitely there. It wasn't the blazing predatory heat that she had seen in the eyes of so many boys. No, this was slow burning, more intense and yet more controlled. Lucius seemed to look directly into her soul, and it caused a glowing warmth to pool in the pit of her stomach.

"I'm sorry." She stammered.

"My girls seem to have a habit of falling asleep against my chest."

Hermione gave an embarrassed smile. "Yes it appears so."

"It's curious.." Lucius said, more to himself than to her.

"What is?" Hermione asked, confused.  
>"Your hair." Lucius answered, as if that was obvious. Hermione looked at his hands and noticed that one of them was still intertwined with her locks. A stray ringlet curled around his finger. "It is so wild and untameable, but yet, now that I feel it, it's so incredibly soft." He seemed to be talking about more than just her hair, but Hermione was too focussed on the lips that uttered the words to pay attention to the words themselves. "I suppose." she said, non-committal. "What time is it?"<p>

Lucius let go of her hair to reach for his pocket and took out a pocket-watch. "Nearly 3 am. It is probably time to call it a day." He sounded reluctant.

"Yes, probably." Neither of them moved.

Lucius' hand found its way back into her hair, a bit higher up this time. He sighed. "Hermione..." He said. She knew what he was going to say. He wanted to protect her, he was too old for her, he was going to turn himself in, he would most likely never come back, he didn't want to hurt her, they shouldn't do this. Hermione didn't want to hear. She knew all of that, and, in that moment, she found that she didn't care. What she felt for Lucius...she had never felt that for anyone else... so what if they didn't have a lifetime ahead of them. That didn't mean they had to deny themselves this. And so Hermione did the only thing she could think of. She summoned all her courage and pressed her lips against his in the lightest possible touch. Lucius gave in almost immediately. His lips moved with hers, slow and soft and warm. Hermione laid the palm of her hand against his cheek, before moving it upwards and entwining her fingers with his long silver locks. She felt his fingertips gently stroking the edge of her jaw. For a moment she was scared that he might push her away, but then she felt the tip of his tongue swipe across her lips. Hermione obliged, slightly parting her lips, granting him entrance. Lucius began his slow exploration, meanwhile slipping his hand under her hair, cupping the back of her head. The kiss was slow and thorough. He seemed to be trying to map and memorize every part of her mouth. Lucius tasted of peppermint and wine and cinnamon and of something that was exclusively him. It made Hermione feel both disoriented and at home, and very, very light headed. She regarded her husband through half-closed eyes. His face was relaxed, causing him to look younger than she had ever seen him. Her free hand moved to lie against his chest and Hermione could feel his rapid heartbeat through the thin fabric of his shirt. Lucius allowed her to explore for a while before slipping a hand around her waist. He laid it flat against the small of her back and pushed her flush against his chest. Hermione moaned into his mouth, unable to prevent the sound from escaping her. She moved so that she sat astride Lucius, slipping her other hand in his hair as well. This time it was Lucius who moaned, a deep feral sound that rumbled deep inside his chest. Hermione's magic flared, reaching out for Lucius' magic which it found mid-air. As their kiss deepened, their magic started a complicated dance around them, causing the air to hum. Lucius let go of her hair and wrapped his arms around her waist, not trapping, just holding. Eventually they both slowed down, realizing that if they didn't they might end up doing things they would regret later. Lucius' hands where rubbing slow circles on Hermione's back as she curled up in his lap, tucking her head under his. "Wow" Hermione uttered.

"Wow" Lucius agreed. It was all that needed to be said. They would think about the consequences tomorrow. Right now everything was well.

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><p><span><strong>AN:**

**Soul meets soul on lovers' lips. -Percy Bysshe Shelley,Prometheus Unbound **

**After the long wait I think you guys deserved a chapter like this, so I hope you all enjoyed it as much as me. **

**Next chapter is in the making, but might again take a little longer than I'd like (because of personal reasons.) **

**I'd love to know what you guys thought of this chapter, so please review!**

**Love,**

**LoversCure**


	22. Chapter 22 minimize the casualties

**A/N: Hi guys, I know I promised some of you that this chapter would be up earlier, but well, it wasn't (I really need to stop making those promises - apparently it's bad luck). **

**I'd like to thank A Pirate By Any Other Name, aredente farfalla, Sampdoria, FreeSpiritSeeker, POM-frenchreader, HP-Lette-Fan and crysta656 for their reviews. And of course to my beta for continuously sacrificing his free time. **

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><p>"<em>I'm a grenade and at some point I'm going to blow up and I would like to minimize the casualties, okay?" ~Hazel<em>

John Green_, the Fault in our stars_

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><p>The room was filled with the faint melodic sounds of 'Brahm's Lullaby'<p>

_'Thank Merlin for magic.' _Hermione thought as she slumped down onto the couch and watched the keys on the piano sink and release again, as if they where played by invisible hands. Esmeraude was in a cot next to it, fast asleep, finally.

It had taken Hermione more than an hour to get the girl to fall asleep, for some unknown reason Esmeraude had decided that she didn't like to take naps, and outright refused to close her eyes. Hermione now understood what Lucius had meant two days earlier. Not that she was going to tell him that, she would never hear the end of it.

She sighed. Two days. It had been two days since that kiss. And Hermione had dared to hope that maybe everything would turn out all right. She felt foolish now. Her husband had gone back to locking himself inside the library. He had been writing so much that Hermione suspected that he was either trying to divert his attention, or was outright avoiding her. Either way, she was not happy about it, and it made her feel more miserable than she had felt in months. If she had known that kissing him would result in this, she wouldn't have done it. It seemed to have ruined the tentative friendship they had built over the past few months. And it wasn't worth that. She sighed again and took out her wand, with a complicated movement she conjured a bubble spell around Esmeraude's cot and the piano, tuning out all the sounds outside the bubble. Then she conjured frail glass flasks, setting them next to her on the couch. Once she had conjured about a dozen of them she proceeded to throw them up in the air, and, using her wand as a racket, to smash them against the wall at full speed. It was useless and childish, but, oddly enough it made Hermione feel better. Once the last flask slammed into the wall with a satisfying crash, Hermione felt slightly better. A last swish of her wand made the pile of broken glass on the floor disappear.

"Oh dear, venting our anger are we?" Hermione looked up to where she had heard the voice. The enormous painting of a landscape to the left of the couch now also held the life sized portrait of Narcissa Malfoy, smiling sadly.

"So what has that idiot of an ex-husband of mine done now?" she asked, the smile on her face not enough to hide the fact that she was clearly not happy with said 'idiot of an ex-husband' right now.

Hermione shrugged. "Nothing really."  
>"Oh come on Hermione, I might be a painting, but I am not daft. You are not this upset over nothing."<p>

"I feel that Lucius has been avoiding me for the past two days. Ever since...well, you know."

"How should I know?"

Hermione arched an eyebrow. "You don't honestly think that we don't know that you are spying on us every chance you get, do you?" she asked.

Narcissa tried, and failed, to look offended. "Well, I have never... But that's beside the point now. Lucius really needs to pull his head out of his...oh, pardon my French. I mean he needs to start understanding what is important in life."

Hermione couldn't help but crack a grin. She wondered which of the portraits in Malfoy manor had inspired Narcissa to use such crude language, but didn't comment on it. "I'm not sure you can convince him of that."

The sparkle in Narcissa's eyes was impossible to miss. "I would like to say that you underestimate me. But I am afraid that you may be right. However, I know someone who can."  
>That spiked Hermione's curiosity. "Who?"<p>

"Now, that is my little secret." Narcissa replied, with a wink. "Let's just say that Lucius will never know what hit him. Now don't break your pretty head over it, this one is on the portraits. Good afternoon Hermione." With that Narcissa left the frame and Hermione could swear she heard her muttering about idiotic stubborn men. From the corner of her eyes she thought she saw movement in yet another portrait, but by the time she had turned to look at it, the fluttering of black fabric was gone.

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><p>Lucius kept writing, pointedly trying to ignore the scowling portrait in front of his desk.<p>

"She is perfectly miserable"  
>"yes, I heard you."<p>

"She was smashing objects against the wall!"  
>"I know."<br>"You can't do this to her. It's not fair towards either her or yourself."

Lucius sighed. "I will be the judge of that. It was a mistake, I let my emotions get the better of me and it was a stupid decision."

"Love is never a mistake."

"Who says I'm in love?"

"You never were a good liar Lucius, but this must be your worst attempt so far."

"Okay, so what if I am in love with her? It doesn't change anything."  
>"It changes everything! Please don't break both your own and her heart, just because you think you don't deserve to be happy. I made that mistake once, and see where it got me."<p>

"I thought you where doing pretty fine lately."

"I am dead, Lucius."  
>"Well, yes, but apart from that."<p>

"Yes, apart from that I'm doing great."

Lucius flinched at the sarcasm in his oldest friends voice. "Look. Severus. I understand where you are coming from, I really do, but this is different."

"I don't see how."

"I refuse to give Hermione a happy marriage only to make her a widow. I can't do that to her."  
>"And so you decide to break her heart while you are still alive instead? Really Lucius, as much as it pains me to admit, Hermione is a smart girl and she can decide for herself whether she wants this or not."<p>

"She is only a girl."  
>"A girl who has fought in a war. A girl who, already in her first year, was declared 'smartest witch of her age'. A girl who could have had everything she ever wished for by now, but instead chose to do what she thinks is right. And made that choice far before she fell in love with you."<p>

Lucius opened his mouth to argue. "Sev."

"No. Let me finish. Hermione knows what you have done in the past, correct?"

"Well, yes, most of it."

"And she knows what you are planning to do?"

"Yes, of course she knows. That is why she is here in the first place."

"And yet she loves you and wishes to be close to you. And you want the same. However, you are the one refusing to acknowledge it. I think you must ask yourself who, out of the two of you, is the idiot."

"I never said she was an idiot."  
>"Then stop treating her like one! Man up and go talk to her. And I'd recommend you do that before Narcissa gets a hold of you. She is practically seething."<p>

Lucius gulped. Even in death his late wife could be terrifying. He nodded and got up. It was time he talked to Hermione.

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><p>Hermione heard the door open and responded immediately. Her hand drifted towards her wand and at the same time she angled her body as a shield between the door and Esmeraude, effectively hiding the sleeping infant from the line of sight. Of course it took less than a second for her brain to catch up with her instincts and she relaxed against the back of the couch again. Lucius stalked into the room and for a moment he looked every bit the arrogant pure-blood that she had once thought him to be <em>-admittedly, that he once had been-<em>. His silver hair and black robes swirled around him, his shoulders where straight and tense and his face was blank. Hermione felt her stomach drop.

"Hermione. I think I..."  
>"No, Lucius, don't you dare say it was a mistake." Hermione felt hot tears burning in her eyes and cursed her voice for trembling. "I understand if you don't want to continue what happened. But please, <em>please<em>, don't say it was a mistake." Hermione couldn't help it, the tears started flowing. All the tension from the past few days finally spilling over. She knew what she had said was true. As much as she hated to admit it, she would understand it if Lucius didn't want to continue whatever it was between them, for whatever pathetic chivalrous reason he had come up with this time. But she could not hear him say it had been a mistake, she wouldn't be able to stand it. Lucius had made her feel special in a way no man had ever managed before. Not Victor, and definitely not Ron. And the idea of that small flame of self-esteem being kindled, only for it to be gruesomely kicked out again made her feel almost physically ill. The next moment she felt the warm pressure of two arms around her and soft strands of hair that where far to sleek to be her own tickled her face. Lucius had sat down next to her and held her tight. He hoisted her onto his lap and pressed her flush to his chest. Hermione couldn't help it, she just kept sobbing, burying her face in her husband's neck. She felt the texture of his scars and almost moved away, but his arms kept her securely locked against him. She realized he hadn't as much as flinched at her touching his scar, even if only accidentally. "Hush angel, it's okay...it's okay. It wasn't a mistake, I promise. I came to offer my apologies. I've been acting foolish for the past two days and I am sorry."

It took a while for Hermione to process Lucius' words. After his behaviour of the past few days she had expected everything but this. Finally her sobs turned into hiccups and eventually she fell quiet. She looked up at him. His silver eyes stared straight back at her. Suddenly Hermione felt foolish and again she turned her face away, this time to dry her eyes. "Sorry, I'm acting silly."

"Not really." Lucius took a deep breath, deciding that if they where going to build this relationship, honesty was probably a good first step. "I sincerely considered breaking this off before it would go to far. But an old friend talked some sense into me. Besides, I am rather sure that my attachment to you is already too strong. I cannot bare the thought of losing you. However, I think you should know that I also feel that, by not breaking this off, I am being selfish. You will eventually lose me Hermione. And I am not an easy person to be with. I am very set in my ways. I have lived through too much and I've seen too much. I care for you deeply and I have hurt so many people, I don't want to hurt you asw..." Hermione cut him off by pressing her lips against his. The tears she had shed made their kiss wet and salty but it didn't matter. She put her hands on either side of his face, mumbling words of comfort against his lips. They had a long road ahead of them, and things were not going to be easy. But they would try, and they would cope. Everything was okay for now.

Neither of them noticed the two portraits in a frame in the corner of the room. The blonde woman was practically glowing with glee. The frown on the face of the raven haired man next to her did not lessen and his face did not show any emotion whatsoever. But he didn't pull his hand back when the woman next to him grasped it.

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><p><strong><span>AN:So, that was chapter 22. Please leave a review (no matter how long or short). It makes my day so much better!**

**On a different note: I have been trying to decide if I should add Lemons to this story and I simply don't know. So I'm leaving it up to you, my readers.**  
><strong> I made a poll, which you can find at the top of my profile. Let me know what you want (smut or no smut, that's the question)<strong>

**Really looking forward to your reviews and answers to my poll.**

**Love,**  
><strong>LoversCure<strong>


	23. Chapter 23 Trust me now

**A/N: Soooo...surprise, I am still alive - And I am terribly sorry for my long absence. As per usual real life took over, but that is honestly no excuse for being away _this _long. So I have taken a stick and used it to poke my muse out from under the cupboard - I am now happy to finally give you guys chapter 23.**

**Just a few service announcements:  
>- Don't kill the writer for not updating sooner - that will only result in an unfinished story and a lot of blood (I am untouchable, muwhaha..)<br>-Thank you all sooooo much for your continued support and for occasionally reminding me that this story exists and that people are still anxious to read it. It means more than I can tell you.  
>-Hello to all the new followers!<br>****-No smut. I am sorry for everyone who wanted it, but it didn't blend in with the story very well. Also, a couple of readers felt very strongly against it. There is some lime in this chapter (if you squint) but no lemons.  
><strong>**-There is a lot of angst in this chapter, and there will be even more in the future.  
>-The chapter had not been beta'd, I just wanted to get it up here<br>****-HP universe doesn't belong to me and blabla...**

**Now, without further ado, I give you Chapter 23 - Trust me now**

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><p><em>With all the years between us<em>

_You know I'd never lie_

_Let other people judge us_

_With all their own assumptions_

_You know with me you never need to hide_

_We'll never be those wide-eyed kids who fell in love then_

_We'll never fit inside those narrow lines again_

_We could pretend, we could pretend_

_But that never suited us somehow_

_So trust me now_

_Heather Dale - For Guinevere_

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><p>The pair of them clung together for more than an hour. Kissing and holding as if their lives depended on it, as if the other might disappear if they let go. It was clear that on both sides the decision had been made. They had chosen love, and had therefore put aside all the worries, all the excuses, all the despair that lay ahead of them. They would cross those bridges when they got there.<p>

Eventually Esmeraude's soft wails forced them apart.

"Great timing kid." Lucius groaned.

"She probably needs changing. And dinner."

Hermione replied, untangling herself from Lucius and walking over to the crib. Before she could reach it she felt Lucius arms slip around her waist and his hot breath against her neck.

"I can take care of her for the rest of the day, I have spent far to little time with her this past week. And would you do me the honour of dining with me tonight? Just the two of us."

By the time Lucius finished that sentence his voice was almost a purr. Hermione was secretly glad for his arms around her, the sound of his voice seemed to have a strange effect on her body and she wasn't sure she would have been able to stay standing had he not held her. However, their close proximity made it clear that she was not the only one affected. Lucius was slightly shaking, along with slightly less subtle physical responses

Once it was time for dinner Hermione found herself to be extraordinarily calm. She had managed to tame her hair, which had rebelled against her during her make-out session with Lucius. It now cascaded down her back in long curling strands. She had decided to leave it down for the evening. As she stood in front of the mirror she adjusted her wine red dress before making a last experimenting twirl. The dress was one of her favourite pieces of clothing in her wardrobe. It was long enough to be considered decent, even a bit formal, but at the same time it hugged her curves just enough. It left all possible ending of the night open. Of course she knew how she wanted it to end, but she was not going to fool herself. Both Lucius and she had been through quite a lot and she wanted to give either of them the chance to back out, should one of them begin to feel uncomfortable about how fast things were going. She smiled and watched as her reflection smiled back at her. Then she shook her hand trough her hair one more time and decided to let it be. She would see what the night would bring and not worry.

On the other side of the manor, Hermione's husband was not nearly as calm. He had combed his hair to within an inch of it's life and was now busy plucking at non-existent pieces of lint on his impeccable robes.

"Stop stalling and just go Lucius"

"Do shut up Sev."

"You shouldn't leave your woman waiting. It's bad manners."

"She is not my possession Sev."

"Oh don't try and be politically correct, it doesn't suit you. Besides, you know what I mean. And if you stay here you can never claim her as yours. That was what you were planning for tonight, was it not? From the way it looked earlier..."

"Shut. Up. You really are not helping." "Oh, so that is what you are worried about, is it? Don't worry old man, you will do just fine. Just make sure you don't drink to much, because, well...you know, at your age..." Snape's portrait left the sentence hanging in the air, mischief flickering in his eyes.

"You really have nothing to worry about darling." Narcissa's voice quipped as she walked into view.

"Now that something I didn't need to know" Snape groaned

"Oh stop whining, neither do you."

"And that's something I didn't want to hear. I'll take my leave now. You two behave or I shall have my house elves paint you both over."

The portraits' outraged replies were muffled by the door closing.

By the time Lucius arrived at the dining room Hermione was already there. He mentally cursed himself, So much for not keeping the lady waiting.

His wife looked up at him, a radiant smile lighting her face. She looked so stunning it took his breath away and in that moment he decided to try to never hurt her again, to make sure she would always look as radiant and alive as she did now. "I hope I did not make you wait to long?"

"Oh no." She assured him, "I simply arrived a bit early. Did Esmeraude give you a lot of trouble?"

"No, she was fine. However, Narcissa and Severus are an entirely different story."

Hermione laughed. "Surely they cannot be that bad?"

"Worse. They behave like a pair of hormone stricken teenagers."

"Oh dear. So, what is the deal with them anyway, I got the impression that they are...oh how to put this...together?"

"It would appear so. I am not sure how that works with portraits, and to be honest, I do not wish to know either. Although from what I gather from Narcissa's less than subtle remarks it somehow works."

Lucius gave a shudder, his awkwardness causing Hermione to chuckle lightly.

Their evening took on an easy and comfortable pace, filled with lovely dishes, which were complimented by fine wine. And if Hermione noticed that Lucius barely touched his glass, well, she didn't comment on it. By the time it was time for dessert any lingering nervousness had seized to exist and an almost buzzing anticipation hung in the air.

"Shall we take dessert in the inside garden tonight?" Lucius suggested smoothly.

"That would be lovely" Hermione smiled. Lucius got up from his chair and walked around the table to offer her his hand, squeezing it lightly as she put her palm in his.

The garden was lovely at night. The stars and moon, which where visible trough the glass ceiling, set the scene before them in a soft pale blue light, helped by the fireflies and fairy lights that were scattered around the place. The warm tropical air that helped the plants to grow so wonderfully seemed to hug them like a blanket as they walked quietly hand in hand, completely awestruck by the beauty around them. Hermione gasped as they reached the waterfall. Before it on the mossy floor someone had placed a large dark green picnic blanket scattered with all sorts of sweet treats. The blanket was barely visible against the moss and if it hadn't been for the small candles that circled it it could have easily been overlooked. Hermione noticed that the same candled floated on the surface of the pond, slightly waving on the movements caused by the waterfall.

"This place amazes me every time." Hermione whispered.

They sank down onto the pillows, more lying than sitting. They didn't talk much while they nibbled on the sweet treats the house elves had laid out for them. The situation didn't ask for it. Besides, if you are both in the same house all the time, positively closed off from the oudside world, you run out of things to talk about rather fast. Hermione had found it imprisoning at first. She still did most of the time. Her life had more or less come to a full stop. Only consisting of taking care of Esmeraude, reading and having dinner with or without Lucius. However, she had also started to like it. She could read to her heart's content without anyone criticizing her, she loved Esmeraude, and, most importantly, she could pretend everything was right. Lucius and her had built their own fairytale in here. He wasn't being hunted in here, she didn't have to defend her actions and the choices she had made. In here, they could pretend their love wouldn't have to end at some point. They could pretend that Lucius wouldn't have to die, or, as Hermione had begun to hope lately, run. Putting the thought away for a different time, Hermione focused back on Lucius. The man was looking at her. The slight frown on his face indicating that he had noticed her thinking, and probably guessed what she had been thinking about. Or was he thinking about these things himself right now?

Hermione moved over towards him, settling herself in his warmth, the frown was still present. "Come back to me?" she whispered, before kissing him lightly on the lips.

Lucius leaned into the kiss, sighing softly. He tilted his head, inviting her to deepen the kiss without taking charge. Hermione experimentally licked his lips, savouring the sweetness that still lingered there.

Lucius couldn't believe his luck. Here he was, in the most beautiful scenery, and this stunning young woman was kissing him. He moved his body to cover hers, taking care not to prevent her from fleeing or moving away, should she wish to. However, fleeing seemed to be the furthest from Hermione's mind. She pressed up against him, never breaking the kiss, and when arms apparently grew tired she switched to a different strategy and slung them around his chest, pulling him down with her. The abruptness of her move caused him to gasp, which in it's turn caused her to giggle. Lucius broke the kiss.

"A Malfoy is not to be giggled at, witch." He whispered in her ear before softly nibbling on her earlobe.

The bout of giggles caused by that statement turned into a sigh as his lips moved further down, kissing and gently biting the exposed skin of her neck. Once he got down to her collarbone the sensations of her skin against his lips suddenly changed, it felt too smooth, to perfect, and he could feel the underlying prickling of magic against his lips. He stopped and looked up at Hermione. Lucius noticed that her cheeks had turned a deep crimson. As much as he would like to give his ministrations credit for it, he knew that it was embarrassment that coloured Hermione's cheeks. He looked back at her chest, noticing that her cleavage showed no sign of the scars that had to start there. A glamour then, and a really good one at that; Invisible to the untrained eye, barely noticeable to him. If he hadn't felt it, he would have never noticed it.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled, "It's just that I..."

"That's quite all right darling." Lucius replied, "I understand. In the past I used to wear glamours to hide my scars as well."

"It's not vanity, it's just..." Hermione shook her head, trying to organise her thoughts. "I hate the fact that I look disfigured" she continued. "I hate that they were able to leave those marks on me, that they managed to get me down like that. I feel weak, looking at them."

Lucius breathed feathery kisses against her skin before speaking again. "If you wish to hide your scars then you should. It is your body and you may do with it as you please. If you wish to cover them, cover them. If you wish to show them, show them. You are beautiful to me no matter what, and you should never feel you need to hide anything from me for me. But you should never feel you need to uncover anything for me either. As long as you are comfortable I'm happy with whatever you chose to do." He continued peppering her with kisses, slowly moving back up again and pressing his forehead against hers. "Your scars don't make you weak, you know." He breathed against her lips. "Your scars show that you are a survivor, that they tried to get you down, to bend you to their will, time and time again. And they show that they failed each and every time. Most of them are six feet under; others are locked away – never to be seen again. Yet they didn't change you and they couldn't defeat you. Your scars show you were victorious each and every time. And if they should represent anything it is a warning sign to anyone who wants to harm you, not to mess with Hermione, the magnificent heroine and underground rebel of the last great wizarding war."

Hermione couldn't help but grin at that. "You make me sound like some great historic warrior."

"Oh but you are, my darling. Although the historic part will only start in a century or so."

Hermione sighed. "Our lives are never going to be normal, are they?"

"Yours may, eventually. Things will quiet down." _Once I'm gone_ hung in the air, like a sword of Damocles.

"God aren't we a pair of mood killers" Hermione said, looking at Lucius, who had moved to her side and was absentmindedly twirling one of her curls around his finger.

"I apologise, maybe we should put this off for some other time?"

"Is that what you want?"

"Well no…but if y.." Hermione cut him off by straddling his lap and kissing him. Hard.

"Good. Me neither." She kissed him again, winding her arms around him and pressing her body against his.

It helped. His heat, his smell, it all helped to drown all thoughts out. His arms wound around her, two strong warm barriers between her and the outside world.

He kissed her with renewed passion, groaning as her nimble fingers found the buttons of his shirt, exposing the pale skin underneath. Her fingers mapped every inch of skin she revealed, feeling the smooth plains of muscle, and the hundreds of scars, both big and small, littering them. Silver lines altering with red patches. She realized she couldn't care less, his scars were as much part of him as his white blonde hair, as much as his quicksilver eyes that followed her every move. Yet none of that defined him. As she moved lower she could feel his renewed enthusiasm poking her stomach. She smiled, lowering her head in order to place butterfly kisses on his stomach. As her mouth followed the path her hands had made earlier, her right hand briefly brushed her own chest, silently lifting the glamour.

As her hands reached his trousers her eyes found his. "Sure?" she asked, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Lucius' pupils were blown to the point where only a small silver circle was visible around them. He was almost trembling in anticipation.

"Positive" he breathed.

She was warm, not too warm, comfortably warm. She shifted slightly, burying her head a little deeper in the pillow. Something soft and silky was tickling her bare shoulder. Hermione turned her head, looking for the source. A drowsy smile crept on her face as she found it. Lucius was sprawled out next to her, his hair was fanned out across both their pillows and her shoulder had apparently fallen victim to it as well. Hermione took this rare opportunity to study her husband without risk of being called out for it. The man's face was relaxed in sleep, erasing most of the worry lines that were visible during the day. His lips were slightly parted and his breath made soft purring sounds. Hermione was sure he would deny snoring if she confronted him about it when he was awake – she resolved to bring it up at some point. His response would be little surprising. His 'Malfoys don't…' followed by the thing he was being accused of was slowly becoming his trademark. It amused her to no end.

As she brushed the offending strand of hair away from her shoulder, Lucius turned his head towards her. "Good morning" he purred.

"Good morning" she replied, receiving the kiss that he placed on her lips. "I thought I heard you snoring earlier. But I must have been mistaken."

Lucius raised one eyebrow. "Yes, you must have been mistaken indeed" He said, his voice still heavy with sleep, "Malfoys don't snore."

Hermione made a noise, which was obviously not a snort (Malfoys didn't snort, and technically she too was a Malfoy) but composed herself quickly and snuggled into Lucius' chest. He put is arm around her, pulling her into his chest. If her hair was in his face he didn't mention it. "Did you sleep well?"

Hermione nodded "I don't believe I've slept this well in years." She said, removing herself from his grip for a moment so she could stretch languidly. She really had slept amazingly well, and for the first time since the war had ended she hadn't had nightmares.

"Perhaps we should make these sleeping arrangements permanent?" Lucius suggested.

Hermione looked around. Last night she had been too distracted to pay attention to which bedroom they had moved. She wasn't even entirely sure at what exact point they had moved. The room they were in now was very spacious and light. Sunlight shone through the curtains that spanned across the entire outside wall. There were several doors leading to other rooms.

"Yeah" Hermione said, snuggling closer into Lucius, "I think I would like that."

"I'll have the elves make the arrangements." Lucius kissed the top of her head. "Now, on a different note…breakfast in bed?"

"Hmm" Hermione agreed, not bothering with words for now.

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><p><strong>And that's it, Chapter 23. Hope you guys all liked it!<strong>

**Feel free to review (*Hint hint hint*). As mentioned above it has not been beta'd yet so be kind (and if you find any mistake, don't feel bad about messaging me directly.)**

**Chapter 24 is in the process of being written, but for obvious reasons I'm not going to give you guys a date (I don't want to give any false hope.) However it shouldn't take nearly as long as it took me to upload this chapter. I'm guessing anything between a week and a month.**

**Hope to hear from you guys and see you at chapter 24!**

**(also - for those who have Tumblr: You can find my blog about my fanfiction at /lovers-cure (Starting today) and my personal blog at /loverscure (that one is not a HP blog though) Feel free to contact me on either of those at any time and about anything. I love getting to know new people!**

**Love,  
>LoversCure<strong>


	24. Chapter 24 Teach me to undo what's done

_**A/N: Hello my lovelies! First of all I would like to wish you all a very happy new year. **_

_**As always, I've been very busy, and as always, I haven't forgotten about the story. It just takes a while to get a very complicated plot on paper without missing or forgetting things. Plus I am still insanely busy. I personally think it's all for the better, and I hope you aren't getting too frustrated with me.**_

_**p.s.: I know there's a couple of people who have sent me reviews/messages that I should get back to - I'll do so tomorrow (I'm on a train right now, and the internet connection isn't all that great.) I won't be getting back at every single review, as I have done in the past, simply because I'm far too busy. I hope to be able to do that again in the future though. Your reviews are incredibly appreciated. **_

_**Again the chapter isn't Beta'd, so do let me know if there are any mistakes.**_

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><p><em>Chapter 24 – Teach me to undo what's done<em>

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><p><em>You've got all these great answers to all these great questions<em>

_Take advantage of the sound, lean in to walls leading to minds_

_You've got all these great answers to all these great questions _

_Still I feel them passing me by_

_Questions and Answers – Biffy Clyro_

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><p>"No, no, no, that can't be right." Hermione muttered to herself, going over her calculations for the third time. "I'm missing something." She huffed and pushed her notebook away from her. "Severus, would you mind taking a look?" she looked up at the portrait across from the desk.<p>

"Certainly." The man replied. "It's not as if I have anything else to do, being a portrait and all."

As Hermione grabbed her notes and moved around the desk, she marveled about the fact that she was now on a first name basis with the feared potions master. Of course the fact that he was only a portrait helped, but it wasn't just that. She had found that once they had found common ground, academics, he was actually quite a good conversation partner, and she valued his opinions.

Lucius watched from the other side of the library as his wife placed a stack of papers on the lectern in front of the portrait that held the image of his oldest friend. She had started some sort of research project of her own and now often joined him in the library when he wrote. Even though they spent most of their time on different sides of the library, he found her presence soothing. From her spot in the playpen that had been placed in the library, Esmeraude was happily babbling at her feet. Lucius smiled at the dark-haired infant, who had grown a lot over the past few months.

"Amazing, isn't she?" Narcissa's quiet voice came from behind him. Just like the others she too spent a lot of time in the library these days.

"Hmm." He agreed, "Which one do you mean?" Lucius looked up from the tiny child to quickly glance at Hermione before focusing on his late wife.

"Both of them, I suppose. You are a lucky man Lucius."

Lucius' sigh sounded a lot more bitter than he had intended it to, giving away the fears that even now refused to leave him. "I suppose."

Narcissa arched an eyebrow. "You don't have to do it, you know. Turn yourself in."

"You know I do. I knew I did when I still had you and Draco, and I will have to do it now that I have Hermione and Esmeraude. It changes nothing."

"How long will you keep torturing yourself?" Narcissa asked, a deep sadness in her eyes.

"Forever, I fear." Lucius said, the haunted look in his eyes emphasizing the truth of his statement. "The war, the things I've done. It will haunt me as much as it will haunt the lives of my victims and their families. At least my downfall will give them some sort of closure." He closed his eyes.

"Do you honestly think so?" Narcissa whispered. "Revenge will not bring their loved ones back. You were as much a pawn in this as they were. It's not all your fault."

"Perhaps not, but there are so many lives I could have saved. Should have saved."  
>"And you think that would have made a difference? You would've had to pay for it with your life. And the madman would have just found someone else to do the things you did."<p>

"What would you have me do then?" Lucius asked, annoyance and frustration thick in his voice."

"Run, leave. Go to France, or anywhere else, rebuild your life."

"You know I can't."

"I know you think you can't. You were never a selfless man Lucius, never a martyr. Don't start now. Please consider it. If not for yourself, then for Hermione and Esmeraude. And for Draco."

The thought of Draco in Azkaban brought shivers down his spine. He tried to think as little about it as possible, but his son was always a gnawing presence in the back of his mind, the guilt that he felt for having dragged his son into this made his stomach turn and so he desperately tried to push it away. "Draco will get the mansion, whether I run or die. Let's not pretend as if he'll ever want to talk to me again. And Hermione? She'd be forced to run with me, never truly safe, never truly at home and never truly able to leave the war behind. She may be able to put on a brave face about not being able to see her friends now that it's temporary, but I can't ask her to do that all her life. Both her and Esmeraude will have a much better shot at happiness without me."

"I'm not sure she'd agree."

"She's in love. Her judgment is clouded."

"And yours isn't?"

Lucius huffed, and looked away. His eyes strayed back to Hermione. As if she felt his eyes on her she looked up and smiled at him, before focusing back on the book in front of her again and furiously making notes. "What is she doing there anyway? She won't tell me."

"If she won't tell you I hardly think it's my place to do so."

"So you do know?" Lucius asked, looking back at the blonde portrait again.

"I do…" She confirmed. Narcissa was now looking at Hermione, a sad smile playing around her lips. "…and I'm sure she'll tell you. Once she is ready. Give her time."

"Your calculations are mostly solid." Snape told Hermione in a low voice. "Where you go wrong is the algorithm to calculate the original caster's power."

Hermione looked at the figures he had pointed out. They seemed correct to her. "I didn't come up with these, they're the standard calculations used in most of these spells. Spells that all work perfectly."

"Yes, but those spells are not this extensive, nor made to counter a curse this vicious. There's a reason it hasn't been done before."

"I'm not trying to counter the curse though. Only it's effects."  
>"All the same, you need to take the caster's experience into account. Even a perfectly executed curse varies in strength depending on the caster's magical history… as well as their intent. Remember how Potter couldn't do it?"<p>

"But how can I calculate something that is in someone's head?" Hermione asked.

"I don't think you can."

"No." Hermione shook her head. "No, I refuse to believe it can't be done, I refuse to believe it's hopeless. It has to work."  
>"I'm not saying it is hopeless. But just this spell won't work." The portrait looked pensive, his brow creasing in a frown.<p>

"You have an idea?"

"I'll admit I've been thinking about it. You won't like it though."

"Try me." Hermione said, digging her finger into her curls. "Everything I have is stranded at a dead end."  
>"Well. You have a spell that would work, just not the possibility to calculate the variables."<p>

"Yes." Hermione agreed, curious as to where Snape was going with this.

"So what you really need is something to equalize those variables. Make all cases the same."

"But how would you do that? Any spell would have variables. While that isn't an issue in most cases, it's clear that in this one it is."

Snape looked at her with that familiar professor look. It made her feel like an idiot. There had to be an answer, and she was obviously missing it… she thought back at her time at Hogwarts, at her potions classes, where he would sometimes look at students in the same way. Suddenly it hit her. "A potion." She gasped, before feeling a sinking feeling again. "But that couldn't work. It's been considered before."

"It has." The dark-haired man agreed. "I corresponded with several members of the research group. There is no potion that could counter the effects of the curse."  
>"But?"<p>

"There is a potion that recreates the effects. A liquid curse, if you will."

"So, what you are saying…" And oh, Hermione was hoping that wasn't what he was saying. "Is that we would have to subject everyone to the same potion…making the damage worse."

"Making the damage worse, yes, but also treatable. Everyone's damage would be the same. I told you that you wouldn't like it."  
>"How much worse?"<p>

"Worse. The potion seems to only function when it brings the taker to the very brink of sanity. There is no mild variant, nor a possibility to take a lower dose. Both of those cases are fought off by the taker's immune system – brought back up before the potion can fully do its job."

Hermione sighed. Snape was right; she didn't like this, not at all. But right now it was the only lead she had. "Will you help me?"

"If you truly feel it is worth trying, then yes – I will help. But do know what you are getting yourself into. Figuring out an exact recipe for the potion, and the exact algorithms for the spell. Getting all the variables. It will be a difficult process, not to mention very dangerous. Do make sure you know what you are getting yourself into."  
>Hermione nodded. "I will do it."<br>"Don't make a choice like that on a whim. You need to realize what you are gambling. There is still time."  
>"Not enough of it. Who knows when this beautiful dream will shatter to pieces? I'm not unaware of that Severus, no matter what Lucius thinks." Tears were sparkling in her eyes now, but they didn't escape.<p>

"You know this won't prevent that, don't you?" It was one of the rare instances in which the man's eyes gave away a hint of compassion.

Hermione nodded. "I do. This isn't for me. Nor is it for him really. But right now I have all the resources I could need, plus I have no other projects."  
>"So for who…ah of course, Mrs. Potter."<p>

Hermione gave a weak smile. "Yes of course. They have been trying. But the damage is too great. It's not even clear whether the problem is on his side or hers, possibly both. Although it seems more likely that it's Ginny."  
>"I fear that my time as headmaster hasn't done much good."<br>"No. It hasn't."  
>Severus' face turned into an unreadable mask. The portrait's eyes seemed distant.<p>

"Don't blame yourself. You did what you had to do, you couldn't have stopped it. Imagine what would have happened had Bellatrix or anyone else been given your place."

"I'd rather not."  
>Hermione had a difficult time trying to suppress the shiver running down her spine. "Me neither. I doubt any of them would have survived."<p>

"Have you talked to Lucius about it yet?" Severus asked, clearly trying to change the subject.

She shook her head. "I was considering bringing it up after Ginny's visit tomorrow. He's got too much on his mind right now."  
>"Will you tell her?"<p>

"No, absolutely not. I won't give her hope where there may be none."  
>"A wise decision. Do congratulate her on her wedding for me."<br>"You could do it yourself." Hermione suggested, a playful twinkling in her eyes.

"I could. But being forced to converse with both Lucius and me on the same day might be asking a bit much, even from someone as tough in spirit as Ginevra Potter."

Hermione was surprised, but hid it well. Even in portrait form, Snape rarely came this close to paying anyone a compliment.

Hermione was fidgeting with her hair, dragging her fingers down her curls over and over again.

"Calm yourself woman." Lucius muttered, from his place on the couch.

"Well you are one to speak, I'm not the one who changed outfits four times this morning."

Lucius seemed annoyed, but was interrupted before he could reply.

"Lucius. Don't. You know she is right" The painting of Narcissa was comfortably sitting in one of the lawn chairs in the only frame that hung in the sun lounge, a wall-to-wall monstrosity depicting a very tacky garden.

Lucius sneered at her. "Are you ladies ganging up against me now? Merlin, have mercy." He squeezed the bridge of his nose for dramatic effect and resolved to keep his mouth shut.

Narcissa winked at Hermione, who grinned back. She looked at her watch and the grin slid of her face again. "I wish it would be two o'clock already, I just want to get this over with."

"And here I was thinking that it's Lucius who should be nervous about the arrival of your beloved Weaselette." The portrait of Severus Snape muttered as he stalked into the frame as well, coming to a halt behind Narcissa. Hands on his back and trademark scowl firmly in place.

"It's Potter now, as you are very well aware. And even though you are technically right, I do want the two of them to get along. I would hate for my best friend and my husband to try and curse each other into oblivion."

Snape just smirked, looking intently at Lucius.

"Severus. If there is something you'd like to say, just say it."

"Potter and his wife are both of age, are they not?" Snape drawled

Lucius gave an exasperated sigh. "Yes Sev, I do believe they are."

"And you do remember his _father_ was the last of his line." Even as a portrait the distaste when mentioning James Potter was evident.

"Yes, wha…_Merlin_!" Before Hermione could ask, her husband had bolted up and out of the room, his limp seemingly not affecting his speed. Instead she turned to the portraits for an explanation.

"I'm sure Lucius will explain it to you once he gets back sweetheart." Narcissa said, "And you could have reminded him a little earlier Severus, the poor man is already on edge."

"And where is the fun in that?" Snape drawled.

It didn't take long before Lucius re-entered. He seemed a lot more composed and was carrying a large box under his arm. By now Hermione recognized the schooled features of his pureblood upbringing. Her husband was nervous but had resolved not to show it. It stood in stark contrast to his open nervousness earlier. So he was nervous about her response. Hermione came to that conclusion in a fraction of a second, and part of her was very pleased by how well she had gotten to know her Lucius. But his anxiety made her nervous in return.

"Darling. I'm going to offer you something, and I want you to know that you may reject it. I will understand if you do."

Hermione slightly tilted her head, questioning.

Lucius sighed, reluctant to continue. "I would have rather done this in my own time" He gave an annoyed glare in the direction of the suspiciously empty portrait frame. "Anyway, this has to be rather official. It's a ritual of sorts, so please bare with me."

Hermione nodded, her husband's anxiety was doing nothing for her nerves, but she trusted that he knew what he was doing.

"Hermione Jean Malfoy. My spouse, my love, my light.

In all your kindness you have given me your hand in marriage.

In all your youth you have accepted to spend your life with me.

In all your loyalty you have shared your days and nights with me.

In all your strength you have stood next to me.

In all my faith I have willingly granted you my heart, my hand, my life, my days and nights, my wand and all I have to offer.

Each of which you have cherished.

Now I wish to grant you all the protection that the house of Malfoy has to offer. Please accept this gifted cloth, so it may protect you and any seed you bear."

Hermione swallowed, almost unable to hold back tears. The ritual was old fashioned. She had read about it in various books. But now that the words were actually spoken out loud, addressed to her, she felt that they underlined all the things she could never have, that they would never have. Spending a lifetime together, protecting each other, having children. It left a bitter taste in her mouth. Lucius still looked stoic, but his eyes betrayed the same sentiment. With shaking hands Hermione accepted the box. She knew what was in it, but still she gasped as she opened it. The light blue fabric almost buzzed with magic, it's silver embroidery sparkling as if it was in full light. With shaking hands she lifted the cloak off its tissue paper mattress and held it up, allowing the fabric to flow down. The Malfoy crest shone even more now that it was exposed to the light of the room. When she looked up she noticed Lucius was looking at her expectantly. "I, Hermione Jean Malfoy, accept to wear and cherish the ceremonial cloak just as I carry and cherish your heart. My promise to you, Luicius Abraxas Malfoy, our bond for all the world to see."

Lucius released a breath. It was clear that he hadn't known whether she would accept or not. The name of Malfoy carried a lot of negative weight these days and as much as Hermione loved him, she could have still refused to wear the Malfoy cloak.

"Thank you darling" He said, taking her head between his hands and kissing her forehead. "May I?"

Hermione nodded and handed him the cloak. With a dramatic swirl that most muggle magicians would have been jealous of, he draped it over her shoulders before fastening it. "I've been meaning to give it to you for a while now, but I wasn't sure whether you would find it appropriate. But now that Lady Potter comes to visit the both of us, it is technically a formal introduction of two houses. Etiquette prescribes us to wear our cloaks. Even if she doesn't wear hers, it shows that at least the house of Malfoy acknowledges and respects her as an equal"

_That I acknowledge her and respect her as an equal_ was left unsaid, but Hermione understood. She shook her head. "I keep forgetting Harry's father had a lordship. Lord and Lady Potter. It's weird attaching those titles to two of my best friends."

"I should imagine it would be even stranger to them. You are Lady Malfoy."

Hermione just stared at him. She had _known_ of course, that she was technically Lady Malfoy, but she had never given it much thought. When this had all started they had assumed it wouldn't be for very long, and that no-one would know about it. But it was true nonetheless. Hermione was Lady Malfoy.

She couldn't help it. She started laughing, and Lucius joined her. The nervousness of the entire day came to a climax and they laughed and laughed. That was how one of the house elves found them ten minutes later, clutching their sides and gasping for air. The elf stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, astonished, before speaking. "Lady Ginevra Weasly has being arrived. She be waiting in the parlor."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: And that's chapter 24. Next chapter will hold the meeting between Ginny and Lucius after everything that has happened. Let's hope that goes down well.**_

_**As per usual I wish to thank everyone who has left a review. It truly makes the writing easier.**_

_**The tumblr I mentioned last time is barely being updated, for the sole reason that no-one follows it. Do let me know whether it is something you guys are interested in or not. (if so: you can find the blog on tumblr under /lovers-cure**_

_**I took the title of this chapter from the song 'sands of time' from the StarKid musical ****Twisted. ****That's a parody on Disney's Aladdin and I personally find it very entertaining (it's the same group that made the very potter musicals). You can find both the song and the entire musical on YouTube, if you're interested**_

_**Next chapter is in the making, stay tuned!**_

_**Love,**_

_**LoversCure**_


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